Distractions I Can't Do Without

As her golden hairs all over my t-shirt will attest, my little Amber is quite the lapcat. It doesn't take her long to spot the laptop in my lap before she hovers on the back of my chair. Stealthily, she saunters into my lap, staying low in case I see her and tell her "no".

But in the morning I usually don't. I like the cuddle time with her even if I'm focused on getting online and into my blogging page. That purring bundle is a good little charge for me.

Pull it Forward

On Fridays I enjoy having no appointments, especially as it helps me recall the mission of my work. See post titled Remember the Why. It's important for us entrepreneurs and introverts to recall our mission regularly and then pull it forward into our week.

Remember the WHY

It's Friday, the most common day of the week to forget why we are in the business we are in. On a day like today it's often easier to remember what we are doing outside of the work day - through the weekend.

Yet for many of us, the anxiety of not following through with tasks outside our comfort zone that are crucial in our career leads us to search for distraction.

It is for this reason we must remember why we made the commitment to our profession in the first place. This gives us something to celebrate through the weekend and motivate our Monday energy.

Answer this question. What made you chose your profession?

Sure, the logical reason may have more to do with the pay and benefits. But what's the emotional reason? Why law? Why sales? Why research? Why serve the people?

The question is really asking - what's your story? Get to the heart of it. Then enjoy your weekend.

What Your Audiences Fear #2

Yesterday's post addressed the number one fear of audiences - speakers wasting their time. Today's fear is a very close second.

Audiences fear when we speakers focus on things they don't understand.

As a past high school teacher, I remember the number of times I did this in my own classroom. It's painful for students to sit through a class feeling unaware. Emotionally they are left with a complex of not feeling smart enough.

Can you relate to my high school students, listening to a presenter who speaks over your head? Who uses jargon or language you don't understand? Who gets carried away with information or stories you cannot relate to? Then you know first-hand the problem associated with audience fear #2 - feeling left out.

What this leads to is frustration, anger, exasperation and sometimes even hostility. It comes from feeling trapped listening to something that makes us feel inadequate. We presenters don't want audiences responding this way. It's stressful enough just getting in front of audiences.

We want to make the most out of our time with audiences, getting signs of reflection or approval, even participation.

So if we introverts are the presenters, consider how often we get emotionally overwhelmed when presenting that we only focus on what we know, forgetting the audience. That's when the spigot is turned on and our presentation flows on and on from an endless supply of information that often makes our listeners feel they are facing a fire hose. We have blasted them with information. Now they must defend themselves by throwing questions our way or escaping.

We presenters must make ourselves clear.

We presenters not only must relate to our audiences, we must remember that any time we are addressing them, we must connect what they know to what we know and from there move forward to inform or motivate.

Notice the order here: connect what they know to what we know. This order defers to our listeners first and then respectfully connects their world to ours. Not the other way around.

The first order of business for us presenters to defer focus to an audience is to discover their world, relevant to the presentation topic. Discovering the world of others may not be usual for an introvert, yet using our research and analytical abilities, it is in our skill set. While it puts our value on hold temporarily, deferring to our audience creates a relationship that leads us to be highly valued.

Therefore, we presenters must connect our audience circumstances to our topic. From there we presenters have a connection with our audiences that keeps them from escaping, instead, focused on familiar territory and following your lead.

Remove this second most common audience fear and make yourselves clear!

Introverts, Get Up and At'em!

Back when I was teaching and directing HS theatre, I had to emphasize to students during show weeks the need to get up early on Saturdays. 

Often Friday night shows would go well. Students had been up early enough to get to school on time, had their metabolisms engaged and by showtime they were fully alert and ready to go.

But if they slept in on Saturday morning, especially into the afternoon, they were sluggish.

What Works for You?

One of my clients, Amy, recently revealed a hilarious, if not startling, mindshift. She is the same one who has proclaimed her distaste for selling.

"I now have started my prospecting, but I no longer see it that way."

Her serious demeaner showed a glimpse of a smirk coming through. Clearly, she was having fun.

"I now think of sales as nothing more than a dating relationship. So when it comes to prospecting, what I realize I'm doing is stalking. I love stalking. I am really getting into this sales thing now!"

Do you hate selling? Do what Amy does. Reframe your thinking by making it something you love.

Maybe you are more the researcher, perhaps the scientist. Discovery or experimentation would be the approach you'd take. Maybe you're the private investigator. If so, let your gumshoe tactics kick into gear.

Apply the activity you enjoy to your selling and you will find yourself in a different mindset, motivated. Just a friendly piece of advise.

Affirm Who You Are

Many business leaders and coaches will tell you to focus on the goals you set, follow through with the initiatives you're using to reach them and track your results. This is good advice. On top of that - and in addition, is the need for the introvert to affirm who they are.

Introvert work conflicts start from within

Do you find yourself questioning your choice of career after you've already begun it? Many of us do, and yet for introverts, sometimes we talk ourselves out of the very career that gives us purpose - at the very time that we could actually do ourselves and our world the most good. And then we hang in the balance between purpose and results.

Merri's Tips - Part 6

36. Confirm appointments the day before. How often have you been stood up, where at the wrong location or didn't know the location of your pre-arranged appointment? It's a waste of time. Progress and relationships with clients or others take a hit. It's worth the energy to confirm in advance.

37. Carry extra material to read or review when attending appointments. Those days your joiner gets delayed you will welcome the chance to pick up the book you've been reading, review the material for your next appointment or take notes you didn't take the time to write down from your last phone call. This is a welcome way to wait in traffic, stand in line at the coffee shop, etc.

38. On the contrary, stay open to being present to your surroundings. If you're at a restaurant awaiting the arrival of your joiner, don't always keep your head buried. You'll be able to greet and converse with those you know in your community, whether personal or professional relationships. You will appear accessible vs. wanting to not be disturbed. Staying accessible is the key to us in professional services.

39. When you look in the mirror in the morning, find something to smile about. Practice smiling to yourself and notice the impact it makes on you. Without a doubt it makes a similar impact on those you are with through the day.

40. Recall the good of the day at day's end. If you don't have a practice of reviewing your day with someone, start it. Or simply journal about it. Reviewing the good you have done and the good others have done for you gives you insight and motivation toward how well you are serving your mission.

41. Articulate your mission aloud, each morning. If you don't remember or haven't defined your personal/professional mission, nobody else will get it, either. With a focus on what you believe you're all about, you will act in alignment with that mission and learn what is worth saying Yes to and what you should say No to. This behavior is one of the biggest communicators about who you are.

Merri's Tips - Part 3

13. Thinking doesn't replace doing. Although thinking is hugely important, deciding is moreso. Better yet is acting on the decision. Action is what makes thinking powerful.

14. If you have questions, ask them.  Take advantage of time spent with peers, trainers, coaches, supervisors and mentors. Any moment can be a teachable moment for someone needing to inform us. Help them get that opportunity.

15. If there is tension in the room, work through it. Tense moments, themselves, are teachable moments. Avoid shutting down or ignoring it. Instead, put on your curiousity cap and discover what's going on.

As Mark Sanborn suggests, "Change this inconsistency!"

By nature we automatically think one thing and do another. See the problems in others and not in ourselves. Do those things we wish we wouldn't. We are inconsistent creatures.

There is one inconsistency that Mark Sanborn has tweeted about lately. How can you keep commitments to others if you can't keep commitments to yourself?