Drop an Anchor

There's a pretty quick way to lose an audience. And that's with mindless wandering. Many of us introverts have a habit of moving while we pull our thoughts into view, looking at nothing in particular in the room while searching the dark recesses of our brains. Extroverts are full of energy - for them movement is large, fast and continual.

For a short time, either of these things is okay. It's an interesting view, from the audience's perspective. But make it a part of your routine, and it gets monotonous.

Try dropping an anchor - you pull the audience right in.

For Lawyers - 4 Guidelines for Improving your Professional Pace

Not to be confused with PACE University, whether online or in New York - which has a school of law- or with the P.A.C.E. program of Houghton University, which boasts a management degree for working adults, pace in this blog post has to do with speed appropriate to the moment.

For decades now females have entered the business and professional world thinking they need to increase their pace to keep up with their male counterparts. Whether in the corporate setting or otherwise, there is a sense that a quickened pace rules the culture.

In sales, the driven often rise to the top quickly. One mark of who they are rests with their speed - accelerated compared to others.

Yet pace, in all its NASCAR glory, has little to do with high speed when creating success. Ironically, high speed has many things to do with creating failure.

3 energies that impact any work environment

A few years ago I explored the topic of Highly Sensitive People when I picked up Elaine Aron's book from the library. The title and topic made an impact on me, for I have a need for quiet, calm, tranquil environments. When in these environments I get focus and clarity. Seeing a book with a label like this immediately gave me a connection to a group of people I assumed I belong in. Now that I've read it I can affirm membership in this category. (If you are feeling the same way, I recommend you find a copy of Aron's book and/or workbook to gain insight for yourself as well.)

Sensitive person or not, there are 3 energies at work in all workplaces that will affect you. Without knowing this, all we can say for sure is, we are experiencing something that gives us hope or that saps us. But knowing these energies we can monitor and address them for best results.

What it takes to be a tree

Yesterday I read a tweet from the author of Be a Tree, a presentation pointer. Wonderful advice about how to come across as though you stand for something. Here is some of what he said:

Stand still as a presenter. Get your weight on both feet. Balance yourself. Do not stick one hip out like a pop singer. Instead, be the tree. But do not sway. Stand as if you are guarding something sacred, as if you stand for something important. Then, after holding this position for a reasonable time, move to another spot and stand still again. Stillness and movement is very near the crux of any performance art.

Sorry, somehow I lost the author of the post. Yet with my background in theatre and my current focus in presentation, I applaud how he illustrates the quality.

One of my clients has experienced the difference between waffling around ideas and how to express them and in being solid and practiced in her ideas, language and movement. She feels an incredible boost in confidence as she stands with purpose, sharing an idea and its illustration, then moving into her next point, ending with purpose on a thought.

I recall the time I was auditioning for a role that many contemporary actors would call an "actor's dream" part. The Guys was Harvest Theatre's new focus in 2006, the 5th year anniversary of the tragedy on Twin Towers and the many engulfed in fatalities. The show features the captain of the fireman unit that lost all their lives during the rescue attempt. Also filling out the cast is the journalist he partnered with to write all the eulogies he would have to deliver.

The journalist role is meaty - rich, dramatic, funny and real. During auditions I had a wealth of experiences to call on as I stood in front of the casting committee. Unfortunately, I didn't simply stand. When many of us are before a group and not hiding behind a podium or desk, we tend to fidget or pace or gesticulate like crazy. That's what I was doing. And in that process, my voice was loosing control. Not to say that I was screaming - instead I was underselling the script because my body was overselling it.

The director said to me, "Let's try this again. Stand solidly, without movement and take it again." Immediately I understood. In my second attempt I got connected to the monologue. The words had depth, the moment had meaning and I got control back. It worked - for I not only ended up with the part. The performances were rich and true. We learned how to move as well as how to stand and deliver. We were trees.

It takes a few simple things to be a tree:
focus, energy and trust

Certainly with focus we understand the "through-line" of our message. We know the set-up, the connection to the audience and the end result. This doesn't come to us immediately. It takes time to play around with the message enough to clarify where we're going. Then the delivery requires feedback, or at least the observance of people's feedback. Focus is the first step in becoming a tree.

Doesn't it sound odd that it also takes energy? Well it does. One cannot hold themselves solidly without breathing deeply and often. Mental alertness is jazzed with energy. Similar to singing and holding a note, the ability to hold a stance is "rooted" in the energy it takes to stay solid. Mentally we must pump up ourselves for the effort. Relax and the tree-like properties sag.

Amateur speakers seem to believe they are hampered by not trusting the audience's reactions to them. It's actually just the opposite. Those we must trust when speaking or performing is ourselves. We can handle it. We can still ourselves in the moment and create an engaging connection. When the other two properties are mastered (focus and energy), trust is a ready quality.

Tough times require being a tree. Whether on the phone with a customer, whether talking in front of a group or whether performing a rehearsed production, plan and practice focus, energy and trust. Prepare to be a tree.

