The Power of Referral

Most small business owners and business developers understand the power of getting referrals of business. On the flip side, there is even more power in referring business to others.

A community service that works - securely

If you're in professional services, you can mix recycling your computers with creating community good will. Although many of us are concerned about personal information getting into the wrong hands, the risk/responsibility increases with client data stored on our hard drives. When we replace our hardware every 3-4 years, we must be cautious. Thank goodness Columbus has a place we needn't be concerned about data security.

The Community Computer Alliance, started by Dan Hurst, bridges the gap between technology and community. This non-profit organization recycles all computer hardward, softward and accessories. With the mission making technology available to the community that needs it most,  CCA takes your old computers and components and refurbishes them, then donates computers to low income families, disabled individuals and senior citizens.

Cordell Parvin and Attorney Credibility

I notice today's blog post for attorneys from Cordell Parvin speaks to why credibility matters. He does a nice job of concisely spelling out what it takes to be perceived as credible. Check out the link below to read it for yourself.

http://www.cordellblog.com/client-development/what-is-credibility-and-why-does-it-matter/

Now I will take a stab at answering

Why does credibility matter?

The Power of UMHH.....

The spoken word is quite powerful. This has been exemplified since the time of creation - "And God said, 'Let it be' and it was. And it was good." Ever since the beginning of time we people have understood the power behind what comes out of the mouth.

Even when what comes out of our mouth isn't words - but gutteral sounds. Like "wha?", "huh?", "Ooooooh", and "umhh". Each suggests emotional response that, left unguarded and unmanaged, defy our ability to appear honest. These expressions fall out of our mouths and lend transparency to our feelings, even (and especially) at those times we seek to express the opposite.

Imagine a board room setting with major players around the table facing a solitary intruder in their space - the sales professional. Although intent on getting agreement, this sales professional has little confidence and feels out of their league. When asked to share the sales pitch, the individual stammers, "umhh" between every phrase, fighting for solid footing yet sensing only disinterest, distrust and denial from those who may actually need the product/solution yet won't agree to it. Why? UMHH has a powerful impact on listeners.

That solitary word spills out "lack of confidence". It signals emotional overwhelm, lack of preparation, inarticulate expression and therefore propels an immediate action of CLOSED listening. The more the speaker works to create trust and interest on the part of the listeners, the more the listener confirms the attitude of unwillingness to pay further attention.

Ever used the word? If so, notice the times. Perhaps your time was when you were called on the carpet for an action less-than becoming. Maybe you were guilty. Maybe you were ambushed. What first came to mind was, "Uh oh, I'm in trouble."

Maybe the time was when you were in front of a group, nervous about speaking, nervous about saying the right thing, or nervous that you don't look good enough. It's usually self-doubt moments that lead us to use the word.

Eradicate UMHH. It is a killer, and a powerful one. It stops the results you are after by inspiring listeners to not give you an opportunity. It damages your reputation, creates conflict and destroys credibility. There is too much power in that one little word that will lead to damage you don't want.

You can eliminate these outcomes simply, but not easily. This is a habit that's hard to break, but guess what? You want to break it. The first step is the hardest in this case. Instead of opening your mouth at those critical times, keep it closed. That's it. Just keep your mouth closed. Maybe it's time to continue listening. Definitely it's time to check your attitude.

What it takes to be a tree

Yesterday I read a tweet from the author of Be a Tree, a presentation pointer. Wonderful advice about how to come across as though you stand for something. Here is some of what he said:

Stand still as a presenter. Get your weight on both feet. Balance yourself. Do not stick one hip out like a pop singer. Instead, be the tree. But do not sway. Stand as if you are guarding something sacred, as if you stand for something important. Then, after holding this position for a reasonable time, move to another spot and stand still again. Stillness and movement is very near the crux of any performance art.

Sorry, somehow I lost the author of the post. Yet with my background in theatre and my current focus in presentation, I applaud how he illustrates the quality.

