Separate Rote Learning from Meaningful Delivery

Yesterday's post, Meaningful vs. Rote Delivery, opened the idea that speakers often act unenthused.

Where does this come from?

One of the places it comes from is our habits with memorization. Many speakers practice for familiarity/memorization of their message and fall into rote memorization and delivery patterns.

In school we were taught mathematics patterns through flashcards, scientific theories through rote memorization and delivery. Spelling bees were another case for quick responses, minus the emotional delivery.

We were rewarded when we got it right, encouraged to speed up with the next response.

Each of these cases encouraged us to memorize answers. Although through repetition and song we created long-term learning (our ABC's, for example) for most of us, the rote memorization was to help us past short term learning exercises.

Yet when it comes to influencing people, rote memorization falls short. Quick, unenthusiastic delivery creates little engagement from the jury and the court, or from those listening to a sales pitch or sitting in  a classroom.

If your expertise is invested in subjects that required rote memorization, adjust your patterns when you need to influence. Learn through quick repetitive measures, yet when speaking about the information, slow down and attach meaning.

Meaningful vs. Rote Delivery

It's graduation season.

Recall the graduation ceremonies you have been to when you listened  to boring speakers. Because each ceremony easily has a dozen or more speakers at the podium, we really only have to consider the last ceremony we have attended that bored us.

It's because most speakers read their delivery AND/OR don't really care about what they are saying. Then someone stands up who cares, gives a meaningful delivery and that's when we pay attention.

Rote delivery is the speaking or memorizing of information when we care less about what we are saying. Either we aren't attached to the information, we are in a hurry or simply distracted. Rote delivery puts people to sleep, or at least sends listeners on a quick vacation.

Not so with meaningful delivery. When a speaker presents this way, they are enthused about what they have to say and who they are with.  They care.

Want people on a mental vacation when you are speaking? No? Then give them meaningful delivery. Audience members will nod, smile, get curious and really appreciate that you gave energy and enthusiasm to your message!

Are You Practiced or Engaging?

How is your delivery with the routine things you say? Practiced or engaging?

I used to be a BNI member when I was in business in Toledo.

The idea was each week we would have something different to say about ourselves and our work, opening the minds of those in the room to how they could remember us between meetings for referring business our way.

To get this result, we needed to work at our 60-second introduction.

What Your Audiences Fear

When I first started speaking in front of attorneys, I feared they would not value topics in communication.

Why? I didn't relate to their world. Their training, their intelligence, their experiences all seemed a world apart from mine. Could I position the value I experience in such a way as to relate to them? If not, I would be wasting their time.

Fortunately I quickly learned several ways to relate to attorneys, and therefore, I learned how to NOT waste their time.

The number one fear of our very important listeners is we will waste their time.

Resources of note

In the past I have blogged about books that have supported my coaching business - see this. Today my focus is on videos that has expanded my thinking of presentations - how to present, effective deliveries, and great topics. For this, I turn to a few TED talks.

Drop an Anchor

There's a pretty quick way to lose an audience. And that's with mindless wandering. Many of us introverts have a habit of moving while we pull our thoughts into view, looking at nothing in particular in the room while searching the dark recesses of our brains. Extroverts are full of energy - for them movement is large, fast and continual.

For a short time, either of these things is okay. It's an interesting view, from the audience's perspective. But make it a part of your routine, and it gets monotonous.

Try dropping an anchor - you pull the audience right in.

Presenting Well: The case for rehearsal

Tonight my band, No Excuses, is rehearsing for several hours before playing 2 gigs this weekend. I'm a bit nervous about the gig on Sunday, because we have only been rehearsing for Saturday's performance. Since Sunday's is twice as long, we'll no doubt use about 3 hours or so to focus on Sunday's gig before we polish up for tomorrow's. Then I can breath better and sleep well.

If you are about to present a case to a jury, an informational topic to prospects or open an event for your community, it takes practice. This is not a mental review, reading over a script. This is an on-your-feet, outloud rehearsal, complete with movement, projection, eye contact and high energy. In front of others.