Power speak vs. Power point

I started laughing this morning when I entered the space where I'd soon be presenting to the Legal Marketers Association. There at the head of the room was a pulled down screen and next to it someone setting up the extensions and power cords for a power point projector. One of the association representatives quickly jumped in to assist with where to align the small projector table just as I sidled up to share, "I won't be using power point today." Both the facility manager and the association representative did a double-take.

Nope, there's only one time I have used power point to enhance my presentation, and it wasn't worth it. At the time I used only visual images to support the points I was making. Since then I've realized so many other applications can create a more engaging effect for my topics on communication.

For instance, using volunteers to demonstrate the communication basics (message, delivery, connection, projection and attitude). Without fail there is such high engagement from the audience when volunteers are included that it is always worth the time to await the 5 volunteers I ask for. In adult learning, 1/3 of our cues come from those around us. So we can either whisper back and forth or be encouraged by the presenter to share.

The second 1/3 is from our own reflection. This has led me to tap into what people are thinking about each idea I present. Audiences commonly hear me ask, "What does this lead you to think?" or "What questions come to mind as a result?"

The third 1/3 of information useful to audiences comes from the presenter. If I have an hour to present a topic of information, I aim for 20 minutes of timed content. Beyond that is a string of questions seeking feedback, probing for more clarification and comparing to what the audience has already experienced. I know to infuse activity to deepen the learning, taking the content from head to gut. When my presentations use all three approaches, there is such heightened focus and prolonged post-presentation conversation with me and others in the room that I have vowed to never waste time with power point.

The best images I can create are in the nonverbal responses within the room. That's worth much more time than power point. The name of the game is connecting, and the method isn't technical. It's now power speak, power reflect, power experience and power results.

We All Felt It

It's Thursday, and as is often the case, I'm walking downtown, ready with a smile if needed, yet usually focused on earlier conversations in my head. Seldom do I walk around downtown without a purpose, so I'm often rehashing, prepping, planning, anything but paying attention to what's going on around me. I guess you could say I was once again NOT connecting.

I stopped for the light at the corner of the busiest intersection in downtown Columbus (Broad and High) awaiting the Walk sign so I could cross Broad when I saw a flash of 4 young men stream past me, then wham! I looked down to discover one of them face down on the sloped part of the sidewalk leading into the street, feet almost touching the street and blood already streaming from his face.

Those of us waiting at the corner all did a collective gasp, momentarily held in suspension of belief, then moving in slow motion to assist the young man. His body was lifeless, angled at the waist yet facing down. No one seemed concerned by the baggy pants exposing his bright yellow shorts. Stepping around the enlarging puddle of blood under his face, we all moved tentatively to help him, move him, adjust him so we had a better understanding of what just happened.

Just at the time I said "We need to call 911", my hand was on my phone and the lady near me said, "Got it."

"You're calling?" I repeated, not wanting to waste another moment in making the call. "Yes", she said while nodding and then I heard her say, "a young man was accosted while on foot at Broad and High; he's bleeding badly from the face and not moving; wait, yes, he's breathing..."

By this time 2 businessmen were at his side, on the pavement in front of me just as he was getting up to move.

"Wait!" we all yelled, and the completely unaware victim slammed himself into the light pole, bouncing in the direction of traffic.

Only my mouth could move - "Grab him" I said, for his poor feet weren't stopping. As blood was streaming down his face and his eyes were working hard to focus, he hardly noticed anyone around him. Quickly the young man was contained, pulled away from traffic, yet the men were apprehensive to touch him, he was soiled badly by his own blood. Then he began to cross the street just as a bus was pulling through.
"No!" several onlookers exclaimed and the men nearby no longer thought of their clothes but only of his safety as they pulled him back onto the sidewalk.

By then 3 teens entered the scene, laughing, taunting him. 8 or 9 of us adults stood in horror, witnessing the callous behavior. One stood right beside me. I wanted to say, "What is wrong with you?!" But all I could do was watch. This time not only my feet, my mouth wouldn't work, either.

By now an ER wagon pulled up from the north and a lady near me flagged down a patrol car heading down High Street from the south. The youth pulled away from the men corraling him, stepped into the Dunkin Donuts on the corner behind us where he was immediately assisted onto a chair and guarded. Those assaulting him had flown across Broad, tucking themselves into the underground parking shelter.

"I don't know for sure, but I think those 3 across the street were the ones responsible for this," I said, turning to the adults around me who had stayed behind to assist. Many heads nodded and fingers pointed that direction as others clumped into tidy bundles to discuss their interpretation of what just happened.

"Excuse me, ma'm." A Dunkin' Donuts manager had walked outside with a tall cup full of hot water, intent on washing out the crimson blood from the sidewalk into the street. Up until that point, I was trying to protect the pedestrian traffic from walking through it, unaware. Some saw it, did a double-take, quickly looking around for evidence or a trail.

"Oh, yes, thank you," I offered as I side-stepped to avoid the splash. My next move was to rush into the donut shop to get the patrol's attention on the 3 assailants across the street. Once there I realized another lady was already telling him about the offenders, so I jumped in to speed up his awareness of where they were.

