Challenging Expectations

It's no secret our country's general populice has had its share of controversy over gender equality. From ownership to responsibility, voting rights to income earned, civil debate continues over what is fair, equal and expected.

Whether this controversy originates from the religious platform or has seen its greater influence there, it becomes a test of wills to enter the conversation, conduct ones' self with poise through it and/or conclude with any degree of self-respect as a result.

My work with the attorney community brings this controversy back into view, even today. As I look to support individuals who wish to speak with confidence in the lawyer market, often I am led to supporting women. Is it because women are by nature less secure? I believe the answer is no. Is it because women attorneys face circumstances men may not face? Perhaps.

Interestingly, most of the attorneys who turn to my help are men. However, the issue of female attorneys facing challenges in the profession continue to be brought to my attention - even by males.

Merri, what programs can you offer us at the Supreme Court to support Women Attorneys?

A year ago this question was posed by a gentleman with a keen eye and interest in supporting female attorneys. At the time I was unaware of the challenges they face, the demographics of most firms, let alone I paid little attention to the history of the profession. Since then, I have marvelled at the journey of several FIRST women attorneys.



Bella Mansfield, influenced by both her brother and husband to study law, was the first female in the US to earn a law degree - the same year women were admitted to law school. Belle Mansfield (later, self-fashioned Arabella) passed the Iowa bar exam in 1868 and then, in 1869, she was called to the bar of the state, thus becoming the first woman ever called to practice law in the world; by some definitions, the world's first woman lawyer.

"We feel justified in recommending to the Court that construction which we deem authorized not only by the language of the law itself, but by the demands and necessities of the present time and occasion. Your Committee takes unusual pleasure in recommending the admission of Mrs. Mansfield, not only because she is the first lady who has applied for this authority in the State, but because in her examination she has given the very best rebuke possible to the imputation that ladies cannot qualify for the practice of law; and we feel confident from the intimation of the Court, given on the application made that we speak not only the sentiments of the Court and of your committee, but of the entire membership of the bar, when we say that we heartily welcome Mrs. Mansfield as one of our members, and we most cordially recommend her admission." See this website for more on Bella Mansfield: http://www.duhaime.org/lawmuseum/lawarticle-418/mansfield-belle-18461911.aspx

Although she never used her license, she entered the women's suffragette movement, stayed in academia and encouraged the promotion of women for their intellect as well as their intuition.

Many milestones have been accomplished in the female litigation world today.



"Claudia Gordon, Esq., is the first deaf lawyer who is African American and female, and also the first deaf student to graduate from the American University (AU) Washington College of Law, in Washington, DC, in 2000. At AU, Gordon specialized in disability rights law and policy. Since earning her juris doctorate from AU, Gordon has been active in working to ensure the rights of people with disabilities are respected." Thank you, Jamie Berke, About.com Guide,Updated May 04, 2009

Since many attorneys enter the political environment to become public servants, we also are familiar with Jennifer Grandholm, current governor of Michigan. A few firsts about her include,



She was elected Michigan's first female attorney general in 1998. Granholm was elected governor in 2002 and reelected in 2006 and was once considered a possible Supreme Court nominee.

So if female attorneys are making such progress today, are things getting any easier?

This morning I read an article written by attorney Heather McCloskey in 2006 who shares the challenges women attorneys face. Whether from judges, clients or opposing attorneys, there is still a rite of passage (as would be expected of any professional, let alone female) to be endured.

In my humble summary, it appears that if women are willing to defend their right to own a career, to stand in a firm or courtroom surrounded predominantly by men, to be referred to as a clerk vs. lead counsel and to be expected to wear skirts vs. slacks, they can continue to make progress. Pioneers can be women too, if these women are up to it. If they are, there will be deference to another style of communicating with clients who need it, they will continue to prove logical and reasonable thinking while also being intuitive, and there will be professionals who connect on very influential levels.

To all you female attorneys, speak with confidence. We need you.

Talk Back!

There is a prospect I'd love to get in front of who isn't returning my calls or responding to my emails. Eventhough he invited me to connect with him, he is being unresponsive.

This angers me, for I know his firm could be a huge opportunity for me and I could give him tremendous value, even beyond the few pressing needs he has.

In times like these, I set out to make a phone call, and then I back off. Or should I say, I used to. In the past that voice in my head would say to me, "Merri, he has his own plan. It doesn't include you. Drop it. You aren't what he wants." And I'd back off.

But today, I realize that I have often got in my own way, backing off way too soon. Sometimes the other individual simply had other things on their mind, things unrelated to me. Or maybe I communicated a lack of importance. Or maybe the individual was on vacation. Or maybe there was a temporary fix.

What I know now is, I will persist when it's important. And that means, talking back. Of course I won't talk back to the individual I want to get in front of. But I will talk back to myself. To the voice in my head. I will talk back to say, "No."

"You aren't forcing me to hold back any longer. That keeps me from being useful."

"Just because someone seems busy does not mean I am not important. If an alarm were to sound, they would drop what they are doing. So sound the alarm, if that's the intention."

Today I look at that voice in my head, then turn away while putting up my hand.

"Talk to the hand. I have more important things to do than listen to you."

Reflections from my research

I go with my gut when selecting books to read, so the one I'm now reading didn't come as a surprise. In selecting it, I assumed much of the content would contribute to my coaching effectiveness. While reading Tarek Saab's book, Gut Check, a book about Saab's transformative years as a young adult, I began reflecting on what I want to be known for:

I want to be present to those around me.
Currently, this happens sometimes. When I am enjoying, learning from, and engaged in someone's company, this is effortless. Otherwise, I must manage my desire to control where the conversation is going. When I focus on seeing myself in the eyes of others, this gets easier.

I want to be respectful of individuals. There is spirit and purpose which seeks to be identified within each of us. Unfortunately, the world distracts our focus from this in ourselves, motivating us to be distracted in seeing this in others.

I want to be accessible to those who need me and to those I need. Although I am an introvert, by contrast, I need others. And I know people need me. It's my goal to get out there in ways for accessibility to work.

If you would, reflect on what you want to be known for. Then, please, share.