One of my clients has experienced the difference between waffling around ideas and how to express them and in being solid and practiced in her ideas, language and movement. She feels an incredible boost in confidence as she stands with purpose, sharing an idea and its illustration, then moving into her next point, ending with purpose on a thought.

I recall the time I was auditioning for a role that many contemporary actors would call an "actor's dream" part. The Guys was Harvest Theatre's new focus in 2006, the 5th year anniversary of the tragedy on Twin Towers and the many engulfed in fatalities. The show features the captain of the fireman unit that lost all their lives during the rescue attempt. Also filling out the cast is the journalist he partnered with to write all the eulogies he would have to deliver.

The journalist role is meaty - rich, dramatic, funny and real. During auditions I had a wealth of experiences to call on as I stood in front of the casting committee. Unfortunately, I didn't simply stand. When many of us are before a group and not hiding behind a podium or desk, we tend to fidget or pace or gesticulate like crazy. That's what I was doing. And in that process, my voice was loosing control. Not to say that I was screaming - instead I was underselling the script because my body was overselling it.

The director said to me, "Let's try this again. Stand solidly, without movement and take it again." Immediately I understood. In my second attempt I got connected to the monologue. The words had depth, the moment had meaning and I got control back. It worked - for I not only ended up with the part. The performances were rich and true. We learned how to move as well as how to stand and deliver. We were trees.

It takes a few simple things to be a tree:
focus, energy and trust

Certainly with focus we understand the "through-line" of our message. We know the set-up, the connection to the audience and the end result. This doesn't come to us immediately. It takes time to play around with the message enough to clarify where we're going. Then the delivery requires feedback, or at least the observance of people's feedback. Focus is the first step in becoming a tree.

Doesn't it sound odd that it also takes energy? Well it does. One cannot hold themselves solidly without breathing deeply and often. Mental alertness is jazzed with energy. Similar to singing and holding a note, the ability to hold a stance is "rooted" in the energy it takes to stay solid. Mentally we must pump up ourselves for the effort. Relax and the tree-like properties sag.

Amateur speakers seem to believe they are hampered by not trusting the audience's reactions to them. It's actually just the opposite. Those we must trust when speaking or performing is ourselves. We can handle it. We can still ourselves in the moment and create an engaging connection. When the other two properties are mastered (focus and energy), trust is a ready quality.

Tough times require being a tree. Whether on the phone with a customer, whether talking in front of a group or whether performing a rehearsed production, plan and practice focus, energy and trust. Prepare to be a tree.

Success Story: Results from a very targeted focus

17 months ago I moved to a new city. Although business still happens in my previous city - where my network is strong and the need continues - in the new I needed to get very strategic about business development.

I am a networker, realizing the value of relationship and referrals for my service-focused communication coaching business. A sole proprietor, I must ask for help from my network to generate word-of-mouth buzz and uncover needs through referral. With this help, I can spend a portion of my week prospecting/networking/marketing, another portion in client-focused time, some portion on administrative tasks and yet another on research/development. Sole proprietors know the need to make good use of our time as well as to diversify our activity to cover the priority bases.

So when it comes to networking in a new location to quickly develop relationships that lead to referral, I need a strategy. From my training with the Certified Networker program, I understand that entering a new area where I had no network posed not only a challenge, but an opportunity.

There are some key steps I use in my networking strategy that hold me accountable and focused, giving me powerful results today. I help attorneys speak with confidence, whether they are networking, working within their firm environment, business building or in the courtroom. I have spoken at 2 attorney professional associations, in sub-groups within the local bar association, within several firms for luncheon meetings. I coach several as individuals and now operate as a coach within firms. All this in the space of 17 months' focus.

My success is built around a strategy. Because it takes trial and error, some of the steps within the strategy have a less structured and some a more structured approach. Regardless, these 3 steps were vital to me.

Strategy for Developing a Business Network
1. Select a target market. With this selection, I hone a focus. Eventhough my services can apply to all industries, I can't become an expert for all industries. Nor can I create a word-of-mouth buzz in all industries. I must select one. For me this was attorneys. Like me, the majority of them are introverts. Introverts suffer the most from insecurity, especially when taking a risk. Speaking in public, let alone to those unlike us often challenge us into avoidance. With attorneys I can be an expert.

