Lawyer's world: Turnabout is Fair Play

Digging deep is a behavior pattern for the lawyer to engage in when uncovering evidence, researching history and background, questioning witnesses. Search requires getting past the roadblocks, the barriers to the goldmine.

6 Facts about Public Speaking Anxiety

When I was a child I was ultra shy. The middle child in my family, I developed the pattern of letting my older sister do the decision-making and my younger brother handle conversation.

That pattern made me comfortable yet did little to help me break away from the communication barriers I created. What this means is, I had problems entering conversation, getting to know people, making decisions and feeling confident around people. Later in life when encouraged to speak up at meetings or to groups, I suffered physical anxieties like diarhea triggers, focus issues, cold hands, and weak knees.

Researchers tell us that social phobias like public speaking anxiety start in childhood with shyness. If we don't address them, they progress through adulthood.

Merri's Tips - Part 9

 50. Remember your manners. It seems when we are tired, worn out or challenged by things in daily life, our manners get forgotten. Recall what you learned in kindergarten about being nice, friendly and personable.

51. Choose those times when manners aren't needed. Whether you're being bullied or physically attacked, manners will get you no place. Quite honestly, these are the times when you must show your muscle. Stand up. Speak up. Listen up. Buck up. These times are few, but how we play them will demonstrate what we are made of.

52. Do what it takes to find rest. Our minds and our bodies will be in constant motion if we don't quiet them. I'm not the one to say how to do so. Each of us inherently knows what it takes for us to be at rest. It's our job to do it. It's a commandment. And on the 7th day...

Quieting our mind is part of intrapersonal management. Becoming aware of our emotions  (what we are feeling) and regulating them (determining how we prefer to feel and then focusing on this) are essential for our minds to be quieted.

Gain confidence in this and we gain control over manners, relationships, responsibilities and how we present ourselves.  

One Simple Rule of Thumb for Courtroom/Public Speaking

Recently I spent an hour with a client wanting a review of the presentation he's giving for an office all-staff meeting. As I requested, he sent me the focus of his message in advance so I could get a sense of the content. Although it was fairly technical, I knew there were ways he could engage his listeners so they didn't slump into their seats while pulling out their smartphones.


Since his intention was to motivate the listeners into taking certain steps toward behavior changes, he knew he had to help them focus on themselves instead of being distracted by how he was presenting the message and then quickly tune out.

Advice for new Managing Partners

Yesterday I had lunch with a tremendous lawyer friend of mine who is in her first several months as managing partner in her firm. As many of us are, she is cautious about her expertise and current successes. She could be overwhelmed with the responsibilities on her plate, yet she has had something I think is hugely commendable: willingness to listen to peers about what it takes to handle this position.

Although she received many pieces of advice from trusted friends and associates within other firms, she has whittled down the list to 3 main rules to follow so she can avoid wringing her hands at the end of the day.

Who Around You is Worthy of Good Treatment

Our weekend guests, Amanda and Aaron, will be in their 4th year at Ball State University where they each are working toward their degrees in music education.

As they were reflecting on insights gleaned of late, one comment surfaced: "It's now clear that we treat the school librarians well. They can be the ones buying texts and resources our budgets can't afford!"
I agree. Befriending someone who has the power to give you quality resources is essential. Harolyn Legg was that person for me.

A past school teacher myself, I've since recalled 2 other important relationships in my tenure of teaching: the school secretary and the custodian. From Nancy Stillberger to Pam Schimmoehler, I realized the role of school secretary is more of a roller coaster ride than that of a classroom teacher. They deal with all the complainers - not just some, but all.

Discovering Your Courtroom Impact

You slide your chair away from the table, rise and approach. You can't help but watch yourself, hear your footsteps and feel the hairs on the back of your neck.

What are your opening words? Where is your opening focus? What is the impact you've already made?


Litigators know the power of their presence and courtroom performance. It's one thing to have their case strategy laid out. It's quite another to deliver the effect they're after, create a connection with the jurors and judge and relate without going over the top. And clients want them to be confident as well.

Where do you turn to determine the impact you're making?