"Yes, she's right," the lady continued. "One has bright red shorts on and a black jacket." A man nearby turned to me and said, "the kid knows them."

Probably only 6 or 7 minutes went by as all this developed. Yet I can't recall being so aware of my surroundings and those around me until that moment. We seemed caught up in a fog, yet nothing like we were just minutes ago. I'm pleased to note we responded. We weren't the innocent bystanders who shy away from the action. Nor are we deserving any credit. We were just caught up in the moment of someone's life being harshly taken for granted. Slammed into the sidewalk. Poked fun of. Callously used as entertainment. In that moment I felt the universal need to step in and make a difference. Many of us did.

Little difference we made on the life of the poor young man. Maybe we saved him from real pain that day, yet something tells me he's been getting it for awhile. He'll still get it. No, I don't think we did much to stop that chain of events. Yes, some of them who were harrassing the youth were arrested. I saw them put the handcuffs on, saw the harasser patted down. But there was only one. Another stood on the sidewalk watching - or did I assume that young man was involved? It happened so fast.

What I appreciate out of all this was the collective surge we experienced - those of us who were shocked out of our inner monologue enough to be present to something going on. The appeal we responded to, to take notice. To not walk away. Yes, the persuasive appeal was strong - the immobility of the young man and the blood that freely ran without any sign of awareness on his part. That engaged us.

Walking into the bank later, I could hardly speak for the emotions I had experienced. Yet I had to share the story. It was too gripping to ignore. We all felt it. Before the adult group at the corner of Broad and High broke up, we touched each other, thanked each other for staying, for helping, for influencing our own behavior. So those usual exchanges that we have with bank tellers, with coffee shop baristas, etc, today had a new cadence, a tempo and mood unique and appropriate to being aware of those forces in life that force us to take notice.

"I'm still recovering," has been my response to "and how are you today?" No drama, just simple, measured words. Usually someone who tries to extend positive energy and make a difference to those around me, I today am forsaking decorum for the sake of letting life make a difference to me. I've seen so many news stories about violence, vengeance, pranks, suicide, and murder. And I've not paid attention long enough for it to make a difference on me. If I had, I could then call myself to action: to pray for guidance, support or relief. It reminds me of the poignant take on an old saying,

"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you aren't paying attention."

You have a speaking gig tomorrow... can you speak with confidence?

Just thinking about an upcoming presentation causes many speakers to feel squeemish -even for those of us used to speaking. It's a biological response that sets our energies in motion, in search of a plan. So planning is definitely the first step toward a confident presentation.



Planning our end result is key. Do you want to inspire? Do you want to educate? Do you want to persuade? Consider your intended outcome and work that outcome into both your introduction and conclusion. Now you have a set of bounndaries to stay within. With a plan, we feel grounded and ready - but don't expect the butterflies to disappear. They'll keep you geared up and ready to deliver, even with a plan.

Secondly, we must prepare. By this I mean focus on who the audience is, what they know, what they've experienced, what they need, what they want.



Preparation takes work. It means getting away from what you know long enough to relate that information to them during this particular time in their life. It requires thoughtful reflection, some mental calculation, some digging deep to uncover useful tidbits and some willingness to see things through their point of view.

Only this will help you connect with them. Leave them thinking, "Gosh, the speaker is just like me." If they feel this way, the lightbulb in their head will go on regarding your insight. They will not only pay attention to your logic, they will find you credible in understanding them and their needs. Prepare your message with them in mind - respecting who they are, where they've been and how you can support them.

The next step to put into place is practicing. Yet unless we realize what to practice, we could waste our time.



Keep these things in mind: Practice allows us to try out how to use the energy that's all fired up within us so we know what to expect when we're focusing on our message but all that we see is our nerves. With practice we can make use of movement to equalize our energy. We can look at our surroundings instead of the script. We remember that the focus is to be on our audience instead of ourselves. With practice we remember to project our voice into the entire space the group takes up, to use eye contact, to stop for questions and comments and to try out each tool we're relying on. With practice we get ourselves ready to connect. Without it, we stay in our head.

So allow time to adequately plan, prepare and practice. Until you do, you won't sleep well. So even if it's 11pm and you've avoided these steps, take them. You'll go to bed late, but you'll arise the next morning no longer lacking confidence. You'll be energized, focused and ready to connect. What a great place to be.

Success Story: Results from a very targeted focus

17 months ago I moved to a new city. Although business still happens in my previous city - where my network is strong and the need continues - in the new I needed to get very strategic about business development.

I am a networker, realizing the value of relationship and referrals for my service-focused communication coaching business. A sole proprietor, I must ask for help from my network to generate word-of-mouth buzz and uncover needs through referral. With this help, I can spend a portion of my week prospecting/networking/marketing, another portion in client-focused time, some portion on administrative tasks and yet another on research/development. Sole proprietors know the need to make good use of our time as well as to diversify our activity to cover the priority bases.

So when it comes to networking in a new location to quickly develop relationships that lead to referral, I need a strategy. From my training with the Certified Networker program, I understand that entering a new area where I had no network posed not only a challenge, but an opportunity.

