Performance Reviews - they are worth a speaker's time

Thanks to a class I am taking through the National Speaker Association, I have returned to the practice of asking for feedback at the conclusion of each of my presentations. NSA highly suggests using a form of evaluation, suggesting we speakers craft our own form with the intent to get specific feedback beyond a rating or checklist.

Usually I know the tone these evaluations will take by the time I am 2-3 minutes into my presentation, let alone by the time I close. What I don't know is the specifics. And that's what matters. Sure, evaluations can affirm our sense of value, yet they can also offer insight with suggestions designed to encourage and expand our ideas.

I Already Know, and So Do You

I have been awake since 4am, after not going to sleep until 1. The trigger for this unrest is something I have experienced before. I feel anxious about facing my next audience.

My anxiety stems from being expected to speak on a topic uncommon for my usual addresses.  And since my topic of focus is one uncommon to me, I feel burdened with needing to get more information. How much is enough?

Ponder These: quotes on introversion

Friday is a great day for reflecting on the past week, the week ahead and things relevant to who we are. Introverts, see what you think of the following 5 quotes on introversion:




"I'm an introvert at heart... And show business - even though I've loved it so much - has always been hard for me."
Roy Rogers



"I was a very shy and introverted person, and it was hard for me to talk to people and make relationships."
Gabriela Sabatini

“I just realized my lips are inside out. They should be turned inwards, because I spend most of my time talking to myself. ”
Jarod Kintz

“Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay—in small doses.”
― Jonathan Rauch

“Having people in different optimal environments increases the chances of survival of the human race as a whole. It is nature's way to preserve her species.”
― Marti Olsen Laney, The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World

We know it's hard, but...

Yesterday I shared a post on preparing being the key  (Introverts Can Prepare to Step Out of the Comfort Zone) to motivation. This morning the TODAY show put focus on Why It's Hard for Women to Speak Up in Meetings. The question is, if you know there is a reason for why you behave certain ways, does this give you an excuse to continue doing so?

When I was teaching high school speech class, moments before students would get up to present I would hear them say, "But it's hard!" As though this is an excuse to not take action.

Yep, it's hard to get out of bed, it's hard to hear no, it's hard to speak up in meetings, to attend networking events and to give public speeches, yet that's a silly excuse for not doing so. Preparing for it to be hard while coaching ourselves to do it anyway is half the battle. Soon we find what was once thought hard is now easy.

I cringed when I saw the title of the news magazine for the above focus on women in meetings. We don't need any more reason to not speak up. What we need are reasons to speak up and direction in how to accomplish it.

Reasons to speak up
1. We have ideas that need to be heard
2. We provide sensitivity
3. We understand the value of letting all voices be heard
4. We create diverse perspective, that in the sharing, benefits the group as a whole
5. It gives us confidence

Similarly to introverts, women are thinkers as well as feelers. Women stand just as much of a chance in offering substance as men.

How to speak up
1. Plan for it
2. Practice it
3. Do it again

Although we make it harder than it is, it may FEEL hard, but it's fairly simple to speak up. Sure, there are times you will fall into the common pattern shared above, but focus on the reasons speaking up will serve a purpose. You can let your voice be heard.

Introverts Can Prepare to Step Out of the Comfort Zone

Yesterday I wrote Yes, You Can Gain Visibility, mentioning those times when introverts struggle with being seen and still maintaining the introvert comfort. In the article, 10 Ways Introverts Can Get Noticed at Work, Jhaneel Lockhard refers to my favorite author, Nancy Ancowitz, when he says Prepare for the times you have to step out of your comfort zone. Continuing the idea of being seen, let's approach it now from another perspective - being seen within your organization.

Most attorneys start out in a firm where, for the first few years, work is provided to them until they can prove their own ability to originate or business build on their own. From the partner perspective, this is not a time to rest on their laurels of simply being qualified to do the work. The associates must also demonstrate their confidence in doing so.