2. Select methods of networking with the target market Notice this is not about "reaching" them. This is about "connecting" with them. Reaching can be through online presence, direct mail material, email marketing programs. But connecting, actually having a face-to-face experience, is required for reaching my select market. Here is where both social media and traditional networking combine for a powerful impact.

My previous contacts in my Linked-In network were a huge resource to me. Searching their contacts in my new location, I discovered several who could intercede on my behalf simply so I could start face-to-face networking without making a cold call. When I asked them for assistance, they delivered. Prior to moving here, I had 2 months of meetings lined up.

While meeting face to face, I had a list of referral requests - not for business but for assistance. They didn't know me at all, so I knew my requests needed to be general. For instance,
a. "where do you network?"
b. "would you be willing to invite me to join you next time?"
c. "what do you know about the (target market) industry?"
d. if applicable, "where do they network?"

Once I gained exposure to networking events/options/environments, I broadened my time spent exploring. I would eventually (for me, a year) determine which environments or events to commit to. For now, I was learning/trying out what worked for me.

3. Decide who to maintain a continual follow-up with. Not all individuals I meet with will be a constant appointment. Not even most of them. One appt tells me whether there is value in friendship, target market, information/expertise, etc. If the value exists, another meeting is scheduled before I leave. If it doesn't, no need to reschedule.

My attorney-coaching practice grew as a result of three key things: Giving public speeches (number one business builder), building trusting relationships through networking, and getting referrals.

3 attorneys I met with as a result of seeing them on LinkedIn, lobbied their professional organizations for my opportunity to speak in front of them. Some of them seriously connected me within their industry to firms and/or key individuals. This came as a result of following up with them regularly - they became my referral partners.

Through networking I developed fun, energetic and serious relationships with another handful of people who either began using me as their coach or referring me to others.

In time I learned where to network, who to keep on my calendar and how to hone services especially for my target market. This continues to give me "buzz" in the attorney industry as the Go-To person for helping them develop confidence whether through their speaking or their relationship-building.

The key here, for those of us needing to build our own business, is to have a strategy. Although networking all over the place can be important just to get started, it isn't the rule of thumb. When we network all over the place, we put priorities all over the place. Which actually means - we have no priorities. We don't specialize in groups of people, we specialize in ourselves. We serve no industry, we serve only ourselves. And ultimately, we serve only ourselves by squandering all our time.

Let me know in what ways this strategy serves your target market.

For Business Building - 1 single activity is all it takes

For the business owner and those managing the pipeline for the next sale, there is a single activity to exploit. And I mean exploit in the best way. Do it again and again and again. Often. With zeal.

Many think it's about picking up the phone. Although many salesfolks get appointments this way, it takes tremendous time while depleting the energy of the person hearing the phone incessantly ring and go to voicemail, or getting the not so interested responses.

Using direct mail gets the message out, but where? Most commonly, to the closest dumpster or trash container.

Networking events are great. They allow us to mingle and meet new folks, exchange business cards, yet the audience may not be receptive due to one thing. So far, they don't know us.

The number one thing that boosts business for any business owner or sales person is public speaking. Public speaking gives us the chance to start a relationship. It gives us a chance to offer some free information and tips and it gives us a chance to handle questions of interest all without threat. Public speaking puts us in front of many indviduals(and can lead to many groups) who generally already have an interest in our message - unlike the gatekeeper, mail sorter or networker who is out to drink with the buds.

Sure, public speaking is the most common fear the public faces. But many who fear heights, bungy jump. Many who fear death, aggressively seek adventure. Those who fear public humiliation face their fears and speak often in public. And what does it get them? Confidence. Recognition. Attention. Credibility. Interest. Curiousity. An audience. A following. Trust. Business.

Got business to develop? Start facing the fear of the meager pipeline by facing what it takes to get in front of the audience. Let that pipeline challenge drive you to the #1 activity. Get ready, get up, move forward in front of the audience and get speaking!