There are some key steps I use in my networking strategy that hold me accountable and focused, giving me powerful results today. I help attorneys speak with confidence, whether they are networking, working within their firm environment, business building or in the courtroom. I have spoken at 2 attorney professional associations, in sub-groups within the local bar association, within several firms for luncheon meetings. I coach several as individuals and now operate as a coach within firms. All this in the space of 17 months' focus.

My success is built around a strategy. Because it takes trial and error, some of the steps within the strategy have a less structured and some a more structured approach. Regardless, these 3 steps were vital to me.

Strategy for Developing a Business Network
1. Select a target market. With this selection, I hone a focus. Eventhough my services can apply to all industries, I can't become an expert for all industries. Nor can I create a word-of-mouth buzz in all industries. I must select one. For me this was attorneys. Like me, the majority of them are introverts. Introverts suffer the most from insecurity, especially when taking a risk. Speaking in public, let alone to those unlike us often challenge us into avoidance. With attorneys I can be an expert.

2. Select methods of networking with the target market Notice this is not about "reaching" them. This is about "connecting" with them. Reaching can be through online presence, direct mail material, email marketing programs. But connecting, actually having a face-to-face experience, is required for reaching my select market. Here is where both social media and traditional networking combine for a powerful impact.

My previous contacts in my Linked-In network were a huge resource to me. Searching their contacts in my new location, I discovered several who could intercede on my behalf simply so I could start face-to-face networking without making a cold call. When I asked them for assistance, they delivered. Prior to moving here, I had 2 months of meetings lined up.

While meeting face to face, I had a list of referral requests - not for business but for assistance. They didn't know me at all, so I knew my requests needed to be general. For instance,
a. "where do you network?"
b. "would you be willing to invite me to join you next time?"
c. "what do you know about the (target market) industry?"
d. if applicable, "where do they network?"

Once I gained exposure to networking events/options/environments, I broadened my time spent exploring. I would eventually (for me, a year) determine which environments or events to commit to. For now, I was learning/trying out what worked for me.

3. Decide who to maintain a continual follow-up with. Not all individuals I meet with will be a constant appointment. Not even most of them. One appt tells me whether there is value in friendship, target market, information/expertise, etc. If the value exists, another meeting is scheduled before I leave. If it doesn't, no need to reschedule.

My attorney-coaching practice grew as a result of three key things: Giving public speeches (number one business builder), building trusting relationships through networking, and getting referrals.

3 attorneys I met with as a result of seeing them on LinkedIn, lobbied their professional organizations for my opportunity to speak in front of them. Some of them seriously connected me within their industry to firms and/or key individuals. This came as a result of following up with them regularly - they became my referral partners.

Through networking I developed fun, energetic and serious relationships with another handful of people who either began using me as their coach or referring me to others.

In time I learned where to network, who to keep on my calendar and how to hone services especially for my target market. This continues to give me "buzz" in the attorney industry as the Go-To person for helping them develop confidence whether through their speaking or their relationship-building.

The key here, for those of us needing to build our own business, is to have a strategy. Although networking all over the place can be important just to get started, it isn't the rule of thumb. When we network all over the place, we put priorities all over the place. Which actually means - we have no priorities. We don't specialize in groups of people, we specialize in ourselves. We serve no industry, we serve only ourselves. And ultimately, we serve only ourselves by squandering all our time.

Let me know in what ways this strategy serves your target market.

How many people do we need in our network?

For us business owners, we know the value of connecting with someone new. Whether they could be a prospect, a friend, an information source or a referral source, they are someone most of us take the time to meet.

For those just starting out in business, the question is often,

How many people do I need to know to make this work?

Well, if This is word of mouth marketing/referral marketing, then it may be a number different than most business builders think.
Depending on the number of clients you need to support your business, and how marketable your services/products are, the number will vary.

Say, for instance, you sell something to customers who will never buy again, because you sell solutions, then you must be constantly attracting and selling to new clients. If your average $ transaction is low, the number of clients needed is higher. The more people you know, the better your chances of getting new business, IF you have a good relationship with them and they need what you have.

If your business is about maintaining, supporting, training or something other than problem-solving, the client turnover rate is much less, if you're doing a good job and pleasing the customer. Yet you still need to get your message out to a great number of people before your service solution makes a sale.

So how many people, on average, do we need to know to get steady business?

Most business owners and professionals in business for at least 7 or 8 years will know, on the average, 1200 people. Seem high? No, it's actually an average, and one that is often exceeded by people very involved in their community. Considering all the folks we've met in life, from high school until today, we've touched many lives and have quite the list of names to show for it.

The trick is in making use of people we already know. And since some of the people we know will be those we've not seen or spoken to in years, some will be in other areas of the country, some will be inaccessible, we have whittled down the list tremendously. Possibly from 1200 to 750. Is this enough?

Consider the fact that if we know 1200 people, the remaining 750 people in our list knows an average of 1200 people, too. Wow. Now that's 900,000 in our network.

