3 energies that impact any work environment

A few years ago I explored the topic of Highly Sensitive People when I picked up Elaine Aron's book from the library. The title and topic made an impact on me, for I have a need for quiet, calm, tranquil environments. When in these environments I get focus and clarity. Seeing a book with a label like this immediately gave me a connection to a group of people I assumed I belong in. Now that I've read it I can affirm membership in this category. (If you are feeling the same way, I recommend you find a copy of Aron's book and/or workbook to gain insight for yourself as well.)

Sensitive person or not, there are 3 energies at work in all workplaces that will affect you. Without knowing this, all we can say for sure is, we are experiencing something that gives us hope or that saps us. But knowing these energies we can monitor and address them for best results.

For Business Building - 1 single activity is all it takes

For the business owner and those managing the pipeline for the next sale, there is a single activity to exploit. And I mean exploit in the best way. Do it again and again and again. Often. With zeal.

Many think it's about picking up the phone. Although many salesfolks get appointments this way, it takes tremendous time while depleting the energy of the person hearing the phone incessantly ring and go to voicemail, or getting the not so interested responses.

Using direct mail gets the message out, but where? Most commonly, to the closest dumpster or trash container.

Networking events are great. They allow us to mingle and meet new folks, exchange business cards, yet the audience may not be receptive due to one thing. So far, they don't know us.

The number one thing that boosts business for any business owner or sales person is public speaking. Public speaking gives us the chance to start a relationship. It gives us a chance to offer some free information and tips and it gives us a chance to handle questions of interest all without threat. Public speaking puts us in front of many indviduals(and can lead to many groups) who generally already have an interest in our message - unlike the gatekeeper, mail sorter or networker who is out to drink with the buds.

Sure, public speaking is the most common fear the public faces. But many who fear heights, bungy jump. Many who fear death, aggressively seek adventure. Those who fear public humiliation face their fears and speak often in public. And what does it get them? Confidence. Recognition. Attention. Credibility. Interest. Curiousity. An audience. A following. Trust. Business.

Got business to develop? Start facing the fear of the meager pipeline by facing what it takes to get in front of the audience. Let that pipeline challenge drive you to the #1 activity. Get ready, get up, move forward in front of the audience and get speaking!

Challenging Expectations

It's no secret our country's general populice has had its share of controversy over gender equality. From ownership to responsibility, voting rights to income earned, civil debate continues over what is fair, equal and expected.

Whether this controversy originates from the religious platform or has seen its greater influence there, it becomes a test of wills to enter the conversation, conduct ones' self with poise through it and/or conclude with any degree of self-respect as a result.

My work with the attorney community brings this controversy back into view, even today. As I look to support individuals who wish to speak with confidence in the lawyer market, often I am led to supporting women. Is it because women are by nature less secure? I believe the answer is no. Is it because women attorneys face circumstances men may not face? Perhaps.

Interestingly, most of the attorneys who turn to my help are men. However, the issue of female attorneys facing challenges in the profession continue to be brought to my attention - even by males.

Merri, what programs can you offer us at the Supreme Court to support Women Attorneys?

A year ago this question was posed by a gentleman with a keen eye and interest in supporting female attorneys. At the time I was unaware of the challenges they face, the demographics of most firms, let alone I paid little attention to the history of the profession. Since then, I have marvelled at the journey of several FIRST women attorneys.



Bella Mansfield, influenced by both her brother and husband to study law, was the first female in the US to earn a law degree - the same year women were admitted to law school. Belle Mansfield (later, self-fashioned Arabella) passed the Iowa bar exam in 1868 and then, in 1869, she was called to the bar of the state, thus becoming the first woman ever called to practice law in the world; by some definitions, the world's first woman lawyer.

"We feel justified in recommending to the Court that construction which we deem authorized not only by the language of the law itself, but by the demands and necessities of the present time and occasion. Your Committee takes unusual pleasure in recommending the admission of Mrs. Mansfield, not only because she is the first lady who has applied for this authority in the State, but because in her examination she has given the very best rebuke possible to the imputation that ladies cannot qualify for the practice of law; and we feel confident from the intimation of the Court, given on the application made that we speak not only the sentiments of the Court and of your committee, but of the entire membership of the bar, when we say that we heartily welcome Mrs. Mansfield as one of our members, and we most cordially recommend her admission." See this website for more on Bella Mansfield: http://www.duhaime.org/lawmuseum/lawarticle-418/mansfield-belle-18461911.aspx

Although she never used her license, she entered the women's suffragette movement, stayed in academia and encouraged the promotion of women for their intellect as well as their intuition.

Many milestones have been accomplished in the female litigation world today.



"Claudia Gordon, Esq., is the first deaf lawyer who is African American and female, and also the first deaf student to graduate from the American University (AU) Washington College of Law, in Washington, DC, in 2000. At AU, Gordon specialized in disability rights law and policy. Since earning her juris doctorate from AU, Gordon has been active in working to ensure the rights of people with disabilities are respected." Thank you, Jamie Berke, About.com Guide,Updated May 04, 2009

Since many attorneys enter the political environment to become public servants, we also are familiar with Jennifer Grandholm, current governor of Michigan. A few firsts about her include,



She was elected Michigan's first female attorney general in 1998. Granholm was elected governor in 2002 and reelected in 2006 and was once considered a possible Supreme Court nominee.

