Rethink the Security Blanket

I love seasonal Charlie Brown clips, especially the Christmas ones. But you have to see this opener with Charlie Brown and the gang called Snowflakes. The clip opens with the gang enjoying the freshly falling snowflakes. In it, Linus's skills at target practice also stand out.

Lucy, not wanting to be undone by her younger, blanket-toting sibling, flings a tart remark about his adult life, and it makes me think of how each of us tend to have our own security blanket.

The introvert is often seen as someone who can't stand on their own without aid of someone or something else, yet while Linus often demonstrates in the Peanut clips, he is quite adept with how he uses this security. And like you saw in the above clip, he has made it into a tool rather than  a crutch.

Rethink the introvert's security blanket - perhaps it's taking time to think before making decisions, or standing off from the group to observe and quietly participate. These, too, are tools that sharpen rather than hamper our abilities.

Introvert Nuggets

Back in the late 1980's I directed a high school production of The Outsiders, based on the book written by S.E. Hinton which deals with the challenge being part of the "have nots" as a teenager. The school production was a huge success, for it has been in the literary curricula and relevant to most teenagers.

One of the lines Ponyboy (the main character who is working through being respected while living life among hoodlums) dwells on is "all that glitters is not gold". Thelogians, philosophers and even literary bard William Shakespeare have written about distinguishing the loud from the valuable. This is a value of Ponyboys and one of the introvert as well.

Mission Possible

As my readers know, I've written about ways to celebrate the introvert over the past several weeks. I understand their struggles with extroverted behaviors, especially as attorneys and other service professionals who need to develop strong client and network relationships. I am also an introvert. And I have a mission to help introverts share their strengths with the world.

Getting Back to Thinking

King Solomon is legendary for his ability to discern judgment. Consider how he handled the issue of which woman was to keep the newborn baby when 2 claimed to be the mother. No DNA testing then, no experts or witnesses to speak on either's behalf. So when King Solomon called for his sword to split the baby in two, the real mother called out in horror to let the other keep her child.

Getting back to thinking will save our world.

Building Conversation

I can remember sitting at the cafeteria tables with my high school friends listening to spirited conversation about fashion, music or relationships while I nodded my head and smiled between bites of my lunch.

I wanted to appear interested eventhough I hadn't a clue what to say. Although my mind was chatting away - I really don't care about what dresses Jane wears....Spiro Gyra - that's a band name not a ride at Cedar Point? - nothing seemed to come out of my mouth. I was stuck.

Today, dinner parties, some networking luncheons and other social engagements lead me to feeling the same thing. Often the conversation is around topics which mean little to me. At these times I could use some guidance on how to build conversation, in meaningful ways.

In yesterday's post, E. F. Hutton moments, I shared the idea that the quiet leaders often say very little. We introverts don't need to keep up with extroverts on the quantity of participation in conversation . We want to be purposeful and valuable. In so doing, we simply want to know how to participate in meaningful ways while many around us simply add superficial comments.

Of late the following three tips on building conversation have served me well:

1. Offer an observation based on what you have just witnessed, read or experienced. We introverts spend much of our time thinking and supply this activity with fuel from observation and reading. In addition, we reflect over our experiences and would relish getting feedback.
2. Ask a question that seeks information about an opinion, instruction, etc. This is a natural direction for us to take. We introverts help others out by getting more information for others to reflect on.
3. Share an opinion or idea with the listeners. Although this is often the last in our means of contributing, it is quite often the most important. As thinkers, we introverts can share perspective others are not considering.

It may not be surprising that the rich parts of conversation come from us introverts, at least if we actively build ourselves into it.

E. F. Hutton moments

I was born in 1960, so growing up in the 70's I often saw TV commercials capitalizing on the power of E.F. Hutton's people engagement. I guess that meant he was wise, said few words and was deeply respected. He was a quiet leader. If you'd like to have fun with the 1970's TV commercial, click here.

For some reason, many today believe the ones to be respected are the talkers that command attention by taking the floor the majority of the time. They have lots to say and are willing to share. They are loud, have great energy and often know how to make people laugh. They entertain.

What leadership style works is generally different for people, yet one thing is evident - leaders come in all styles. This is great news for the introvert. If we are to advance and excel in our careers, using our strengths is key, and also taking advantage of opportunities to speak. Business meetings, networking events, public forums all offer opportunities for our E.F. Hutton moments.

There's no need to feel we must become extroverted and change our personalities. When we embrace the quiet leadership style, accept the invitation to share, smile while sharing, we gain respect in quiet ways.

We really enjoy ourselves

Introverts are known to spend time alone.

For those of us who are not introverts, we assume when someone is alone we must call or visit them. Certainly they wouldn't want to be alone. Yet for introverts, being alone is a treat.