However - there are only a few who will move into action on our behalf. Maybe a dozen. Quite possibly even fewer. Which still means 14,400 people are at our disposal in our network.

So how many people do we have to know? Actually, the question really should be, how many people are we willing to regularly connect with?



If our message needs to reach a great number of people, let's at least give it to a handful - as in the social networking diagram - regularly. The only way they can share the message is if they know it. And the only way our message will be repeated is if we have delivered it, made a powerful connection and motivated the listener to spread the word. And a several steps closer than through social media is through face to face connections.

How many people are in your network? Better yet, how many of them do you connect with regularly, sharing a message worth repeating? Connect....connect....connect.

Improv rules for everyday application

In my earlier career of teaching, I developed an Improv ensemble in my school system who were admirably received from the community.

The scads of improv exercises and techniques these kids explored and developed through were huge tools for keeping their skills in check - and offered them great fun!

Yet there were two simple rules that held the great improv member apart from those simply there to "have fun":

1. Accept what is given to you.
2. Make your partner look good.

These aren't easy practices to follow, based on the general public's philosophy in life - generally around competing. Especially for teens and young adults, the idea of accepting vs. questioning/attacking is foreign. At least when the focus is in topics of interest.

Making your partner look good could be a common practice, if and when conversation is about sharing complimentary opinions. Yet this idea is not about judgment - it's about building on ideas. Once we accept an idea - per the first rule - we then further it with our own idea. This creates a trusting relationship while complimenting the original idea, giving strength to the originator's value.

When these 2 rules are applied, the levels of entertainment, creativity and connection all escalate. It keeps energy fluent and momentous.

Going back to the first rule, if an idea is not accepted, energy stops. And this stops creativity. What soon happens is a battering of negative energy. Consider the difference in the two exchanges below.

A "Gotta love this rain."

B "No I don't."

vs.

A "Gotta love this rain."

B "Especially when these umbrellas keep popping up out of the ground."

What difference in allowing for creative flow, entertainment, charged focus when we accept the ideas given us!

Not about one-upping yet more about making good use of an originating idea. My ensemble often played the game, Yes, And... which tested their ability to keep the energy moving in a speedy structure. It became one of their favorites and complimented their approach to everyday conversation.

The places we go when we choose to accept ideas vs. question them gave my young improv group a space to build trusting, exploratory expression. And it gave audiences a chance to enter this safe, trusting space, in awe of the creative flow and applauding its outcome.

Randy Nelson, Dean of Pixar University speaks to the concept of applying Improv rules to Creativity in the work environment. (click on the title to see a video and text of his talk - Tips for Creative Success from Pixar). The wealth of progress we could accomplish in our everday professional life, our everyday personal life and our ability to connect with people could be endless, were we to apply these two rules of improv.

Consider accepting what is given to you. How would this apply to your professional circumstances, especially if you were to build on it vs. shut down? When we operate with the intention of making those around us look good, what is created?Test this out. You will see your improv skills tested, enjoyed and appreciated.

Just the Basics, please

Common courtesy. Do we have time for it? Are we afraid of it? Do we understand it?

Here's a scenario. Someone has picked up the phone and dialed your number, intending to either speak to you or leave you a message. Purpose? To get a response from you. Or maybe the delivery was through email, or a visit, or a note delivered via the postal service.

In any of the above cases, if the intent is to get a response, the best manner of delivering the message is In Person. Chances are good that the person being visited will be present a. if there is an appointment, b. if you're visiting their office and/or c. if they suggested you visit. Yet often the person being sought out is unavailable. Now what? Leave word, which puts the ball in their court.

What is common courtesy out of the recipient being visited?
a. If someone calls me and leaves a message, I should return the call, regardless of my feelings about their information. At the least, I should send an email (may be considered a cheap way out) for that is at least a response. Better is to make a connection that allows for an exchange.

b. If the delivery was through email, return the message and respond to any request being asked. Better yet, suggest a time to get together.

c. If there was a postal note delivered wanting specific information in a timely format, either email your response or dial and discuss.

Obviously the individual seeking a connection will determine their willingness to follow-up regardless of our response. But common courtesy on our part goes a long way in shaping our reputation.

These are the basics. Now that I've reviewed them, I've already increased my To-Do list, for a few items had fallen between the cracks! If the case is the same for you, redeem yourself. These basics go a long way.

Want to enhance your communication? Start with just the basics, please.

Customer Service and the Nature of Attorneys

Yeah, there is actually a Nintendo game called Apollo Justice, Ace Attorney, where the player may either operate to gather evidence or operate in the courtroom. This isn't about that game - for I've never played it. I simply like how the graphic depicts some views of attorneys, for better or for worse.

Because let's face it. When it comes to customer service, it's all about perception. And sometimes the perception we have of roles in our society are skewed. I believe one such role with a skewed view from the general public is the attorney. Here's why: we see TV shows or films that depict attorneys as extroverts, aggressive and sometimes with something "up their sleeve". The Atticus Finches (character of the Pulitzer prize-winning novel To Kill a Mockingbird)seem to be a thing of the past unless you are a Dan Brown or John Grisham fan who usually focuses on the lawyer who represents the underdog.

