Stand Up for Confidence

My mentor has me reading the book, Selling to VITO, the Very Important Top Officer by Anthony Parinello. Full of perspective on how to think, behave and speak like a top officer, Parinello echoes what I have heard others say about boosting your confidence level - stand up.

When it's Time to Uproot

One of the things that shakes my values is the Bible.

This isn't going to be a rant on religion or Christianity - simply a focus on everything being acceptable. I hope you get my point in a few minutes.

 If you are a regular reader, you know that about 5 days ago we moved, because I focused a post on the impact of clutter.

But today I am recalling what it takes to shift from being settled to unsettled and then finding our way back to becoming settled again - until next time.

Getting uprooted is a true test of my values.

What's the Plan?

Today is Friday, typically a planning day for me. It's the day I catch up with my communication,  account for my recent appts, look ahead at my next week so I can create a strategy for being prepared for it, and gather information tied to presentation requests. It's a big day full of focused, proactive tasks.

I love Fridays.

I don't mix appointments into my Fridays, for that disrupts the discipline and follow-through of too many pieces of my work. On Fridays I see where my impact has been, I discover what lies ahead and get motivated for future activity.

Yesterday I talked about purpose (Bold or Purposeful?), recalling our talents and desire to use them. If you ask yourself, "What am I good at? What are my gifts/talents?" you get affirmation of value.

But don't stop there. Purpose is strengthened when tied to planning.

Create a system of follow-through so you continue to see your work in action. This leads to a routine that, although inflexible, creates integrity. Decide how often you need to step back for reflection and which questions you will ask yourself.

After I ask myself about my talents and how I have used them, I ask
"What do I need to do to exceed the expectations of others?"

For business' sake, this drives my ability to follow-through with my systems. For relationship sake, this creates interest, respect and leads to trust. For humility's sake, this affirms my purpose.

When do you track your progress and focus on your goals? What's your system? What's the plan?

Bold or Purposeful?

There was a time when my eyes were opened to my own selfishness.

Now a member of a Presbyterian church, I have contributed in church services with my artistic talents, namely my acting/singing skills. But growing up in a strict Lutheran church, I learned to keep my talents hidden so as to not brag on them.

Although I was encouraged to join choir, a group activity, I was led to believe doing any solo or individual work was bragging. This belief gripped my activity for a great number of years - is actually still a hard one to shake lose from my psyche.

Hoping to be able to use my gifts in my Presbyterian setting when others appreciate their value, I first want to be recognized, invited to do something with them, and then I willingly share.

Then came the day someone mentioned I should offer these gifts on my own - not await being asked.

"But isn't that being too bold?" I responded.

"Bold?" they questioned. "Quite the opposite. Without your offering them, you are holding back. Consider your gifts as part of your tithing, part of your purpose here in the church. If you await being asked to share, you aren't willingly contributing."

Wow. This opened my eyes to purpose with my God-given talents.

It's not about me - being asked. It's about motivation to give and to serve.

What are your gifts and talents? Do you wish you would be asked to speak or to lead a group? Are you quick with design, with organization, with host or hostessing? Consider your gifts, and then consider how often you use them.

Do you share them willingly, or do you await being asked? You may have thought it too bold to offer your skills or creativity without being asked to, yet in many cases, folks don't know better. They may not know to ask for your service. But you do. Not using them is squandering them. This is selfish.

Without sharing our gifts, we demonstrate our selfishness. Share your gifts. You will enjoy doing so and so will countless others.

Why We Introverts Must Learn to Ask

One of my hardest lessons in life has been asking for help.

I recall times during my high school years I would attend county fairs with friends with a limited amount of money in my pocket. So much to do with a little bit of money - eat great foods, ride thrilling rides or play games of skill.

I would walk my frugal self around, trying to decide where to give up my funds. Usually my parents where also on the fair grounds, so if I ran out of money, I could always ask for more. But I knew I wouldn't. Instead of deciding to buy all that I wanted, I would have to decide which were my priorities.

Being frugal with money is one thing. Being frugal with time is something different. This has been a relatively recent discovery.

2 Tips after a Job Well Done

We are constantly growing or falling backwards.

So  it stands to reason that any time we speakers/performers feel we have done well in front of an audience, whether accomplishing our intent (entertain, persuade, inform, call to action, etc.) or surviving the event unscathed, we are most ready for constructive feedback.

I used to hear from a basketball coach, Don't spend time dwelling on your accolades. That's the time you are most susceptible and vulnerable.

You can imagine the humiliation, when on a basketball court, just after an exciting slam dunk to capture the lead - the momentum in the air is contagious - the scoring team is answered by a slick offense that captures a three-pointer within seconds. Bummer. They just fell backward.

No time for dwelling on the past - stay present to the moment.

Speakers take note: Look around at what else is needed.

The audience will have questions or they will want advice. They have already moved on and want to take next steps based on your topic. Don't dwell on accolades - stay in the present.

Whether a presentation goes well or not, it's time to get constructive feedback.

But we are all most open to it when we believe we are worthy of it. So when things go well, look for ways to improve.

• Where were the areas of relevance
• where were the areas of confusion
• what else did individuals want to know about

After a job well done, there is more work to do. Move forward and grow.

Introverts, Get Up and At'em!

Back when I was teaching and directing HS theatre, I had to emphasize to students during show weeks the need to get up early on Saturdays. 

Often Friday night shows would go well. Students had been up early enough to get to school on time, had their metabolisms engaged and by showtime they were fully alert and ready to go.

But if they slept in on Saturday morning, especially into the afternoon, they were sluggish.