Improv rules for everyday application

In my earlier career of teaching, I developed an Improv ensemble in my school system who were admirably received from the community.

The scads of improv exercises and techniques these kids explored and developed through were huge tools for keeping their skills in check - and offered them great fun!

Yet there were two simple rules that held the great improv member apart from those simply there to "have fun":

1. Accept what is given to you.
2. Make your partner look good.

These aren't easy practices to follow, based on the general public's philosophy in life - generally around competing. Especially for teens and young adults, the idea of accepting vs. questioning/attacking is foreign. At least when the focus is in topics of interest.

Making your partner look good could be a common practice, if and when conversation is about sharing complimentary opinions. Yet this idea is not about judgment - it's about building on ideas. Once we accept an idea - per the first rule - we then further it with our own idea. This creates a trusting relationship while complimenting the original idea, giving strength to the originator's value.

When these 2 rules are applied, the levels of entertainment, creativity and connection all escalate. It keeps energy fluent and momentous.

Going back to the first rule, if an idea is not accepted, energy stops. And this stops creativity. What soon happens is a battering of negative energy. Consider the difference in the two exchanges below.

A "Gotta love this rain."

B "No I don't."

vs.

A "Gotta love this rain."

B "Especially when these umbrellas keep popping up out of the ground."

What difference in allowing for creative flow, entertainment, charged focus when we accept the ideas given us!

Not about one-upping yet more about making good use of an originating idea. My ensemble often played the game, Yes, And... which tested their ability to keep the energy moving in a speedy structure. It became one of their favorites and complimented their approach to everyday conversation.

The places we go when we choose to accept ideas vs. question them gave my young improv group a space to build trusting, exploratory expression. And it gave audiences a chance to enter this safe, trusting space, in awe of the creative flow and applauding its outcome.

Randy Nelson, Dean of Pixar University speaks to the concept of applying Improv rules to Creativity in the work environment. (click on the title to see a video and text of his talk - Tips for Creative Success from Pixar). The wealth of progress we could accomplish in our everday professional life, our everyday personal life and our ability to connect with people could be endless, were we to apply these two rules of improv.

Consider accepting what is given to you. How would this apply to your professional circumstances, especially if you were to build on it vs. shut down? When we operate with the intention of making those around us look good, what is created?Test this out. You will see your improv skills tested, enjoyed and appreciated.

The most valuable form of recognition - Communication

Over the weekend I spent quality time with friends, one I hadn't seen in years. When it comes to reconnecting with people, my first thought is, "gee, what will they think of me now?" And so as we were getting re-aquainted, it was so fun to watch the looks of surprise and discover the number of times we thought alike about our experiences.

What I didn't anticipate in this meeting with my dear friend from the past (high school!) was her sharing what she always admired about me. Gosh, such an added bonus to learn those private viewpoints, now, a good 30 years later. It just stands to reason that when we're with friends, we want to know their thoughts, as well as the impact we are making.

We humans naturally take similar thought processes with us to other life circles. On the job, this "I wonder what they will think of me?" shows up in a slightly altered way. Basically, it affects the topics of communication we treasure from those around us.

There are 3 key topics of conversation employees value:

1. Employees value getting information about their job
2. They value getting information about their performance
3. They value getting information about how the company is doing

When our boss is clear about their expectations of us, this gives us a baseline to follow. Additionally, the more they share about the mission of the dept/company, about the values represented and strategies used to approach them, the further along we are in being oriented into the history and everyday production.

Speaking to these things is one thing. What really communicates is actions. My first boss when I was a high school teacher was a principal who carried smiles on his face, words of positive encouragment and letters of praise. He loved the teaching staff and proved it through his actions. He had a quick sense of humor vs. a quick sense of rage. He was at ease with the women as well as with the men, showing his progressive leadership style vs. the "good 'ole boy" manager. Ron was a quality leader - one who communicated his values through his actions.

