Groovin'

8:26pm Gotta pocketful of sunshine. Yep, it's October 28, not the time of year when natural sun shines through the blinds. Still gotta pocketful of sunshine.

Gliding through the hall with a Blue Moon in my right, a rhythm in my left and my feet clickin' to the beat of Natasha Bedingfield while a smile stretches across my face.

Cats have cockeyed looks on their faces. Does this stand in my way? Oh, no. The beat keeps me focused, the 2nd track keeps the beat.

I gotta pocket gotta pocket full of sunshine, oh......I gotta love..gotta love that's all mine.... Oh...........Take me away....

Usual routine is the kitten in my lap, but not tonight. Can't even sit. Gotta stay in the groove.

Take me a way... the secret place....the great escape.... to better days...

I gotta pocket gotta pocket full of sunshine.......

Today another new client, a great event, business makes sense, life is purposeful...just gotta dance...I'll be alright.....

From a Position of Strength

While superman hoists challenges above his head before flinging them out of the way, onlookers can see the effect on his armpits. Does that hold back Superman? No. Does that hold back the rest of us? Well, usually.

The American adage of "Never let them see you sweat" has gripped our collective psyche to the point that many well-equipped individuals avoid challenges.

I must confess, that has often been my stumbling block - fear of how others would view me or my actions when I step up to the challenge. During these challenging times I typically view my perspective from a position of weakness. Not a very appropriate view.

My body responds with butterflies, my face and ears redden and I feel the need to flee just when the universe has brought me an opportunity to demonstrate my value. Instead, I decline.

Looking at this from another perspective, I wish I could just flick some sense into my head. (Usually this comes after tipping a cold brew, yet sometimes it happens while at work, too!) The more I practice stepping up to the plate, facing my challenges with a strategy of using my gifts and talents, I am in the flow...similar to golfer Bagger Vance.




It's about seeing what's possible.  From that view, my strengths calm me, and then I move into action as though being divinely directed. I don't stand in my own way. Instead, I move forward. Coming from a position of strength.

Athletes understand this, as well as stage performers, musicians, wise sages and priests. Tapping into our inner strengths - our gifts - offers us a way to purposely move forward. We all have the potential.

Facing challenges today? Take'em on from a position of strength.

listing to the left...

Yeah, I gotta admit, part of the joy of blogging is finding the appropriate photo to represent the post. And this one is no exception! No, I don't mean to suggest having presidential duties, but if I don't make my list, I lose motivation to follow through with my day. Think Obama is the same way? Well....

Some people spend hours creating lists...at day's end and/or first thing in the morning. The more analytical and orderly the person, the more lists they create. And then they create a list identifying where each list type is found. Sort of a table of contents. That's a bit much. (smile - out of ability to relate) The more they list, the less likely they will actually complete each, for they've wasted so much time creating the list there is no time left to do anything about it!

Yet I have to say, without my list of specific tasks all for a workday's focus (full of not only names to call but phone numbers specific to each recipient, things intended in the conversation and my specific "asks" per person) I drag my feet prior to getting tasks done. I have to review the weekly goals to remember how my tasks support them. Once done, I fly through my tasks. What a difference knowing how each tasks supports the overall goal!

You'd think I would have gotten so good at this, working in my coaching business for nearly 10 years (and coaching individuals not only in relationship management but in TASK management also) that it all becomes second nature to know what to do next, and I no longer need to create lists for motivation. But that's not the case. And most folks I know who rely on lists ALSO tend to get away from the routine, lose focus, lose momentum and lose their ability to feel productive at the end of the day.

I wonder how Obama feels at the end of the day? Has he checked anything off his list?

Listing is why post-it notes, scrap pads of paper and task reminders are such a huge part of office supply shops and software office programs. Maybe it's why I love walking through office supply shops, touching pads of paper, trying out pens and flipping through filing tools. It slows me down, develops that organizing appeal and allows my "service" gene to stretch. Or maybe it's just another way to make us of good ole' procrastination.

I'm sure I'll continue listing. Just as many other, well-intentioned, driven and motivated people will. Whether we list to the left, list to the right, stand up, sit down or fight, fight, fight! I hope you keep doing it, too. Otherwise, you may not call me back, follow through with your promises or save the world on someone else's behalf.

Just remember to do the work, so you get to check it off your list! Our President has at least checked off one item. :)

If I Could Talk to the Animals

Another morning I'm up before 4am, not by design, but because instead of running conversations through my head as I lie awake, I chose to go downstairs to "play on my laptop". In so doing, two feline friends, Amber and Frisbee, shifted from sleeping contentedly at head and feet to flying downstairs with me.

After I collected my laptop and headed for the daybed, Carmel, another cat who endured me just long enough while I petted her, pounced away from her cozy perch onto the floor and out the door.

I don't like being up so early on another workday, fully expecting to hit the snooze at least once before I get to the gym at 5:30, yet now I'm up at least an hour ahead of time, not appreciative but preferring to make good use of the time. After reading a few emails, I notice activity around me from 4 fully awakened cats as they jockey for position, posturing and pouncing. Buddy sauntered in to check out the food dish that Frisbee finally left while Amber and Caramel took turns catching my eye in front of the other.

Only Caramel was ticked off from being awakened. Yet that was even short-lived, evidenced from her drool while I petted the top of her head. The others demonstrated their appreciation of being awake and functioning, of having my attention.

"Thanks for realizing we are here," they seemed to say. "And while you're at it, refill our food. Come pet me again. Watch me run and knock over the vase of flowers. I bet you never saw another cat jump down so quickly while keeping its fur in place."