The Power of UMHH.....

The spoken word is quite powerful. This has been exemplified since the time of creation - "And God said, 'Let it be' and it was. And it was good." Ever since the beginning of time we people have understood the power behind what comes out of the mouth.

Even when what comes out of our mouth isn't words - but gutteral sounds. Like "wha?", "huh?", "Ooooooh", and "umhh". Each suggests emotional response that, left unguarded and unmanaged, defy our ability to appear honest. These expressions fall out of our mouths and lend transparency to our feelings, even (and especially) at those times we seek to express the opposite.

Imagine a board room setting with major players around the table facing a solitary intruder in their space - the sales professional. Although intent on getting agreement, this sales professional has little confidence and feels out of their league. When asked to share the sales pitch, the individual stammers, "umhh" between every phrase, fighting for solid footing yet sensing only disinterest, distrust and denial from those who may actually need the product/solution yet won't agree to it. Why? UMHH has a powerful impact on listeners.

That solitary word spills out "lack of confidence". It signals emotional overwhelm, lack of preparation, inarticulate expression and therefore propels an immediate action of CLOSED listening. The more the speaker works to create trust and interest on the part of the listeners, the more the listener confirms the attitude of unwillingness to pay further attention.

Ever used the word? If so, notice the times. Perhaps your time was when you were called on the carpet for an action less-than becoming. Maybe you were guilty. Maybe you were ambushed. What first came to mind was, "Uh oh, I'm in trouble."

Maybe the time was when you were in front of a group, nervous about speaking, nervous about saying the right thing, or nervous that you don't look good enough. It's usually self-doubt moments that lead us to use the word.

Eradicate UMHH. It is a killer, and a powerful one. It stops the results you are after by inspiring listeners to not give you an opportunity. It damages your reputation, creates conflict and destroys credibility. There is too much power in that one little word that will lead to damage you don't want.

You can eliminate these outcomes simply, but not easily. This is a habit that's hard to break, but guess what? You want to break it. The first step is the hardest in this case. Instead of opening your mouth at those critical times, keep it closed. That's it. Just keep your mouth closed. Maybe it's time to continue listening. Definitely it's time to check your attitude.

Curtain's Up in the Courtroom!

When I was in college studying communications and theatre in the late 70's/early 80's, I learned that law students were required to take theatre or drama classes. I don't know whether all law schools had this in their requirements, but I didn't care. What mattered to me was that attorneys had to develop some discipline. It made sense to me. Rather like Mark Antony, litigators are performers who must influence their audience (judge or jury)to take action, despite the Brutus's around.

The best understand that the script - message - is the least important piece of the experience. Most actors would tell you that the least enjoyable comment they could receive from an admiring audience member is, "How did you remember all those words?"
Instead, it has to do with moving the hearts and minds, especially into action.

Although it must be carefully focused, the attorney's message/script is only as important as the messenger. Yes, the facts must support the intention. However, without a connection to the listeners, a delivery that engages and a mindset focused on what's important, the message is lost.

Careful preparation, repetition and ownership contribute to the attorney's presence. But what tools and strategies support these actions? If the attorney is working on their own without the benefit of having any theatre training and keeping up with that craft, their focus goes simply to the message. This forces attention on only two things: facts and competition. Discovery, research, interviews, exhibits are the technical end. Relying on them to be the means to the end is short-sighted.

It's like an actor showing up with the right props, the right lines, at the right time in the chronological order of the storyline yet failing to listen, to react, or to breathe. The producer might as well print the entire script in the program.

The good news is, attorneys make a difference to juries when they take their time to connect, to deliver something memorable and clear and to stay focused on what's important. This comes from reviewing the artistic elements of courtroom presence. Practicing, committing to becoming effective, all on behalf of the client who needs their legal counselor to make a performance of their lifetime. Because of the impact on them, the client.

Clients want to know that when curtain's up in the courtroom, the butterflies they and their attorneys are experiencing is from excitement about their preparation which works into energy needed for them to stand and deliver.

