Separate Rote Learning from Meaningful Delivery

Yesterday's post, Meaningful vs. Rote Delivery, opened the idea that speakers often act unenthused.

Where does this come from?

One of the places it comes from is our habits with memorization. Many speakers practice for familiarity/memorization of their message and fall into rote memorization and delivery patterns.

In school we were taught mathematics patterns through flashcards, scientific theories through rote memorization and delivery. Spelling bees were another case for quick responses, minus the emotional delivery.

We were rewarded when we got it right, encouraged to speed up with the next response.

Each of these cases encouraged us to memorize answers. Although through repetition and song we created long-term learning (our ABC's, for example) for most of us, the rote memorization was to help us past short term learning exercises.

Yet when it comes to influencing people, rote memorization falls short. Quick, unenthusiastic delivery creates little engagement from the jury and the court, or from those listening to a sales pitch or sitting in  a classroom.

If your expertise is invested in subjects that required rote memorization, adjust your patterns when you need to influence. Learn through quick repetitive measures, yet when speaking about the information, slow down and attach meaning.

Stand Up for Confidence

My mentor has me reading the book, Selling to VITO, the Very Important Top Officer by Anthony Parinello. Full of perspective on how to think, behave and speak like a top officer, Parinello echoes what I have heard others say about boosting your confidence level - stand up.

What Works for You?

One of my clients, Amy, recently revealed a hilarious, if not startling, mindshift. She is the same one who has proclaimed her distaste for selling.

"I now have started my prospecting, but I no longer see it that way."

Her serious demeaner showed a glimpse of a smirk coming through. Clearly, she was having fun.

"I now think of sales as nothing more than a dating relationship. So when it comes to prospecting, what I realize I'm doing is stalking. I love stalking. I am really getting into this sales thing now!"

Do you hate selling? Do what Amy does. Reframe your thinking by making it something you love.

Maybe you are more the researcher, perhaps the scientist. Discovery or experimentation would be the approach you'd take. Maybe you're the private investigator. If so, let your gumshoe tactics kick into gear.

Apply the activity you enjoy to your selling and you will find yourself in a different mindset, motivated. Just a friendly piece of advise.

Introverts can Go for the No, Plan for the Yes

In a Leadership for Life course, I was once given instruction to see how many times I could ask a question that could be answered by "No".

"Get 10 No's a day" was the recommendation. Really?? I hate it when people say NO!

Many thought this bizarre - why would we want to ask questions that seek a "no" response?

Aren't we better off playing toward the "yes"?

But I knew exactly where this was going - I could sense it based on who I am.

I hardly ever asked questions that could potentially get "no" answers. Those were too uncomfortable. My introverted experiences with getting "no" shut me down. Just thinking about this made these huge vibrations go off in my brain - "You can't handle NO!"

So when this course instructor said to get 10 no's a day, I realized that was the best advice I could get for stepping out of my comfort zone, eventhough I hated it.

I began asking silly things of waiters - "may I have more water?" soon was followed with "could we have more rolls, too?" "Would you please divide up our checks separately?" and sometimes, "could I get this reheated?"

As I asked these questions, I felt  more authority.

I asked the questions with a smile on my face. In my intent to get 10 no's, I was getting only yes's. I couldn't believe it.

Then the asking transferred into my business dealings. "Would you be willing to make this connection for me?" "May I attend that networking event with you next time?" and then slowly I began making the bigger asks - "Based on what you want in communication support, does this fit with what you have in mind?"

I felt fully alive. Suddenly, like when I stand backstage before I perform with my band - I felt expectation and hope when sitting with a prospect. I loved it. I didn't know how the situation was going to turn out, but I knew I was prepared to accept it. Will they say no?

If so, I am that much closer to achieving my result of seeing how far I can go. But this was my business. Do I risk asking these tough questions? If so, I am leading. I am purposeful.

Can you relate?

If you can, it's hard for you to ask for the sale. It may be hard to get a co-worker to assist you. It may be hard to delegate or to pick up the call to seek an appointment.

Desensitize yourself by seeking No.

Although you don't plan to get the no, plan to ask questions that you otherwise woudn't ask for fear of getting no. Simply asking while desensitizing yourself from the fear.

Try it for 7 days - get 10 no's a day. Let me know what happens!

Sales are not Tim's Gum

One eye-opening experience I had in first grade taught me a lesson about human nature that has stayed with me today. A fellow classmate, Tim - a timid and honest boy- had drifted off into his head, away from the lesson. Our teacher, Mrs. Showalter, noticed this. To bring him back into the moment with the rest of us, she simply called him by name.

"Tim," Mrs. Showalter said.

"Gum," was his immediate response as his face turned crimson.

"Excuse me?" Mrs. Showalter remarked, her eyes big and her mouth almost laughing.

We first-graders watched Mrs. Showalter regain her composure and stole looks at Tim as he covered his mouth, wondering whether Mrs. Showalter had discovered he was chewing gum in class before he confessed.

"Gum", Tim repeated.

"I see. You have gum in your mouth. Tim, would you please remove the gum from your mouth and throw it away? I believe it's time you pay attention again."

"Yes, ma'm."

We watched Tim slide out of his desk, pull the gum from his mouth and saunter to the wastebasket, hanging his head. Sheepishly he deposited the gum and apologized. "I'm sorry, ma'm." Whether he was sorry he brought attention to his crime or really sorry he attempted to chew gum in class, we don't know.

I have a feeling Tim was not enjoying his stick of gum, having to chew it on the sly, hoping dear Mrs. Showalter didn't discover it. That stick of gum probably lost its flavor quickly.

Here is what I learned. Whatever bothers us stays so top of mind that we cannot focus on anything but it. As a result, we teeter between being stuck in our head with or blurting out those things causing us pain.

Pushing Forward

On this day of the week when it's common to drag ourselves slowly out of bed, into the day and into focus, I am reminded of a move I made to begin pushing my own barrier out of the way. Some of you may have read that I have been a student of the National Speaker Association's Protrack VI class in Ohio, a class that one of my classmates calls "the MBA for professional speakers".

Through the 8-month course we students have examined not only our speaker style, our message and our business strategy. We have also seen the number of ways we could step out into new territory with our business and our own professional speaking practice. This examination - common to many professionals who strive to remain purposeful - though fearful, is also motivating. So much so that I called upon one of the instructors to mentor me. And the double-edged sword answer is, he said yes.