So if female attorneys are making such progress today, are things getting any easier?

This morning I read an article written by attorney Heather McCloskey in 2006 who shares the challenges women attorneys face. Whether from judges, clients or opposing attorneys, there is still a rite of passage (as would be expected of any professional, let alone female) to be endured.

In my humble summary, it appears that if women are willing to defend their right to own a career, to stand in a firm or courtroom surrounded predominantly by men, to be referred to as a clerk vs. lead counsel and to be expected to wear skirts vs. slacks, they can continue to make progress. Pioneers can be women too, if these women are up to it. If they are, there will be deference to another style of communicating with clients who need it, they will continue to prove logical and reasonable thinking while also being intuitive, and there will be professionals who connect on very influential levels.

To all you female attorneys, speak with confidence. We need you.

Inappropriate Strategy for Managing Self during Conflict

So last month I had my hair cut from the same guy at the same place I've been going to for the past two years. I like this guy because he knows how to cut thick hair and gives me a short cut I can rely on. It's just short enough that it's edgy, which reflects the confidence appearance I am after.

He and I have really developed an ability to talk openly about ourselves, which leads us each to look forward to our next visit. Hence, in the previous visit I shared my enthusiasm for going to Miami FL where I would be presenting two workshops for a firm's annual conference, enjoying the arrangements downtown Miami, and looking forward to my first major speaking engagement for a private group. So when Roger suggested I come in early the week of my departure for a complimentary "spruce up", I took him up on it.

That afternoon came and I added a massage to the time there, supporting a new associate who offers chair massage. Shoot, why not since this visit wasn't costing me anything? $15 was easy enough to afford. Of course the massage was enjoyable, which made my haircut even more enjoyable. But when Roger gave me back my credit card receipt after ringing me up I realized something was wrong. There was the cut and the massage listed, an amount I wasn't planning to spend. Additionally, I realized he had forgotten his complimentary offer to me.

Stunned, I said nothing. First, I didn't want to make a scene in his shop - which I wouldn't have made, had I addressed it correctly. And secondly, I decided that I was putting too much importance on the dollar. So I signed, and drove away.

My method for handling that conflict was avoidance. Eventually I let this scenario eat away at me, because I didn't like how I handled it. Which led me to call him. I knew if I didn't, I would begin to question Roger's actions, lose trust in him and no longer have the relationship I had. Simply because I didn't address the conflict using the appropriate strategy.

So I called him. He apologized for being so forgetful, took the charge off my bill and committed to making it up to me, all of which he has done.

This scenario is less about Roger and more about me. And the way I tend to manage conflict. Of the 5 strategies we could use to manage conflict, most of us use only one or two. Yet depending on the scenario, any of the 5 could be appropriate.

The strategy I used was avoidance. Now in some cases, avoidance works. When the other person is a relationship that doesn't matter to you or your focusing on things of more importance than the conflict issue. In my case, I couldn't stop thinking about the extra charge to my credit card. Trying to get my mind off it, I played cd's in my car, I focused on the traffic around me, but the scenario was unsettled in my head. I kept going back to the moment Roger charged me for both fees. Clearly this wasn't an avoidance-appropriate strategy issue. Additionally, Roger was an important relationship to me. I didn't want to distrust him, so I needed to give him the chance to address my concern.

The strategy I wanted to use but opted out of is Forcing him to rethink what he was doing or to hear the pre-arranged condition. For some reason I resisted, yet I see that under the time constraint of having to sign on the dotted line, it was the most appropriate strategy. Speak up!

Want to know about the 5 strategies, go to this link. It's good information. And it can save you some time, relationship and grief.

Finding difficulty understanding what's really at the core of the conflict? The information above won't help until you can objectively see what you're dealing with. In that case, contact me.

From a Position of Strength

While superman hoists challenges above his head before flinging them out of the way, onlookers can see the effect on his armpits. Does that hold back Superman? No. Does that hold back the rest of us? Well, usually.

The American adage of "Never let them see you sweat" has gripped our collective psyche to the point that many well-equipped individuals avoid challenges.

I must confess, that has often been my stumbling block - fear of how others would view me or my actions when I step up to the challenge. During these challenging times I typically view my perspective from a position of weakness. Not a very appropriate view.

My body responds with butterflies, my face and ears redden and I feel the need to flee just when the universe has brought me an opportunity to demonstrate my value. Instead, I decline.

Looking at this from another perspective, I wish I could just flick some sense into my head. (Usually this comes after tipping a cold brew, yet sometimes it happens while at work, too!) The more I practice stepping up to the plate, facing my challenges with a strategy of using my gifts and talents, I am in the flow...similar to golfer Bagger Vance.




It's about seeing what's possible.  From that view, my strengths calm me, and then I move into action as though being divinely directed. I don't stand in my own way. Instead, I move forward. Coming from a position of strength.

Athletes understand this, as well as stage performers, musicians, wise sages and priests. Tapping into our inner strengths - our gifts - offers us a way to purposely move forward. We all have the potential.

Facing challenges today? Take'em on from a position of strength.