If our perspective is in line with the general public, we distrust them, for they seem to act based on the bottom line - the almighty dollar. In truth, attorneys are most commonly introverts. They are book worms who enjoy researching, which in the case of discovering legal precedence and establishing a case for their client, is on target with what we would expect them to do. Therefore when it comes to being responsive, they fall short.

With high customer service, being responsive is a huge deal. As in other customer service perceptions, from attorney to client, there is a huge gap in perception about whether the attorney is responsive. Perhaps it starts with understanding what exactly being responsive means.

An attorney would claim to respond to messages in timely fashion - within days of a client reaching out to them. Yet a client wants them to respond within hours. What stands in the attorney's way? Their endless task list. Face it. The attorney is task-driven moreso than relationship driven, even when they are "into" people. The introvert, whether task or people focused, prefers distance, space and time to mull things over. But with customer service, it's not about the attorney. It's about the client.

From the client's view, responsiveness not only means responding within hours, but responding in such a way they (client) feel valued. When the attorney creates a working relationship of understanding, interpreting what the client needs, they feel valued. Yet most attorneys, although they can intellectually appreciate what customer service is, they are hard-pressed to demonstrate it. An attorney is the sort of individual which is minimally self-aware. And with that comes the inability to gain awareness in what their client wants - this limits the attorney's ability to connect. Without that connection, truth and trust have their limits.

In the professional market of offering world-class legal service, quality customer service leads to referrals, further business association and dynamic reputation that goes beyond the final decision. It impacts the experience the client felt, the trust they develop and the awe and respect the attorney deserves. For those attorneys who are looking for peace of mind and self-satisfaction, responsiveness is key to their livelihood. They understand the benefits to delivering from the client's point of view. To them, professional coaching and support in the behaviors that lead to the best client experience is crucial. With the ability to connect and then to further this responsiveness to a strong focus on the client, customer satisfaction shifts from the average to above average. Couple that with strong research and thorough preparation and the client is holding the legal professional in awe.

What will it take for you to be responsive? I hope it includes asking good questions that lead to understanding. Also pulling self away from tasks to respond quickly to client needs while also disciplining self to focus on what is important. Soon you'll be breaking the assumption of the nature of attorneys and possibly redefining it.

Curtain's Up in the Courtroom!

When I was in college studying communications and theatre in the late 70's/early 80's, I learned that law students were required to take theatre or drama classes. I don't know whether all law schools had this in their requirements, but I didn't care. What mattered to me was that attorneys had to develop some discipline. It made sense to me. Rather like Mark Antony, litigators are performers who must influence their audience (judge or jury)to take action, despite the Brutus's around.

The best understand that the script - message - is the least important piece of the experience. Most actors would tell you that the least enjoyable comment they could receive from an admiring audience member is, "How did you remember all those words?"
Instead, it has to do with moving the hearts and minds, especially into action.

Although it must be carefully focused, the attorney's message/script is only as important as the messenger. Yes, the facts must support the intention. However, without a connection to the listeners, a delivery that engages and a mindset focused on what's important, the message is lost.

Careful preparation, repetition and ownership contribute to the attorney's presence. But what tools and strategies support these actions? If the attorney is working on their own without the benefit of having any theatre training and keeping up with that craft, their focus goes simply to the message. This forces attention on only two things: facts and competition. Discovery, research, interviews, exhibits are the technical end. Relying on them to be the means to the end is short-sighted.

It's like an actor showing up with the right props, the right lines, at the right time in the chronological order of the storyline yet failing to listen, to react, or to breathe. The producer might as well print the entire script in the program.

The good news is, attorneys make a difference to juries when they take their time to connect, to deliver something memorable and clear and to stay focused on what's important. This comes from reviewing the artistic elements of courtroom presence. Practicing, committing to becoming effective, all on behalf of the client who needs their legal counselor to make a performance of their lifetime. Because of the impact on them, the client.

Clients want to know that when curtain's up in the courtroom, the butterflies they and their attorneys are experiencing is from excitement about their preparation which works into energy needed for them to stand and deliver.

What you See is What you Get

This year one of the areas of focus I have made a commitment to is in hearing public servants speak. You can tell a lot from a person's presentation.

Forget the fact that often these people are trying to appear "off-the-cuff" by using teleprompters. It may appear they are often looking at any of us, yet if we are standing in the line of focus between the podium and the teleprompter, we may momentarily think they not only are looking at us - they keep coming back to us as well!

Can you see the teleprompter posts? If so, what you see is what you get. The speaker is focusing where the message is, not where the audience is. And there is little connection they are making to the audience as a result. Forget the fact that teleprompters are designed to lend the feeling of strong audience connection. It doesn't happen. The speaker is too focused on staying on top of the message to take time to make eye contact.

It may appear they have their message committed to memory, yet they are completely dependent on the script showing up in two sight lines, one on the right and one on the left, allowing them to span the audience continually. The message may be familiar to them, yet it isn't solid.