Words, actions and then a variety of visual aids supplement what is important to us. On his office walls hung pictures of his family, motivational sayings and pictures of his staff. When we walked into his office, we felt at home. We only had to look at his walls and we saw what he thought of our performance. Yes, we all want to know not only what we SHOULD do, but how well we are doing. Ron was quick to inform us through specific conversations, through words of praise, through observation of special moments and through debriefing after challenging times. We got this information in multiples - and that makes a difference.

Not only did Ron care enough to let us know how we were doing, he cared enough to let us know how the school district was doing. This impacted our focus on future goals, on budgets for our school activities and accounts and it helped us understand the day-to-day priorities. Being kept in the loop contributed to his staff's trust of him - and it showed that he trusted us as well.

Ron didn't have the resources to give us monetary recognition in a sizeable way, yet it wasn't necessary. He gave us what was most important - trusted communication.

Since then I have learned that leaders who listen are leaders who when speaking, will have the full attention of their audience. Their willingness to be quiet, to really tune into those around them, to enter a space in order to observe vs. in order to be observed, is the sign of a quality individual. They develop curiousity. They attract notice and they make an impact. If there is anything listening is second to, it's positive communication.

Positive communication sets the tone for the environment. Letters of appreciation, phone calls of support and face to face recognition are proof there has been an investment in office relationships. These leaders would be willing to call new hires at home prior to their first day as a sign of welcome and anticipation. They would share letters of praise from clients/customers/community about direct reports. They would encourage open or anonymous questions and guarantee responses.

Thinking, actions AND words create the space for an environment full of recognition. Evaluate where you are with your communication. Most of us have someone we can recognize who is deeply interested in our perspective. Who is that for you?

Someone's Out to Get Me

Lately I've been reading Nobel Prize-winning book, The Appointment, by Herta Muller, Romanian-born author who writes of characters living during the Romanian dictatorship.

A chilling tale of many flash-backs with well-written, poignant first-person narrative, the work echoes with characters living out of fear.



There is a time when the main character shares a horrifying discovery to her friend Lilli of a narrow package in her purse containing a human finger with a black nail. Through this she implied someone was out to get her.

Unmoved by the tale, Lilli retorts with a experience something along these lines: Once I bought a jar of pickles which I ate in 2 sittings. When I stuck my fork in the jar to pull out the last one, clinging to the fork was a dead mouse. Do you think someone was out to get me? No. Anyone could have bought that jar of pickles.

Lilli lived her life as though she had something to gain. Her friend was the opposite. Daily she saw the things she had to lose, suspecting folks around her while amplifying her own dismal circumstances.

Many of us today, in our own country, our own city, our own homes live life with Fear in the Driver's Seat. We hold ourselves back by focusing on the What If's. The look in our wild eyes or slanted, questioning visage tells the world our tale. Someone's out to get me.

It isn't that life has given us lemons as much as the fact that we chose to squeeze their stinging juice into already opened cuts while running away screaming. So of course we are confirming that someone's out to get us. It's us.

Anxious Movement

Steps in the hallway, around the coffee pot, outside for a smoke, into a cubicle for whispers. Anxious energy leads us further away from the most important tasks at hand.

I can't do this. It doesn't feel right. I'm not any good. Why me?

These comments leave our lips or infect our thinking and before we know it, the energy within us - digging away at our psyche - furrows deeper ruts into habits that make poor use of our resources. Time is squandered, emotions are drained and our useful energy has been wasted.

We all have energy within us to do whatever we have to do. It pumps our blood that fuels whatever level of physical, emotional and mental activity awaiting us. And just like so many natural resources today, we waste it.

Pacing, fidgeting, eating, drinking, fighting, peeling out of parking lots and shouting expletives. Unfocused energy which can no longer be contained, leaks out. Because our bodies must move. We must do. We have a natural flow that requires motion. When we resist, avoid, balk and hinder, we give our nervous system few choices in how to cope.

Is this the way to be? Sloshing, waving, in turbulence? Out of focus and uncontrolled, it's not a manageable existence. Step one of managing ourselves is determining what steps need to be taken. And you've guessed it, step two is taking them.

No more sloshing, avoidant behaviors. No more excuses. Take the steps. Enough said.