James had just started the second reading when I heard..."You do not have, because you do not ask God."
He may have even noticed I sat up a bit more, leaning forward to listen, yet in the back of my mind came the plea, "Merri, you could have more business, you could do more in helping others feel good about how they communicate, if you'd only ask."
I am a communication coach - helping individuals both in presenting to groups as well as in communicating effectively one on one. Business this summer has been pretty dismal, and while I have continually adjusted my focus to the most pressing market need, there is one thing I haven't done. Turned to God for support. I coach others in business and sales to learn to ask - and this has been my own stumbling block. Quite the contradiction.
For several months we have been attending this church, very pleased with the weekly lessons, the depth of focus and the ease the minister and others have been relating to us. In our previous church back in Toledo, one of the biggest treats was prayer time. All who felt moved to contribute their concern or joy did so. At least it appeared that way from the intensity of participation. And I often shared my struggles, experiencing great relief afterwards.
Yet for some reason I have been stumbling in the Boulevard Presbyterian Church with offering my prayers aloud, especially those about business, which has been the foremost struggle in my mind. I've been restricting my participation purely from selfishness - feeling embarrassed instead of getting out of my own way, asking for prayer support and getting over it.
As the passage states, I haven't asked God, therefore I haven't received. Must I ask in public? Couldn't I simply ask from the silence of my own home, or car or head?These responses seem logical. Especially since there are another 7 days that must pass before I have the chance to ask aloud during the service. Yet it's from the humbling perspective, the one that forces me outside of my comfort zone that I will feel the relief.
I am reminded of what my spirit experiences when I am truly living up to the test: butterflies from either anxiety or excitement. Without the butterflies I am not taking the test. So now I have seven days to practice - from home and with those whom I am meeting. Ask, and you shall receive.
James 4:2 You do not have, because you do not ask God.
