Can't speak up in time? Try this.

Consider the last time you were attending a meeting.

One of the agenda topics gets a few comments from other attendees, then a conclusion is reached and the facilitator moves on to the next topic. More comments are shared. Now you reach a point in your head that you wish you had expressed on the earlier topic. What do you do? For fear of looking like you waited too long to speak up, you say nothing.

If you are an introvert, like I am, this happens to you a lot. We introverts routinely think things through longer before we share our thoughts.

In meeting environments there isn't time for us introverts to think. Comments must be shared now so we can move on to the next point.

Save yourself the frustration with this one simple tip:

Get the meeting agenda ahead of time.

With the agenda in advance you can review the items to be discussed, give quality time to your experiences and/or understanding of them, consider the questions you have and the ideas you wish to share.

Meetings are times to demonstrate what we think. Don't give up this chance.

We introverts don't demonstrate much if we don't speak up. But if we have taken the time to think about the topics prior, we can get to the sharing point before the facilitator has moved on.

Want to speak up? Help yourself by giving yourself necessary time to think things through.

Stand Up for Confidence

My mentor has me reading the book, Selling to VITO, the Very Important Top Officer by Anthony Parinello. Full of perspective on how to think, behave and speak like a top officer, Parinello echoes what I have heard others say about boosting your confidence level - stand up.

Meeting Management Requires Interruption

We introverts struggle with injecting ourselves into conversation. In earlier posts I have focused on meeting participation. Today let's focus on how to guide the conversation when you are the meeting facilitator. Not a smooth task, yet one that requires both courage and calm to interject and set the tone.

Do you wait for the lull before interjecting?
Many of us prefer this, for it allows us to feel we are respecting conversers. However, we who run meetings see how quickly things steer off-track. If we were to wait for a lull in conversation, we may be disrespecting the meeting's intention and structure, offending those who wish we would just get the focus back on track.

Instead of waiting for the lull, interrupt.

How to interrupt:
1. Ask for the segue.
"I think I’m missing something here, can you explain how this relates back to..." and then fill in the track the conversation had steered from.

2. Seek permission.
"Do you mind if we stay focused on [the topic at hand] for this discussion?”

3. Use body language.
I might put my hand out or even stand up, indicating it’s time to pass the conversation on to another individual. Usually this requires saying as much as well.

4. Simply state the need to get back on track.
"Thank you for that, (give person's name). Now let's move on to...."

There is no need to apologize for directing the conversation. As soon as we begin apologizing, we have shifted the focus again. Keep things moving forward with the confidence that it's important to do so. Most people appreciate it.

Meeting managers who guide conversation

• respect others' time
• respect the focus of the meeting
• demonstrate their willingness to lead

Aren't these values of the introvert? Push forward with the interruption!

When Meetings Follow the Rules

I recall a time I presented a topic to a firm's practice group when the firm administrator was present. He sat off to the side where he could gain an advantage of being in the room while also witnessing the participation of others during his scrutiny of me. He is a conscientious rule follower, especially one desiring the meeting facilitator conduct efficient meetings. So he was particularly interested in discovering how I would hold true to my own agenda.

As the meeting facilitator it behooves me to demonstrate both flexibility and structure so everyone's time is well-spent. Especially the introvert's.

We know it's hard, but...

Yesterday I shared a post on preparing being the key  (Introverts Can Prepare to Step Out of the Comfort Zone) to motivation. This morning the TODAY show put focus on Why It's Hard for Women to Speak Up in Meetings. The question is, if you know there is a reason for why you behave certain ways, does this give you an excuse to continue doing so?

When I was teaching high school speech class, moments before students would get up to present I would hear them say, "But it's hard!" As though this is an excuse to not take action.

Yep, it's hard to get out of bed, it's hard to hear no, it's hard to speak up in meetings, to attend networking events and to give public speeches, yet that's a silly excuse for not doing so. Preparing for it to be hard while coaching ourselves to do it anyway is half the battle. Soon we find what was once thought hard is now easy.

I cringed when I saw the title of the news magazine for the above focus on women in meetings. We don't need any more reason to not speak up. What we need are reasons to speak up and direction in how to accomplish it.

Reasons to speak up
1. We have ideas that need to be heard
2. We provide sensitivity
3. We understand the value of letting all voices be heard
4. We create diverse perspective, that in the sharing, benefits the group as a whole
5. It gives us confidence

Similarly to introverts, women are thinkers as well as feelers. Women stand just as much of a chance in offering substance as men.

How to speak up
1. Plan for it
2. Practice it
3. Do it again

Although we make it harder than it is, it may FEEL hard, but it's fairly simple to speak up. Sure, there are times you will fall into the common pattern shared above, but focus on the reasons speaking up will serve a purpose. You can let your voice be heard.