On the Introvert Wish List

Extroverts, by nature, want things that go fast. Introverts, by nature, want things that go slow. The holidays are coming around the corner, and as we become more mindful of what those we love really appreciate, we can better support their wish list.

Included among the few things introverts wish for (and there are several future blog postings to address these) is Time to Think.

Getting the Introvert into Practice

In Cypris Chat I ran across an article on Readers' Theatre Circle written by Professor Merryman. In the article Merryman focuses on the exploratory activity of gathering folks together to read aloud cinema scripts, focusing on intonation, timing and other conversational and improvisational elements. As a theatre director and performer, I recall doing similar things and getting such creative insight as a result.

Of late, I made use of a variation on the activity to build my confidence prior to presenting a teleseminar.

#Introverts One on One

Although we tend to think of introverts as lacking social skills, when it comes to one on one relationships, introverts shine. And last night I felt on top of the world because of it!

A coaching client who has been with me for just over a year deserved recognition, so I took him out for dinner at a classy restaurant in Columbus. Through the meal we transitioned from one conversational topic to another, easily, for we have grown to enjoy each other's company. Ultimately, he asked me, "How can I help you grow your business?"

Perfect. At that point we launched a plan to again meet, review his contacts, and identify those who are isolated and want like-minded individuals to share new perspective for business growth through master mind group members, are using or plan to use public speaking for marketing purposes and want support or want a more involved communication coach. My client's wheels were spinning on my behalf.

After jotting a few notes down he looked up at me and said, "This next year I will be using you in more ways as well, especially with public speaking."

One dinner resulted in expanded services and referral support, not because the food was good. It was outstanding, though. It was because this client relationship was based on results, strong rapport and my continued interest showing I value his trust in me. Introverts shine one on one. The more we use this asset, the better.

For the Introvert Reader

Introverts can't have too many self-help resources. We eat them up! So today I want to focus on one for the job seeker.

I have already shared the resource, self-promotion for introverts, by Nancy Ancowitz. In my posts The Introvert's Marketing Game Plan and Now for the Don'ts of the Introvert's Marketing Game Plan you'll learn a lot of useful tips for the introvert business owner/sales person. Even the job seeker will benefit from some self-awareness insight.

But today, let's focus on another resource - The Successful Introvert: How to ehnance your job search and advance your career, by Wendy Gelberg.

Introvert Pain Point #1

There comes a day when we introverts say to ourselves, Won't it get any better? I had just hit my 40's, a time when I was heavily reviewing where I had been and where I hoped to go. I had been teaching high school English, speech and theatre and felt I had reached the pinnacle of my career in regards to what I could accomplish in the school district. But I still felt isolated.

Introvert Energy Needs

I've been keeping to a disciplined schedule of early morning blogging, exercise and then on to my day of appointments/research/marketing, etc. Add to this the evening networking and then reading for research and that brings the "No, not yet!" response when the 4:30 alarm goes off prior to the same schedule that includes an early morning networking breakfast.

All introverts need downtime. Put networking events and face to face meetings in their schedule, you better also insert time for themselves. Yesterday's schedule left me feeling exhausted by day's end. However, I know that if I forsake my routine of exercise and writing, my day is not given the boost of energy it needs nor do I feel purposeful in sharing my strengths with the world. So my discipline of coaching myself into what I need is key. By end of the exercise routine my step will be quick, my mind focused and my attitude ready to roll.

I've only 2 outside appointments today - which allows me the alone time to be purposeful in planning, taking a walk outdoors to reconnect with nature and build my energy reserve. In 52 years, I have learned my energy needs and what it takes to be purposeful.

Networking Tips for Introverts

At a recent networking event, my goal was to create ease with introverts. What may be surprising is my intention was easily accomplished. Once I walked into the event I noticed exactly what I expected: lots of social activity in the center and pockets of individuals at a small distance from the exuberant groups. It was to these individuals and pairings that I slowly connected with.

Attending a networking event means attending a non-structured environment. And the test of a non-structured environment is determining how to handle ourselves, when to make adjustments and finally deciding how much is enough. For the extrovert, networking is easy. Walk in and mingle. Enter existing conversations, introduce yourself and continue until the group thins out and you no longer have anyone left to talk to.

But for the introvert there are the constant butterflies while facing a group you don't want to expose yourself to. Managing the desire to walk away is the biggest challenge. At least until you exercise a few key tips.

Networking tips for the Introvert

• Tip: Look for someone who is hanging off to the side. We don't have to step into groups and existing conversations. We aren't wired that way. All we need do is find someone on the edges who is looking like the way we feel.
• Tip: Then walk up and say what you're thinking - "I don't know about you, but I prefer one-to-one connections at these events." They'll almost always agree with us, grin, shake our hand and say what they've been thinking, too. This opens the communication to one of true connection.
• Tip: Use your slow, natural pace. You'll have time for thinking and the introvert you're connecting to will have time for thinking as well.
• Tip: Set a goal of how many people to meet. This could be 3-5 people that we can handle before we need to walk away and recharge. I usually set a goal of three business cards to walk away with. I know I've met my goal when I've connected with 3 people that I want to reconnect with, for whatever reason. Maybe I've had 6 conversations - my goal is to walk away with 3 cards from new people or those I've met before that now I realize is someone to have coffee with for a particular reason. The cards in my pocket tell me when it's time to leave. Otherwise I keep walking along the fringes of the group to seek that next person, who like me, would rather be somewhere else. Except that they need to network to keep business going.
• Tip: Just say your first name. Folks connect easily when we simply say who we are vs. what we are. In time the work that we do will surface, but we don't have to push it out in front of us. We just need to be who we are.

Networking isn't just an activity for extroverts. If  you are an introvert, you now know the tips of how to make it work for you. It's a quiet game of knowing who to look for, where to go, what to say and when to leave.