No matter how much they review that message, as long as it is presented in front of them, they will seek it. And this doesn't give them comfort. It gives them great pain. It is unnatural. It doesn't allow them to have necessary pauses, to look away momentarily, to be enlightened by a sudden thought. The pain of the teleprompting is the technical team controls the pace of the speaker by controlling the pace of the script.

What happens to the speaker is transparent. Unnatural restriction of emotion overwhelms them. When smiles, frowns, joy, frustration, admiration or other emotion could naturally support the speaker's words, there is a blank face. Blank, because the speaker doesn't allow life to enter the moment. Blank, because there is little heartfelt sensibility going on. Blank, because the pacing disallows emotional engagement.

Instead, redness out of embarrassment, out of stress or pressure to stay "on" in a rhythmic, vocal way, redness overtakes the speaker's face and nervousness becomes their mode of operation.

This is a very transparent experience. The speaker appears befuddled, or overwhelmed, or unsure or lacking commitment. The speaker seems unprofessional as a result.

What you see is a speaker reading a monitor, disconnected to their passion behind the message. They are following the teleprompter vs. leading the audience towards influence. Turn off the teleprompter! If the speaker is making a commitment to their message, prove it. Study it, practice it, become it and present it. Otherwise, the speech is no longer important. Only watching the speaker try to keep up is important. Only watching whether they are connected to their own message is important. Only watching to see whether they will look anyone in the eyes while speaking words from their heart is important.

What you SEE is what you get.

Positively dripping!

At least twice this week I was caught in moments when time stood still.

Just a few hours ago was the most recent, and because of that it finally dawned on me I need to reflect on this. I need to find out what's going on, plan to get more of it and put these moments to use!

Here's what happened:
Each moment when time stood still I fell into useful sites (blogs, videos, tweets) that echoed strategies or tips or ideas I've been churning around in my head. Yes - it's the truth.

One has to do with blogging to get business. Not about writing about it, but about positioning oneself in key ways with content (free and very useful to readers) that adds huge value and repeat traffic. About generating mailing lists within the blog template. (this one I need help with - can't figure out how to synch this with Blogspot) And also about developing relationships with readers individually to lead to future business.

Over the past few weeks I keep looking at my Blog following (20) and realize it's a pretty small following for what I invest in to write. What to do about this....that has been my dilemma. Now I'm offered a strategy and didn't hear myself ask for it! That made time stand still.

Another time I fell into a networking member's website after getting an invitation to spend the day with them. To explore more of what type of work they do before I spend time with them, I went searching at their website. Once on the site I opened a link that led me directly to a presentation my friend both video- and audio- recorded. I was very interested because it was about effectively communicating complex information. That has been a new client need - effectively communicating complex messages.

What I saw demonstrated is similar information I extol in general terms. Yet their work took it steps further with specific examples that made my mind positively drip full of ideas! Now I can turn this approach into useful coaching for the new client as well as for other audiences, both general and specific.



Immediately I pulled out one of my Staples legal pads and started translating the concepts shared into practical examples I can use to any audience I present to. Incredible! It's the format and approach I've been needing. I can't believe I didn't think of it, yet once I saw it my mind couldn't stop! It was almost 5pm and yet I kept at it, not even thinking of Beer:30 until a good hour later.

In cases like this, when the stream of applications to my business is endless, I'm not trying to wrap up my day, nor nosing through the cupboards and refridgerator looking for a worthy distraction. No - I'm engaged.

I must interject right now what led me to each of these fantastic mind bridges. I was searching. Discovery is such a healthy, natural activity for us, that when we allow ourselves to discover, we are bound to find useful, fun, relevant material that we sink our brains into. We allow ourselves to attract that which we need.

And I have been needing new fodder for creative ideas. I've been looking for ways to upgrade my tools and coaching strategies, my methods of getting OUT THERE. So I began by scanning topics put out there on the web (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and other mediums). This is time well-spent.

Once I am in moments like these described, I furiously write to take notes, to apply to my circumstances. I write out onto my action lists enough info to engage me later, so I continue bringing myself back to the notes and ideas until I've applied them into my routine. That follow through is important. I'm a slow and steady gal who gets tapped out if I try to complete the task all at once. Knowing that my mind was dripping, I disciplined myself to follow up in small bits.

My lesson is learned. For instance, I am scheduling regular discovery sessions throughout my week. Exploration takes time, takes discipline and also is enjoyable. So why not plan for it? That's the lesson I learned. Plan to explore. It's refueling. My mind is positively dripping with ideas!

'Ways to Introduce Coaching'

'Ways to Introduce Coaching'

Is Communication Coaching for me?

Most people have no idea what to expect from a communication coaching experience. Some wonder whether it's for those who are required to speak in front of groups, or whether it's for leaders, let alone for those who want to improve relationships, focus or a better understanding of themselves.



Consider the following questions and how you may respond to discover whether communication coaching will break down those barriers you want broken down:


1 When you are scheduled to speak to a group, are you at a loss as to how to prepare?

2 Has your speaking fear grown into speaking anxiety no matter what the environment or event is?

3 Is your challenge in how to handle "off-the-cuff" responses?

4 Do you sense that you need to simplify your technical information? Do you want to learn how to edit your material - when everything seems important?