I once had a client who was struggling to take initiative in firm meetings. She attended, and she had intelligence to share, yet her meeting behavior held her back in many people's eyes. Eyes averted, and head turned down, her nonverbals spoke aloud her lack of confidence. Further behaviors of not speaking - whether to confirm or add to the conversation - forced her supervisors/partners to not only be concerned about the tone she set at firm meetings, but also gave concern about her handling of clients.

Lockhard and Ancowitz suggest preparation is important when anticipating visibility. Whether we are attending internal or external meetings, consider what agenda items you will be able to offer insight in. Further, stepping out of the comfort zone means connecting. It means getting out of our head and into the present with those around us. It means initiating conversation as well as simply participating in it. So as you prepare which items to speak to, make notes on how you will keep your ideas in bullet points, clear and concise.

We introverts who get out of their head when with others - still listening, still observing and still reflecting - allow those around us to trust us. That's worth getting out of our comfort zones.

Yes, you can gain visibility

As an introverted business professional, I am challenged by the need to be seen. Maybe not by everyone everywhere, yet I need to be seen by those I am most able to help - attorneys. I need to be visible where attorneys are.

Although people who know me question whether I am an introvert, I know the difficulty involved with getting out of my head and into conversation. I may conduct myself well socially, yet I am constantly pushing myself to demonstrate my introvert assets - deep thinking, clear understanding of my expertise and meaningful value. These assets, though valuable, mean nothing unless I am a visible sign of them. Can you relate?

Fun Quotes on Speaking

Because it's fun to have a good quip or two when the time arises, here are a few comical quotes on public speaking I found from a few sources:

"Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening."

— Dorothy Sarnoff

"Speak when you are angry—and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."

— Laurence J. Peter

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

— George Jessel

Above all found at The Grinning Planet

A few more...

"When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't speak for a year and a half" - Gracie Allen

"Before God, we are all equally wise - and equally foolish" - Albert Einstein

found at Public Speaking Solutions

And let me end with:

Q: What would you call Sir Lancelot if he lost his voice?
A. Silent Night

Some people are considered fools.
Some people speak and remove all doubt.
take from AskMetaFilter

Hope you enjoyed this fun diversion! Happy Thursday.

Add to Your #Introvert Reading List

There's good reason to assume that if you're reading this as an introvert, you appreciate reading - see There's Power in New Information. In the past I have mentioned books to read - For the Introvert Reader. Additionally, today I am adding to the resources with more good stuff!

NPR and Oprah have focused in the past month on Susan Cain for her book, Quiet. I am eagerly awaiting that read. Have you read it yet? In the meantime, I just finished The Introverted Leader - Building on Your Quiet Strength, by Jennifer Kahnweiler. Written in 2009, this book addresses our temperament as it compares to the many activities and  responsibilities of the leader. Of late, I have used it's focus on public speaking, meeting participation and managing up. Addressing the 4 key challenges we introverts face, this Kahnweiler moves on to give practical guidance in conquering these challenges within the context of each leadership activity.


What are you reading? Let me know so I may add to my list as well.

It's Your Business to Speak

Think of public speakers and immediately extroverted communicators come to mind. They are eager to say what's on their mind, animated, expressive and energetic - all things that can lend to entertaining speakers. I enjoy the extroverted speakers.

I also want to learn and be enlightened by presenters. Here is where the introvert comes in. Put them on the platform and the audience benefits from their knowledge.

Are you in business? If so, it's your business to speak. Speaking is the fastest way to create relationship with a large body of people who otherwise would not know you. This is the key to the first step in business - visibility. Today's business dealings are less about direct mail and written communication and more based on relationship - putting a face to a name.

Remove Your Cloak

When I think of chivalry in its truest form, I recall the image of someone being willing to help another save face when approaching a difficult situation. If there is a puddle between the unprotected and their destination, a chivalrous person would remove their outer layer - their own cloak - lay it down directly over the puddle and then take the hand of the unprotected while guiding them over the cloak.

