It's Okay to Get Feedback

Several of my clients as well as many in my network are on the speaking "circuit". Whether they are the thought-leaders in their industry or just commonly called on to provide entertaining and informative content, they regularly get on a platform (webinar, panel discussion, presenter, workshop leader) to present content.

One of the ways I have been serving my community is by requesting a chance to observe them. I get new stories for my presentation coaching, I gain respect and admiration for their styles and I put myself in the position to affirm and support them.

In most of these cases I am observing introverts. Is there a reason they respond more willingly? I don't know. I do know they want me in their audiences because they usually want to continue speaking and desire development tips.

Regardless of whether they are introvert or extrovert, it's obvious they want to distinguish themselves from the rest.

Times I have been told to observe folks who didn't solicit it themselves, I have had some pushback. Unless they are really good speakers already. Those who pursue speaking are quick to introduce me as their speaking coach. Those who don't appreciate my attendance tend to create distance from me or not let on to others what my expertise is.

It is okay to seek feedback. Especially when you know you will get better, but beyond that, when you know not only will you learn something, you will be affirmed as well.

Here's a challenge for you:

Before your next talk, seek feedback. Find someone (or a small group of someones) willing to listen and observe. Ask them what they liked and what they suggest. You will gain, immeasureably. You will be affirmed, inspired and motivated.

It's okay to get feedback.

Turn the fuzzy into the clear

I remember the days we were all crammed into the auditorium for school levy campaign meetings. The superintendent stood near the overhead projector as he switched out one graphic for another. Did he think we all understood the tax language he used or saw what the graphics were pointing out?

"So hear we have a graphic of how the new tax levy we are seeking will affect us. I know you can't really read it, so I will point out what it says." And on the superintendent went to explain every column, every row and every detail of the complicated graphic displayed in front of us, while we squinted, we rubbed our eyes and we nodded off. Words skipped in and out of my recognition, leaving me wondering after 20 minutes of his speaking at us, what he had said.

I walked away more perplexed than when I walked in. I hadn't a clue how to explain what I had just heard.

"Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people." William Butler Yeats

How often do we confuse audiences? We assume they know what we are saying, yet we speak the jargon of our industry instead of the language of the people?

As you organize your ideas for a talk, keep in mind a few techniques:

1.  Compare the strange with the familiar. If your audience is unfamiliar with the concept you are addressing, compare it to something in their world so they get a sense of your idea.
2. Turn your fact into a picture. Instead of simply stating how large a state is, compare it in size to the state of your listeners (3 times the size of Ohio; it's like Ohio, Indiana, Michigan and Kentucky all put together)
3. Avoid technical terms. Put all language into the least educated listener's language. Or if teaching a term, take the time to do points 1 and 2.
4. Use visual aides. First, if your language requires teaching, show how the word or phrase is spelled. Secondly, make comparisons and pictures through your language or through graphics or by demonstration. And be sure the graphics are simple, clear and easy to see.

Clarity is the key to communication. If it's information we are trying to share, we must speak in terms the listener understands, otherwise they will not be informed. Help them walk away knowing how to explain what they just heard.

Kids Know What Matters

"Why?"

One of the hardest questions to answer is the most important one to consider when we are selling, influencing and speaking.

When making the short talk to get action, as Dale Carnegie puts it, the final step in the process is to
share the reason.

Kids know this helps them weigh the value of the action. And so do we adults. If we know the value of an action, and we have good reason to influence the action, then we need to share the why.

Performance Reviews - they are worth a speaker's time

Thanks to a class I am taking through the National Speaker Association, I have returned to the practice of asking for feedback at the conclusion of each of my presentations. NSA highly suggests using a form of evaluation, suggesting we speakers craft our own form with the intent to get specific feedback beyond a rating or checklist.

Usually I know the tone these evaluations will take by the time I am 2-3 minutes into my presentation, let alone by the time I close. What I don't know is the specifics. And that's what matters. Sure, evaluations can affirm our sense of value, yet they can also offer insight with suggestions designed to encourage and expand our ideas.

Fun Quotes on Speaking

Because it's fun to have a good quip or two when the time arises, here are a few comical quotes on public speaking I found from a few sources:

"Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening."

— Dorothy Sarnoff

"Speak when you are angry—and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."

— Laurence J. Peter

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

— George Jessel

Above all found at The Grinning Planet

A few more...

"When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't speak for a year and a half" - Gracie Allen

"Before God, we are all equally wise - and equally foolish" - Albert Einstein

found at Public Speaking Solutions

And let me end with:

Q: What would you call Sir Lancelot if he lost his voice?
A. Silent Night

Some people are considered fools.
Some people speak and remove all doubt.
take from AskMetaFilter

Hope you enjoyed this fun diversion! Happy Thursday.