Print Resources for Self Growth

Here are 4 of the best resources I have grown from over the course of my professional career. Lawyers, how would these apply for you?

Think & Grow Rich by Napolean Hill
From this book I was inspired to create Master Mind groups, some that I now call Business Owner Accountability Groups (for the small business owner) and Solo Practitioner Accountability Groups (for the lone attorney).

Readers also get motivation in necessary business traits like decision-making, organized planning, mental toughness, etc. Its a classic still on my shelf and often reviewed today! A relevant read for the attorney.

The 12 Bad Habits that hold GOOD people back by James Waldroop and Timothy Butler
Subtitled, overcoming the behavior patterns that keep you from getting ahead, this book is a comprehensive study on the 12 common patterns we fall into and cases of professionals struggling through them.

Each of us wants to accomplish certain things over time, yet we all fall behind based on the above patterns. Until we are aware of and address these patterns we will not accomplish what we want. Pick up this book for your own reference.

The Power of FOCUS by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen and Les Hewitt
Subtitled How to Hit Your Business, Personal and Financial Targets with Absolute Certainty, one of the key chapters for me is about habits - those we strive to practice and those that perpetuate the patterns that hold us back.

Among other things, our creation of habits is key in our ability to focus, especially in multi-tasking environments or those with huge time commitments such as the attorney world.

self-promotion for introverts by Nancy Ancowitz
Subtitled the quiet guide to getting ahead, Nancy understands what is at risk for the introvert who owns a business or is responsible for business development. Without excusing the introvert for resisting self-promotion, Ancowitz instead helps us focus on those things we are naturally good at and suggests how to use them to develop business.

Full of techniques and tips, this will help avid readers put actions in place while helping them feel better about promotion. Lawyers are most commonly introverts, so this is a great resource!

For more book recommendations, visit my LinkedIn page: www.linkedin/in/merribame

Lawyers: Take a fearless and searching moral inventory.

Not only do addicts work the 12 steps, so do their personal development supporters.

I learned this recently after lunching with a friend who told me of her journey with self assessment. She is now on the 4th step, the one that takes tremendous courage and objectivity. Taking a fearless moral inventory of ourselves helps us break down barriers, and it helps the AA member move forward in their program.

What does this have to do with attorneys? Everything. Just like in other professions, the more we manage ourselves, the better our influence with others. The 4th step is pivotal for courtroom influence, office/firm effectiveness and client development. Without it, we flounder.

After my luncheon with the above friend, I decided to take a fearless moral inventory of myself, only to find there are key issues I need to address.

Flexibility

In many ways I am a control freak. Starting with organization and/or time management, I prefer things to have structure, for I know I work best within defined structures. Yet, I often am in unstructured environments that others don't want structured. The lesson for me here is to give up the need to control and become flexible. Today I make a point to allow myself to adjust as needed. Big lesson for me, yet one that I've already seen beneficial.

For instance, the more days off I take (I'm a workaholic) the steadier my business. This doesn't make sense to me, yet it tells me I need to just let go and trust. This will continue to be a tough lesson for me, yet the more I note the benefits in being flexible, the greater my motivation.

Vulnerability

Along with my need to control is my need to explain my expertise. I know where this comes from. It's a barrier pattern called, Never Feeling Good Enough that plays in my head. It's my own experience that when given constructive criticism, I feel deflated instead of educated. Not everyone responds this way. Nor should I.

What I know about vulnerability is, the more often I admit mistakes, ask for help, or seek perspective the better equipped I am in the future. Yet when I offer apologies, I often fall into the trap of explaining my actions. Unfortunately, my apology appears ingenuine - and it probably is. If I were to simply apologize, offering no excuses, I am closer to building trust, feeling less anxious and on the path to moving forward. Vulnerability is essential for leaders, followers, business builders, professionals, parents and educators. Vulnerability is the key to my own humility which is crucial for understanding and love.

Preparedness

I must take the time to think, to reflect, to observe and to understand. When I do, I prepare myself to self-manage. Instead of constantly running and doing,  this practice allows me to be grounded in what's going on around me and how I'm contributing.

Not to be contrary to flexibility, the more prepared I am with handling unplanned circumstances, the better equipped I am for mentally being flexible. When I taught high school, it used to really throw me off if, while in the middle of a classroom activity the fire alarm would sound. My first instinct was usually - why weren't we alerted?! Didn't administration respect us enough not to interrupt our efforts?

Although at times the alarms were due to true emergencies, sometimes I had simply failed to remember earlier communications of upcoming classroom disruptions. This led to lack of preparation on my part. My busy schedule has usually prohibited preparedness - thus to be better prepared I need to take control of my schedule.

Taking a fearless and moral inventory of ourselves requires reviewing the things that upset us, then taking responsibility for what we need to correct in ourselves. Not easy, yet when we take this step, just like addicts, we will move forward in our own development.

Presenting Well: The case for rehearsal

Tonight my band, No Excuses, is rehearsing for several hours before playing 2 gigs this weekend. I'm a bit nervous about the gig on Sunday, because we have only been rehearsing for Saturday's performance. Since Sunday's is twice as long, we'll no doubt use about 3 hours or so to focus on Sunday's gig before we polish up for tomorrow's. Then I can breath better and sleep well.

If you are about to present a case to a jury, an informational topic to prospects or open an event for your community, it takes practice. This is not a mental review, reading over a script. This is an on-your-feet, outloud rehearsal, complete with movement, projection, eye contact and high energy. In front of others.

What Being a Jurist Taught Me

5 or 6 years ago I had the occassion to sit as a jurist in the Lucas County Common Pleas Court. I recall sighing heavily upon getting the notice in the mail. A solopreneur, I wasn't happy to potentially lose a week of business for the sake of doing my civic duty.

Little did I know what would come from this new perspective.

I was numerically high on the list, in the first group to be interviewed through voir dire and was selected to sit to hear arguments in a case determining the extent of damages the defendent should pay to a surgeon who suffered injuries during an auto accident.

Merri's Tips - Part 10

51. Tap into your inner child. You may wonder how this works in the professional environment. Well, if it's a stretch for you, then let your inner child come out in your off-work hours.

For me it happens when I perform with the band I'm in. With my out of-town-band, No Excuses, I freely laugh, joke, sing with my heart, wear fun hats and unabashadly move to the music. What I end up with is a performance in authenticity.

Lawyers: Pack Your Mental Diet with 3 Ingredients

The first week of August (2 weeks ago), I was away for a camping vacation. During that time I set aside my Blackberry and disconnected from my regular communication with the world. I felt a bit as though I had stepped into a boat to get to the other side of the lake, away from the 5,000.

Disconnecting helped me reconnect with the best energy in life - nature and the divine. This mental diet not only helps me survive but creates the ability to thrive!

Now that I'm back in my professional life, I need to keep my mental diet intact. Just like you, I get overwhelmed by multitasking, projects, deadlines and the cesspool of constantly flowing information around me. Yet today I remember the power and focus of my mental diet by focusing simply on 3 key ingredients.

Lawyers take note - our biggest flaw

Everything I coach I have personally needed to develop in - and to a degree, still need. Whether that is public speaking, interpersonal performance or intrapersonal behavior. So when I speak of our biggest flaw, I definitely include myself in the assertion.

We get in the way of ourselves far too often. Of all things, that's our biggest flaw. I don't care how old you are - I'm in my 50's. I don't care how educated you are, where you were raised, how many in your family or what your current professional responsibilities are. You and I still get in our own way and get ultra frustrated about it.

Is there anything we can do about this?