What you See is What you Get

This year one of the areas of focus I have made a commitment to is in hearing public servants speak. You can tell a lot from a person's presentation.

Forget the fact that often these people are trying to appear "off-the-cuff" by using teleprompters. It may appear they are often looking at any of us, yet if we are standing in the line of focus between the podium and the teleprompter, we may momentarily think they not only are looking at us - they keep coming back to us as well!

Can you see the teleprompter posts? If so, what you see is what you get. The speaker is focusing where the message is, not where the audience is. And there is little connection they are making to the audience as a result. Forget the fact that teleprompters are designed to lend the feeling of strong audience connection. It doesn't happen. The speaker is too focused on staying on top of the message to take time to make eye contact.

It may appear they have their message committed to memory, yet they are completely dependent on the script showing up in two sight lines, one on the right and one on the left, allowing them to span the audience continually. The message may be familiar to them, yet it isn't solid.

No matter how much they review that message, as long as it is presented in front of them, they will seek it. And this doesn't give them comfort. It gives them great pain. It is unnatural. It doesn't allow them to have necessary pauses, to look away momentarily, to be enlightened by a sudden thought. The pain of the teleprompting is the technical team controls the pace of the speaker by controlling the pace of the script.

What happens to the speaker is transparent. Unnatural restriction of emotion overwhelms them. When smiles, frowns, joy, frustration, admiration or other emotion could naturally support the speaker's words, there is a blank face. Blank, because the speaker doesn't allow life to enter the moment. Blank, because there is little heartfelt sensibility going on. Blank, because the pacing disallows emotional engagement.

Instead, redness out of embarrassment, out of stress or pressure to stay "on" in a rhythmic, vocal way, redness overtakes the speaker's face and nervousness becomes their mode of operation.

This is a very transparent experience. The speaker appears befuddled, or overwhelmed, or unsure or lacking commitment. The speaker seems unprofessional as a result.

What you see is a speaker reading a monitor, disconnected to their passion behind the message. They are following the teleprompter vs. leading the audience towards influence. Turn off the teleprompter! If the speaker is making a commitment to their message, prove it. Study it, practice it, become it and present it. Otherwise, the speech is no longer important. Only watching the speaker try to keep up is important. Only watching whether they are connected to their own message is important. Only watching to see whether they will look anyone in the eyes while speaking words from their heart is important.

What you SEE is what you get.

Come on, You can finish that sentence....

Ever meet with someone who, when talking, can't seem to finish what they are saying? Although this may occassionally happen to anyone, it is not the usual style of the majority of the population. But when it happens to someone continually, I get frustrated.

There are those who shift gears mid-sentence, not only once, but multiple times. This disrupts the flow of the conversation. Although it keeps the listener alert, it eventually forces the listener to give up on understanding what the speaker is trying to say. No doubt the speaker is just as frustrated, unless it's a habit.

When I am the listener, I want to get to the end of the sentence. It's like driving to my destination. I may enjoy the ride, but when it comes right down to it, I want to get there.

From my days in theatre I recall the actors who struggle when finally off-book. Not allowed to look at their script, they must rehearse what they know and ask for what they don't know. Yet almost 100% of us don't want prompting. We want to get there on our own. How frustrating it is for the rest of the group waiting for the right words to finally fall out of their mouth! Yet they just fall short.



We try to help out, mouth the next part, point to a clue or just say it. All the while thinking, "Come on, you can finish this." or "Didn't you prepare?"

When a slow speaker or responder is in action in a business environment, we question either their intelligence or their credibility. We assume they're making things up as they go along. The same in a personal or social environment. No doubt any of us can be stumped by a question here or there, yet slow, deliberate speakers communicate discomfort.

Compound the scenario with a short lesson on Communication Style.



Both the D's and the I's in the above visual are fast talkers. Although either of them may stumble when mixing words or ideas, the listeners aren't getting uncomfortable with a slow speed. The C's and S's may, on the other hand, be much more methodical. Their slower, cautious pace will be a hindrance to the other two styles. But for themselves, they will seldom feel discomfort with slow pace.