5 Is influencing others, especially key people, your challenge?

6 Do you want to learn how to easily adjust and adapt to feedback?

7 Do you want to be wiser about how you impact people so you can tweak habits accordingly?

8 Do you need to learn how to condense a talk when your time is cut short?

9 Want to learn how to handle tough conversations?

10 Want to manage the voice in your head?

11 Have others asked you to slow down or speak louder?

12 Would you like to be one of those people who walk into any room with presence and confidence?


These are the most common questions clients have that bring them to coaching. If three or more of these relate to you, then you are ready to ask for help, to create a breakthrough for yourself and to generate behaviors that lead to confidence whether in handling tough conversations, presentations, that voice in your head or the relationships around you.

And when you take action around coaching, you are in the top 10% of individuals who actually follow through with what they most desire. Congratulations!

Email Merri at merri@bdbcommunication. We can get started right away.

Difficult Conversations

Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, some conversations are just difficult to have. Although an introvert may find this to be the case more often than his/her assertive counterpart, the truth is, sometimes any of us could be at a loss for words.

I recall a great number of times when I struggled with conversation - all having to do with being honest. Not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, I would rather tell a white lie than speak to someone's faults, errors or inadequacies. Likewise, I had difficulty pointing out my own mistakes, especially when around those I knew well.

All of us are fairly good at communicating. We listen, voice, encourage, discern, account, question, connect, engage, articulate, inform, seek and understand. Yet when any of three key triggers grip us, we stumble.

The triggers are

when we think others will disagree

when our emotions are challenged

when we perceive risk escalating

At these times we will either handle the conversation well (at times this is the case), we will mishandle it (often the case) or we will avoid it entirely (at least a third of the time).

There is no one thing to keep in mind to improve our responses. In fact, moving from avoidance to participation and from mishandling to handling well requires us to do several things.

1. Manage yourself
Doing this means it's okay to you that you make mistakes. You know lessons are learned this way, and as long as you follow through with the appropriate apologies and honest while supportive feedback, you can let yourself be a work in progress.

2. Use objectivity
Let information be information. What is true to one person may not be true to others, yet what is true to them should be validated. Although your emotions may be engaged, focus on facts. This isn't about backing down. It's about discovery - and that moves people forward.

3. Influence others
When people like and trust us, they allow themselves to be influenced by us. On the most basic level, respecting them can move them to like or trust us. What will it take for us to respect them before they even respect us? This step is critical to anyone in leadership as well as to those wanting influence in other circumstances.

With these steps also comes the need to frame conversations well, to be accountable, to plan in advance and prepare to connect well with your audience. Difficult conversations will always stretch us. Yet what we hope comes from them is practice, good experiences, respect and true appreciation for others.

The hardest part

Now what?

I've done what I said I would do.

I showed up. I made the call. I sent the information. I am ready and waiting.
And the clock keeps ticking. My alarm is about to ring. Why? I'm impatient.

One of the hardest things in life is waiting. It allows us to question, to reconsider, to doubt and even to regret.

Yet the ironies that multiply around our impatience have to do with what we have failed to do. While we are patting ourselves on the back regarding a specific individual, task or priority, we fail to engage in the activities others are waiting for us to act on.

In life ironies abound. While we are getting impatient with others, yet others are already fed up with us. It just happens that way.

The hardest part of life is finding the balance in our inconsistencies. What we see in others applies to ourselves. There is always an inconsistency. So we either stop getting impatient with others or we settle for looking within to find the inconsistency. And then do something about it. Now.

Connect. Just do it. There is someone you've been meaning to get back to. Stay in touch. All it takes is a simple connection. Next thing you know, others will be reaching out to you.

Anxious Movement

Steps in the hallway, around the coffee pot, outside for a smoke, into a cubicle for whispers. Anxious energy leads us further away from the most important tasks at hand.

I can't do this. It doesn't feel right. I'm not any good. Why me?

These comments leave our lips or infect our thinking and before we know it, the energy within us - digging away at our psyche - furrows deeper ruts into habits that make poor use of our resources. Time is squandered, emotions are drained and our useful energy has been wasted.

We all have energy within us to do whatever we have to do. It pumps our blood that fuels whatever level of physical, emotional and mental activity awaiting us. And just like so many natural resources today, we waste it.

Pacing, fidgeting, eating, drinking, fighting, peeling out of parking lots and shouting expletives. Unfocused energy which can no longer be contained, leaks out. Because our bodies must move. We must do. We have a natural flow that requires motion. When we resist, avoid, balk and hinder, we give our nervous system few choices in how to cope.

Is this the way to be? Sloshing, waving, in turbulence? Out of focus and uncontrolled, it's not a manageable existence. Step one of managing ourselves is determining what steps need to be taken. And you've guessed it, step two is taking them.

No more sloshing, avoidant behaviors. No more excuses. Take the steps. Enough said.