Lawyers take note - our biggest flaw

Everything I coach I have personally needed to develop in - and to a degree, still need. Whether that is public speaking, interpersonal performance or intrapersonal behavior. So when I speak of our biggest flaw, I definitely include myself in the assertion.

We get in the way of ourselves far too often. Of all things, that's our biggest flaw. I don't care how old you are - I'm in my 50's. I don't care how educated you are, where you were raised, how many in your family or what your current professional responsibilities are. You and I still get in our own way and get ultra frustrated about it.

Is there anything we can do about this?

Merri's Tips - Part 9

 50. Remember your manners. It seems when we are tired, worn out or challenged by things in daily life, our manners get forgotten. Recall what you learned in kindergarten about being nice, friendly and personable.

51. Choose those times when manners aren't needed. Whether you're being bullied or physically attacked, manners will get you no place. Quite honestly, these are the times when you must show your muscle. Stand up. Speak up. Listen up. Buck up. These times are few, but how we play them will demonstrate what we are made of.

52. Do what it takes to find rest. Our minds and our bodies will be in constant motion if we don't quiet them. I'm not the one to say how to do so. Each of us inherently knows what it takes for us to be at rest. It's our job to do it. It's a commandment. And on the 7th day...

Quieting our mind is part of intrapersonal management. Becoming aware of our emotions  (what we are feeling) and regulating them (determining how we prefer to feel and then focusing on this) are essential for our minds to be quieted.

Gain confidence in this and we gain control over manners, relationships, responsibilities and how we present ourselves.  

Who Around You is Worthy of Good Treatment

Our weekend guests, Amanda and Aaron, will be in their 4th year at Ball State University where they each are working toward their degrees in music education.

As they were reflecting on insights gleaned of late, one comment surfaced: "It's now clear that we treat the school librarians well. They can be the ones buying texts and resources our budgets can't afford!"
I agree. Befriending someone who has the power to give you quality resources is essential. Harolyn Legg was that person for me.

A past school teacher myself, I've since recalled 2 other important relationships in my tenure of teaching: the school secretary and the custodian. From Nancy Stillberger to Pam Schimmoehler, I realized the role of school secretary is more of a roller coaster ride than that of a classroom teacher. They deal with all the complainers - not just some, but all.

Merri's Tips - Part 8

47. Take care of yourself. Instead of saying yes to everyone who needs assistance, decide in advance what type of things to say yes to, how many at one time, and then you'll learn the art of saying No. It can sound like this:
"I am already committed to 'x amount' of things and feel it would be irresponsible to commit to more."
"Thank you for thinking of me, but I am committed to "x" right now."

Understanding your commitment and time boundaries is one of the biggest ways to take care of yourself.

Lawyer Communication: from Writing to Speaking

There's no doubt about it. Lawyers are great writers. Whether this is based on natural gifts or skills they've developed over the years, it serves them well to craft the content, the flow and the wordsmithing of their written messages.

Shift to speaking, and the circumstances can flip-flop from lawyers being confident to suddenly overwhelmed. Put many lawyers in front of a group for a public speaking event and the challenges they face include:

Merri's Tips - Part 6

40. Shape the voice in your head first thing in the morning. Otherwise, you will wine about getting out of bed, forget what you're so good at, procrastinate on using your abilities and forget why your life is so good. Shaping the voice in your head refers to remembering your value, what makes you unique and putting this focus and those skills into use. These are your intrapersonal skills, the communication skills that set the tone for the day and determine your ability to show up in life.

 Lawyers can use praise, encouragment as well as discipline, yet if they aren't willing to do these things for themselves, no amount of it from others will help.