When I think of chivalry in its truest form, I recall the image of someone being willing to help another save face when approaching a difficult situation. If there is a puddle between the unprotected and their destination, a chivalrous person would remove their outer layer - their own cloak - lay it down directly over the puddle and then take the hand of the unprotected while guiding them over the cloak.
With chivalry we help someone save face (or foot) while they step precariously into a treacherous zone. Our goal is to help them emerge without a scratch or a flaw in the end.
In the presentation world many speakers attempt this set-up yet they fall short. We have heard the adage, tell'em what you're going to tell'em, tell'em and then tell'em what you've told'em. This stays in our mind as a way of creating structure for an otherwise unstructured event. It's the table of contents, so to speak, for a communication form that doesn't usually have one. A table of contents gives us a glance at what to expect.
I have heard professional speakers decry, "For goodness sake, don't just launch into your presentation. At least warm up the audience first." Here is an attempt at chivalry. Yet the same speakers offer meak means. They suggest "make nice" gestures such as Say goodmorning, Thank the coordinator, Give the audience a chance to adjust thier positions while they get used to you. To me these actions are little more than pointing to a puddle and saying, "look out" but offering no physical or emotional support in navigating it.
Speakers, remove your cloak. Your audience, seated where they are, can see you are addressing a topic that many of them struggle with. (for the most part, that's the case with what we presenters do - we address topics of growth or enlightenment) Simply bringing it to them is like dropping them off in front of puddles and saying "jump!".
In the opening of your presentation, it's important to not only provide a roadmap for how you are navigating them through. It's important you take the time to assist them over the hardest part. I call this addressing the elephant in the room.
I usually pose 2 questions in my introductions. The first is to unify the audience to the topic at hand. In many of my presentations the topic addresses communication, whether public speaking or other forms. My first question will be something like "How many of you believe communication is key to your business-building success?" To this, almost all audience raise their hands. This unifies them with me. Their attitude in focusing is positive.
My second question addresses the elephant in the room, helping me to take my cloak off to come to their aid. "How many of you know exactly how to communicate for effective business-building?" And to this question, most hesitate. Immediately I come to their aid with a statement of apology "I am not trying to make you feel bad. Instead, I want you to know this is a struggle we all go through. To ease this struggle of yours I will share with you today a technique of 3 key practices to help make your communication lead to effective business-building. With my 2nd question I have removed my cloak - taken myself from safe, protected territory to the position of "taking the fall".
From my introduction I lead immediately into the nature of our struggles, the status quo of our efforts, and point to the hope all the audience has of better experiences ahead. This is the moment when I actually put down my cloak for the unprotected. Until then they know not how they are crossing the threshold. Now they know and begin to cross with me.
It's not enough to tell'em what you're going to tell 'em. Support them. Address the elephant in the room by taking off your own cloak. Then lay it at their feet in a chivalrous fashion to help them save face in their travels of your message. It simply takes time and willingness to serve. Many say chivalry is a lost art. Come to well-designed presentations. You'll see it.
Attorneys come to Merri because they want to speak with confidence. They come to this blog to read about barriers that impair communication and presentation skills, and how to break them down.
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Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Get Feedback
I remember the adrenaline rush of being observed. When supervisors would step into my classroom where I was teaching a lesson, or media critics had been spotted in the opening night audience, my mind would jump ahead to the moments later when facing these experts one on one. This always gave my adrenaline a boost.
Why? The anticipation of feedback offers a turning point. No longer is my perspective the only one that counts. It's the perspective of those in the audience. That's what my presenting/performing efforts are based on. No longer is my success based on what I experience - is based on the experience of those in my audience.
Why? The anticipation of feedback offers a turning point. No longer is my perspective the only one that counts. It's the perspective of those in the audience. That's what my presenting/performing efforts are based on. No longer is my success based on what I experience - is based on the experience of those in my audience.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Affirm Who You Are
Many business leaders and coaches will tell you to focus on the goals you set, follow through with the initiatives you're using to reach them and track your results. This is good advice. On top of that - and in addition, is the need for the introvert to affirm who they are.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Put a Face on It
The photo next to this post can lead you to way to have fun between you and another for Valentine's Day. Similarly, last Christmas I had fun with the Jib Jab site (creating jingles that are personified by me and my friends) when I cut and pasted photos of each of my No Excuses band members into a Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree animated jingle used for a holiday card from us.
Every time our friends and us played this holiday card, we laughed and laughed. Why? Because the dancing and maneuvering of the animated characters were fun, but once the characters had each of our faces on it, the animation was hysterical.
Every time our friends and us played this holiday card, we laughed and laughed. Why? Because the dancing and maneuvering of the animated characters were fun, but once the characters had each of our faces on it, the animation was hysterical.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Drop an Anchor
There's a pretty quick way to lose an audience. And that's with mindless wandering. Many of us introverts have a habit of moving while we pull our thoughts into view, looking at nothing in particular in the room while searching the dark recesses of our brains. Extroverts are full of energy - for them movement is large, fast and continual.
For a short time, either of these things is okay. It's an interesting view, from the audience's perspective. But make it a part of your routine, and it gets monotonous.
Try dropping an anchor - you pull the audience right in.
For a short time, either of these things is okay. It's an interesting view, from the audience's perspective. But make it a part of your routine, and it gets monotonous.
Try dropping an anchor - you pull the audience right in.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Embracing the Artist
A colleague of mine once said, "My artist side kicked in and gave me survival skills."
She had been sharing her professional journey, alerting me to her distaste for corporate life, and her
need to step out on her own. Mentioning her recent vacation, she was quick to point out her interest in gathering together with friends for walks, visits to parks and enjoyment of the community artists. A bookkeeper, she was pulled to the logic side of her brain during the day and mistakenly thought she should avoid the creative unless she was away from her desk. So she shut down that voice.
She had been sharing her professional journey, alerting me to her distaste for corporate life, and her
need to step out on her own. Mentioning her recent vacation, she was quick to point out her interest in gathering together with friends for walks, visits to parks and enjoyment of the community artists. A bookkeeper, she was pulled to the logic side of her brain during the day and mistakenly thought she should avoid the creative unless she was away from her desk. So she shut down that voice.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Introvert Barrier #2
Give someone a chance to vote on leaders, and if they know the candidates, they would select the introverts. Yet if they don't know the candidates, their guts would steer them away from the introverts. Why? Based on Barrier #2: perception gaps. (We have already addressed the intrapersonal barrier of introverts with the post Introvert Barrier #1. #2 - this post- is an interpersonal barrier)
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