With chivalry we help someone save face (or foot) while they step precariously into a treacherous zone. Our goal is to help them emerge without a scratch or a flaw in the end.

In the presentation world many speakers attempt this set-up yet they fall short. We have heard the adage, tell'em what you're going to tell'em, tell'em and then tell'em what you've told'em. This stays in our mind as a way of creating structure for an otherwise unstructured event. It's the table of contents, so to speak, for a communication form that doesn't usually have one. A table of contents gives us a glance at what to expect.

I have heard professional speakers decry, "For goodness sake, don't just launch into your presentation. At least warm up the audience first." Here is an attempt at chivalry. Yet the same speakers offer meak means. They suggest "make nice" gestures such as Say goodmorning, Thank the coordinator, Give the audience a chance to adjust thier positions while they get used to you. To me these actions are little more than pointing to a puddle and saying, "look out" but offering no physical or emotional support in navigating it.

Speakers, remove your cloak. Your audience, seated where they are, can see you are addressing a topic that many of them struggle with. (for the most part, that's the case with what we presenters do - we address topics of growth or enlightenment) Simply bringing it to them is like dropping them off in front of puddles and saying "jump!".

In the opening of your presentation, it's important to not only provide a roadmap for how you are navigating them through. It's important you take the time to assist them over the hardest part. I call this addressing the elephant in the room.

I usually pose 2 questions in my introductions. The first is to unify the audience to the topic at hand. In many of my presentations the topic addresses communication, whether public speaking or other forms. My first question will be something like "How many of you believe communication is key to your business-building success?" To this, almost all audience raise their hands. This unifies them with me. Their attitude in focusing is positive.

My second question addresses the elephant in the room, helping me to take my cloak off to come to their aid. "How many of you know exactly how to communicate for effective business-building?" And to this question, most hesitate. Immediately I come to their aid with a statement of apology "I am not trying to make you feel bad. Instead, I want you to know this is a struggle we all go through. To ease this struggle of yours I will share with you today a technique of 3 key practices to help make your communication lead to effective business-building. With my 2nd question I have removed my cloak - taken myself from safe, protected territory to the position of "taking the fall".

From my introduction I lead immediately into the nature of our struggles, the status quo of our efforts, and point to the hope all the audience has of better experiences ahead. This is the moment when I actually put down my cloak for the unprotected. Until then they know not how they are crossing the threshold. Now they know and begin to cross with me.

It's not enough to tell'em what you're going to tell 'em. Support them. Address the elephant in the room by taking off your own cloak. Then lay it at their feet in a chivalrous fashion to help them save face in their travels of your message. It simply takes time and willingness to serve. Many say chivalry is a lost art. Come to well-designed presentations. You'll see it.

Get Feedback

I remember the adrenaline rush of being observed. When supervisors would step into my classroom where  I was teaching a lesson, or media critics had been spotted in the opening night audience, my mind would jump ahead to the moments later when facing these experts one on one. This always gave my adrenaline a boost.

Why? The anticipation of feedback offers a turning point. No longer is my perspective the only one that counts. It's the perspective of those in the audience. That's what my presenting/performing efforts are based on. No longer is my success based on what I experience - is based on the experience of those in my audience.

Affirm Who You Are

Many business leaders and coaches will tell you to focus on the goals you set, follow through with the initiatives you're using to reach them and track your results. This is good advice. On top of that - and in addition, is the need for the introvert to affirm who they are.

Put a Face on It

The photo next to this post can lead you to way to have fun between you and another for Valentine's Day. Similarly, last Christmas I had fun with the Jib Jab site (creating jingles that are personified by me and my friends) when I cut and pasted photos of each of my No Excuses band members into a Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree animated jingle used for a holiday card from us.

Every time our friends and us played this holiday card, we laughed and laughed. Why? Because the dancing and maneuvering of the animated characters were fun, but once the characters had each of our faces on it, the animation was hysterical.