My attitude is now much different than when I first awoke. Thanks to the energy in this room. As the clock ticks on, and I've fully awakened, I can actually smile -which attracts notice from Amber sitting in my lap. Good thing I can't read their minds. If I could, I may actually be upset right now.

How much is Good Enough?

Not long ago I sat across from a client who asked me, "Who gets to say whether I'm good enough?"

The context of our conversation focused on a recurring theme today: job seeking. Whether those prepping to land their next position are asking guidance from experts on resume building, interviewing effectively, networking or image, the bottom line is a rather pitty experience of whether they measure up.

Contrast this with watching TLC's What Not to Wear(one of my favorite shows, by the way!), attending an audition, prepping for a big presentation or tournament competition. Being Good Enough is such an opinion-driven, in-the-moment experience. And who gets to be the judge?

As a confidence-building speaking coach, I lead clients to look to themselves for being able to pass scrutiny. Consider first what IS good enough in your own eyes. Then dismiss all the fluff as extra. Perhaps we are considering appearance, actions, results, how to spend money, how to use our time. When we know what is most important to us, we will measure our actions, our behaviors and our words to those values. Anything beyond that is TOO MUCH.

As adults, we are in the position to make choices. This, consequently, becomes a model for youth and young adults. Those who are driven by their parents, or peers or celebraties to push themselves beyond thier limits, especially regarding things that make little difference, will soon become victim of the Not Being Good Enough syndrome.

Decide. How much is good enough - and then be good with it!
Please share, what is your measuring stick?

Up to the highest height

I'm not sure which Greek sage first announced, "Know thyself". It is attributed to at least six. While presently the thought shows up in the modern-day film,The Matrix, on a plaque above the Oracle's door, the saying encourages us to achieve our potential.

Today is Sunday. This weekend I observed myself through attention to others while my family came to visit. The gene pool lever knocked on the back of my mind while I noticed a key habit of my father's - the quick release jaw during laughing. I have always been mindful of how often my mouth flies open wide when attempting to kick a ball, shoot a basket or block a shot.

Although I have meant to adjust that habit so my tongue isn't quite so evident, I never think about it soon enough. Well sure enough, Dad's does, too. And not just when he's attempting a physical feat. It's also when he exclaims, laughs and wonders.

Just when I began shaking my head in wonderment, I noticed it again. My mouth had flown open. Suddenly I was aware that this behavior was not learned but natural. It can not be controlled.

Sure, Pythagorus, Socrates, Plato - all the ancient philosophers - have led us to reach our highest height of understanding self while witnessing those around us: actions, behaviors, morals, habits. Even applying this to our understanding of God, the universe, and our collective consciousness.

Let's go fly a kite
Up to the highest height
Let's go fly a kite
And send it soaring.
Up to the atmosphere
Up where the air is clear.
Oh, let's go, fly a kite.

On this sacred day of days, what I have discovered about myself gives me little sense of divinity. My opportunity of flying a kite, of discovering enlightenment, has led me instead to sucking in flies.

Reaching Into the Great Beyond

About a month ago I had coffee with someone who, not surprisingly, expressed her fear of making phone calls. My coaching work often leads me to those in business development who feel anxiety when using the phone to call upon strangers while seeking business. Cold-calling is a drudgery for many in sales, yet it leads to the eventual result - an appointment.

In this case a month ago, my companion wasn't reaching out to make a sales call. She was instead attempting to discover information about herself. She experiences social anxiety - something many experience at varying degrees, yet we have often heard it called "shyness". According to Jonathon Berent, ACSW, when we call ourselves shy, we avoid control over our condition. Calling ourselves socially anxious, we "are on our way to a more relaxed, fulfilling life in which we are in control".

I was forewarned to expect a call from my socially anxious companion, and within a week, she called. Now that's amazing. I remember thinking I'd never hear from her, for after all, what was motivating her to reach out? Yet she did call.

While on the phone she mentioned her fear of phoning, allowing me to marvel at the followthrough. Beyond that was her fear of meeting in public. Yet her intent in making the call was two-fold: could my coaching help her address her anxiety in specific ways, and if I thought so, could we meet?

After I shared my willingness to learn more about her, we agreed to meet. I selected a comfortable coffee shop convenient to both of us, while also very "public". If our work together was to be effective, it would get demonstrated immediately by our public location. My new acquaintance agreed and 2 days later we sat down together with coffee.

Reaching out into the great beyond, this woman chose to conquer her problems and overcome the symptoms that get in her way. Like others, she has constantly held herself back from relationships, personal fulfillment and career moves simply because of her embarrassment, fear or loss of confidence when assuming others are judging her.

Odd as it seems, this is a common factor we all face, daily. Daily. Often hourly.
We retreat back into isolation when our mind - logic - informs us it is time to reach out. Yet our fears of the result - our emotion - blocks us from following through with our intentions.

The manager considers checking in with a direct report, yet struggles with being unable to answer endless questions, hearing negative talk or having to make a decision he/she doesn't want to make. The sales professional avoids the client who wants a return call, fearing their dissatisfaction, or they fear cold-calling which leads to lack of interest or feeling of no value.

In our personal relationships we simply want positive reinforcement. When we don't get it, we assume things beyond what's actually the case.

Initiating contact with people is not always, but sometimes, a huge risk. But as in the earlier woman's case, it leads to information we need. And from there, possible connections that are of major importance. In the meantime, we find we have a more relaxed, fulfilling life in which we are in control.

In what way can you reach out instead of retreating, today?