What I Believe about Coaching

So many of us are looking for the magic bullet. Whether to attack incompetence, ineffectiveness, self-doubt or lack of strategy. We want help. And the bottom line beneath this is our feeling of inadequacy.

We want to feel adequate to others. We want to have our voice heard. We want to erase the past and move into the future by focusing on our present need.

Today there are VOLUMES of coaches. Business coaches, life coaches, athletic coaches, team coaches, relationship coaches. This, to me, clearly indicates our society's desire to seek help. Which reflects either a driven ambition or a desire to finally get recognition.

What I believe about coaching, which reflects my belief in community, has to do with tapping into a willingness to slow down. This isn't a simple process, yet the ability to slow down, to idle while pausing to reflect, gives us tremendous capacity to accept what the divine/universe is giving us.

When we are in the driver's seat of our automobile, accelerating toward the top of an overpass in a busy highway, we are alarmed when we suddenly enter fog. Our impulse is to brake the momentum. Unless we brake and then decelerate, we will crash. Whether we are emotionally overwhelmed by our lack of visibility and turn the wheel towards an embankment, or whether we strive to push forward and bang into a suddenly visible vehicle, our momentum suddenly appears costly. The only thing for us to do when we are startled by our circumstances is to slow enough to assess the situation.

The same is true about how we handle our life - professional or personal.

We all have within us exactly what we need to handle our circumstances. Perhaps this means intellect. Maybe it means intuition. Could also be the heart to reach out for assistance. Coaching is a process that helps us slow down to discover what we already have that can apply to our current surroundings.

As a coach, I come ready to ask useful questions. Questions about how we operate, what works for us, and other areas that give clients a chance to assess their skills, attitudes, behaviors and habits. From these questions come profound truth and key reflection designed to give individuals a chance to drive up that embankment without fear.

Coaching is another form of GPS. Instead of supplying answers, it supplies tools. And just like any handy-person knows, giving someone a tool gives them the means to get back to work (or to life, or to love, or to peace).

Are you in a fog right now? Maybe engaging a coach is your next vital step. Vision about ourselves is crucial to handling circumstances with confidence.

How Do You Manage?

Many of us are entrepreneurs, or working from home, or business building and enjoy having freedom within our day. Perhaps we are out and about while networking, or we can adjust our day to handle a visit to the veterinarian, or can adjust our direction with ease because we are the one calling the shots.

And with this freedom comes the need to put structure into an otherwise unstructured environment - otherwise we get little accomplished while constantly striving to put out fires. So how do we do it? How do we focus on the important things in our day, our week and our month while juggling all the balls related to our responsibilities?

For one thing, it requires discipline.

If we have to create consistency in our processes, we must make some decisions about how to approach things for best results, then do it the same way time and again. Tracking our consistency gives us the ability to measure our results, and to see what patterns exist when we don't get what we want. This consistency is an act of discipline and focus.

I have read about a new diet that will allow me to control my waistline. In this diet I have choices about what to eat, 6 times daily. Yet once I choose, I am instructed to not deviate from these 6 menus each day, but to hold tight to them for 2 weeks if I want to see results. The philosophy is, with more choices, we make mistakes that throw us off from our desired results.

Although I love choice, I selected my 6 choices and then discovered the thrill in knowing all I had to do was committ to them to get my desired results. Discipline around a few things vs. discipline when being overwhelmed with many choices is much easier to manage.


I run accountability groups for business owners and professionals who want to report the results of their commitment to their goals. What they love about these group meetings is they get to hear from a few individuals, like themselves, who are neutral to their choices yet who care about their results. The discipline involved is showing up for 2 hours monthly to share how business has been going and help each other over the barriers to growth. Yet once each member shows up, he/she is so energized by the brainstorming and ability to relate, that the level of success explodes.

How do they manage showing up for 2 hours to work on their business when it means pulling away from working in the business? Their motivation around the results drive them to be disciplined. Consequently, once they return to their office environment, they have the energy to accomplish things faster than they would have, had they stayed. It's a win/win.

All this comes from being willing to ask for help, consistently showing up to get the benefits, and they move forward as a result.

In summary,
1. Ask for help
2. Use discipline to commit to it
3. Consistently focus on the goals

If you don't have a small group of neutral yet interested parties to help you manage yourself, let me know. We may have a spot for you.

For Business Building - 1 single activity is all it takes

For the business owner and those managing the pipeline for the next sale, there is a single activity to exploit. And I mean exploit in the best way. Do it again and again and again. Often. With zeal.

Many think it's about picking up the phone. Although many salesfolks get appointments this way, it takes tremendous time while depleting the energy of the person hearing the phone incessantly ring and go to voicemail, or getting the not so interested responses.

Using direct mail gets the message out, but where? Most commonly, to the closest dumpster or trash container.

Networking events are great. They allow us to mingle and meet new folks, exchange business cards, yet the audience may not be receptive due to one thing. So far, they don't know us.

The number one thing that boosts business for any business owner or sales person is public speaking. Public speaking gives us the chance to start a relationship. It gives us a chance to offer some free information and tips and it gives us a chance to handle questions of interest all without threat. Public speaking puts us in front of many indviduals(and can lead to many groups) who generally already have an interest in our message - unlike the gatekeeper, mail sorter or networker who is out to drink with the buds.