Stuttering or stammering, which isn't accounted for in the above diagramn, is a product of an internal miscue. Not a pacing issue, it is addressed only through professional help. Pacing issues can be addressed through awareness, practice and focus.

If pieces of the message are slowing you down, it's about understanding it and creating your own version. When the symptom is in the delivery, attention to style while practicing a new rhythm is important. With a speech or communication coach, this problem is addressed within a few months for those who regularly commit to it.

There is power in our message, yet it can be undervalued by our delivery. These pieces, though related, provide separate opportunities for us to develop into a very influential communicator. When this happens, people sit on the edge of their seats not to finish our sentences, but to get every word. That's the outcome we want.

Short Term Sacrifice

Do you love what you do?

When you love what you do, you are willing to do things others may not understand. You are willing to constantly update, upgrade, research and network. You are willing to sacrifice what others see as "fun" and substitute what your time is best spent on.

TV watching, Facebooking, yard work or shopping may all be put aside for other things like reading, reviewing, re-working or reaching for that next level of using your skills and gifts.

What does it take to get what you want?

Nobody has all the answers. What we have is a desire. My desire is to create peace for others while helping them speak with confidence. Those who want this peace are like me. They are introverts. They usually lack confidence while they prefer staying isolated. Yet when they are attorneys or running for political office, they have a conflicting need - influence people to either engage their services or to vote or financially support their campaign.

The only way I can accomplish my goal of supporting the introvert is to be out there, out on a limb. To do this I get to attend evening, morning, noon or other networking events. I get to present to groups. I get to write, speak, create programs and develop quality service for those who overlook their own value.

What am I sacrificing? I consciously decide whether to spend on self vs. spending for others. I consciously question how to take care of self so I can be there for others. My activities - answering my phone, responding to emails, keeping up with Facebook - have gone by the wayside. I am sacrificing "immediacy" for planned, scheduled time to connect with others.

I am sacrificing having a home full of valuable things. I live in a 1300 square foot loft with a very small storage space. My wardrobe, my pantry and my entertainment practices look dismally small and inconsequential. That isn't valuable to me, for it won't do anything for those I'm most committed to.

What I'm gaining is an appreciation for helping people. And that resonates with a supportive following. Short term sacrifice may feel like you're putting yourself out on a limb. Because you are. Yet it's a limb of beauty that won't break.

Is Communication Coaching for me?

Most people have no idea what to expect from a communication coaching experience. Some wonder whether it's for those who are required to speak in front of groups, or whether it's for leaders, let alone for those who want to improve relationships, focus or a better understanding of themselves.



Consider the following questions and how you may respond to discover whether communication coaching will break down those barriers you want broken down:


1 When you are scheduled to speak to a group, are you at a loss as to how to prepare?

2 Has your speaking fear grown into speaking anxiety no matter what the environment or event is?

3 Is your challenge in how to handle "off-the-cuff" responses?

4 Do you sense that you need to simplify your technical information? Do you want to learn how to edit your material - when everything seems important?

5 Is influencing others, especially key people, your challenge?

6 Do you want to learn how to easily adjust and adapt to feedback?

7 Do you want to be wiser about how you impact people so you can tweak habits accordingly?

8 Do you need to learn how to condense a talk when your time is cut short?

9 Want to learn how to handle tough conversations?

10 Want to manage the voice in your head?

11 Have others asked you to slow down or speak louder?

12 Would you like to be one of those people who walk into any room with presence and confidence?


These are the most common questions clients have that bring them to coaching. If three or more of these relate to you, then you are ready to ask for help, to create a breakthrough for yourself and to generate behaviors that lead to confidence whether in handling tough conversations, presentations, that voice in your head or the relationships around you.

And when you take action around coaching, you are in the top 10% of individuals who actually follow through with what they most desire. Congratulations!

Email Merri at merri@bdbcommunication. We can get started right away.