Merri's Tips - Part 7

43. Create SMART goals. You're a business owner, I presume, so identify goals that will help you build business. If they are SMART, they are specific, measureable, actionable, realistic and timely. Only then can you assess your progress and stay accountable to what you say you're going to do.

44. Constantly reach out to folks you already know in your industry and your network. Staying top of mind is tough unless you have good experiences with people. Make coffee dates, go for a walk around the building, do what it takes to stay in front of 8-10 or more folks each week.

3 Communication Areas for Lawyers to Develop

When people talk about communication  skills, they often find it difficult to categorize the information. So for the sake of organization, let's narrow the areas lawyers want to develop into 3 key categories:

1. Interpersonal communication skills
2. Intrapersonal communication skills
3. Public speaking skills

For most of the non-podium public, the first area of communication skills that comes to mind is the set that focuses externally on relationships around us - interpersonal communication skills. These skills assist with ease in conversation, attraction, trust-building as well as competence. One would think lawyers come by these skills easily.

However, 64% of lawyers are introverts - an attribute of their desire to research, to analyze, to write and to weigh the pros and cons. While these gifts are useful for crafting their argument and understanding the law, many areas of a lawyer's practice remains under-developed when they avoid developing their interpersonal skills.

Lawyers stumble over business development

Attorneys are notorious for staying behind the desk, in front of a computer, avoiding business development. Most are introverts, so they think they won't relate well and prefer not to appear "salesy" so they simply put information out in passive ways. This inactive behavior doesn't make the phone ring.

"We need to decide what our priorities are," says Cordell Parvin. When attorneys state it's most enjoyable to serve their clients, then they need to make sure they keep developing the pipeline.

Parvin insists new attorneys must first develop themselves. This includes their communication skills, their interpersonal (relationship and trust-building) as well as their intrapersonal (managing self) skills.

Communication Skill Barriers

Whether we are attorneys or not, we all have what it takes to communicate effectively. Either we were born with the skills or we learned (directly or indirectly) what it takes to develop relationships and influence. On the contrary, we all have what it takes to hold ourselves back from communicating well, whether in public speaking, interpersonal effectiveness or intrapersonal (self-talk) effectiveness. It's from this platform of barriers that we most often make judgements about our effectiveness. And often we feel ineffective. The good news is, we can break down those barriers.

Here are a few things to keep in mind regarding barriers.

Merri's Tips - Part 4

19. Take the edge off. Learn what works best for you - a cold beer, a shot of something stiffer, a good laugh, a massage, or just getting up and walking away. Telling yourself you can handle it without that just makes you edgier. We all need to take the edge off. Otherwise we treat others or ourselves in regretful ways.

20. Know what is worth saying YES to. Once we identify what is worth making a commitment to, we can then say NO to other things that get in the way.

21. Don't take things personally. But understand that others will. Especially kids. And kids who never grew up.

Personal Attraction Tips

Today I began reading Tim Sander's The L (Likeability) Factor, which has shaped my focus on all things attractive. In Sanders book he explains that prior to the printing of his book, little had been written on defining likeability or what attributes go into it.

There is no doubt in my mind that some people have much more power - whether charisma or other people-based attraction - to attract notice, to drive results as well as to stimulate relationship interest if they focus on their communication skills. From what I've experienced - mostly through others - I have come to the following conclusions about what helps us attract people to our lives, our cause or our thinking.

3 Ways to Make the Best Use of Time and Talents

 image by Karin Christensen -Scientific Animation & Illustration

As a communication skills and speech coach, I repeatedly see how professionals get held back by lack of focus. We are interrupted throughout our day by stop-ins, callers, email notices, text messages, Facebook updates, LinkedIn status/connection requests, noise and trips to the coffee pot. The one thing we are good at is turning our head. But at the end of the day, it makes us feel miserable. That which needs work is focus.