Sure, public speaking is the most common fear the public faces. But many who fear heights, bungy jump. Many who fear death, aggressively seek adventure. Those who fear public humiliation face their fears and speak often in public. And what does it get them? Confidence. Recognition. Attention. Credibility. Interest. Curiousity. An audience. A following. Trust. Business.

Got business to develop? Start facing the fear of the meager pipeline by facing what it takes to get in front of the audience. Let that pipeline challenge drive you to the #1 activity. Get ready, get up, move forward in front of the audience and get speaking!

Improv rules for everyday application

In my earlier career of teaching, I developed an Improv ensemble in my school system who were admirably received from the community.

The scads of improv exercises and techniques these kids explored and developed through were huge tools for keeping their skills in check - and offered them great fun!

Yet there were two simple rules that held the great improv member apart from those simply there to "have fun":

1. Accept what is given to you.
2. Make your partner look good.

These aren't easy practices to follow, based on the general public's philosophy in life - generally around competing. Especially for teens and young adults, the idea of accepting vs. questioning/attacking is foreign. At least when the focus is in topics of interest.

Making your partner look good could be a common practice, if and when conversation is about sharing complimentary opinions. Yet this idea is not about judgment - it's about building on ideas. Once we accept an idea - per the first rule - we then further it with our own idea. This creates a trusting relationship while complimenting the original idea, giving strength to the originator's value.

When these 2 rules are applied, the levels of entertainment, creativity and connection all escalate. It keeps energy fluent and momentous.

Going back to the first rule, if an idea is not accepted, energy stops. And this stops creativity. What soon happens is a battering of negative energy. Consider the difference in the two exchanges below.

A "Gotta love this rain."

B "No I don't."

vs.

A "Gotta love this rain."

B "Especially when these umbrellas keep popping up out of the ground."

What difference in allowing for creative flow, entertainment, charged focus when we accept the ideas given us!

Not about one-upping yet more about making good use of an originating idea. My ensemble often played the game, Yes, And... which tested their ability to keep the energy moving in a speedy structure. It became one of their favorites and complimented their approach to everyday conversation.

The places we go when we choose to accept ideas vs. question them gave my young improv group a space to build trusting, exploratory expression. And it gave audiences a chance to enter this safe, trusting space, in awe of the creative flow and applauding its outcome.

Randy Nelson, Dean of Pixar University speaks to the concept of applying Improv rules to Creativity in the work environment. (click on the title to see a video and text of his talk - Tips for Creative Success from Pixar). The wealth of progress we could accomplish in our everday professional life, our everyday personal life and our ability to connect with people could be endless, were we to apply these two rules of improv.

Consider accepting what is given to you. How would this apply to your professional circumstances, especially if you were to build on it vs. shut down? When we operate with the intention of making those around us look good, what is created?Test this out. You will see your improv skills tested, enjoyed and appreciated.

Being stuck

I've been reading up on what motivates people and have been reminded that the more people understand themselves, the better the chance they see the potential for change.

Many of us want to be told what to do, what to say, how to respond and why. Yet if we were to be honest, we may determine that we each have the answers within ourselves to create change. What we need are the exploratory questions.

Coaching is based on a relationship between two individuals who are willing to create learning from discovery. As a coach I know that to create a working relationship and useful discovery process, I must come ready to listen, to generate discovery through a series of key questions and remind the client what they have said is important to them.

Coaching is not about being told what to do, it is not about being judged. It is about being open to discovery, to growth and to moving out of a rut.

We all get stuck. That's a fact of life. Another fact of life is that we are designed to move - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. And this all begs the question,

Where do you usually get stuck?

Patterns is another fact of life. When we get stuck, we respond in any of 3 ways, based on our view of ourselves and the world. We avoid, we attack or we manage. Because we often get stuck, we fall into the same pattern of reacting, making it a habit.

If we choose to develop ways to manage instead of avoiding or attacking, we must sharpen our focus. See things about ourselves, about our circumstances, about those around us. Part of the managing is in gaining new perspective. That's where opening up enough to ask for help - to get coaching, to request accountability or to do some brainstorming - is key. Otherwise, we remain stuck.

How do you respond when you are stuck?

How is this response working for you?

From a Position of Strength

While superman hoists challenges above his head before flinging them out of the way, onlookers can see the effect on his armpits. Does that hold back Superman? No. Does that hold back the rest of us? Well, usually.

The American adage of "Never let them see you sweat" has gripped our collective psyche to the point that many well-equipped individuals avoid challenges.

I must confess, that has often been my stumbling block - fear of how others would view me or my actions when I step up to the challenge. During these challenging times I typically view my perspective from a position of weakness. Not a very appropriate view.

My body responds with butterflies, my face and ears redden and I feel the need to flee just when the universe has brought me an opportunity to demonstrate my value. Instead, I decline.

Looking at this from another perspective, I wish I could just flick some sense into my head. (Usually this comes after tipping a cold brew, yet sometimes it happens while at work, too!) The more I practice stepping up to the plate, facing my challenges with a strategy of using my gifts and talents, I am in the flow...similar to golfer Bagger Vance.




It's about seeing what's possible.  From that view, my strengths calm me, and then I move into action as though being divinely directed. I don't stand in my own way. Instead, I move forward. Coming from a position of strength.

Athletes understand this, as well as stage performers, musicians, wise sages and priests. Tapping into our inner strengths - our gifts - offers us a way to purposely move forward. We all have the potential.

Facing challenges today? Take'em on from a position of strength.