For Lawyers - 4 Guidelines for Improving your Professional Pace

Not to be confused with PACE University, whether online or in New York - which has a school of law- or with the P.A.C.E. program of Houghton University, which boasts a management degree for working adults, pace in this blog post has to do with speed appropriate to the moment.

For decades now females have entered the business and professional world thinking they need to increase their pace to keep up with their male counterparts. Whether in the corporate setting or otherwise, there is a sense that a quickened pace rules the culture.

In sales, the driven often rise to the top quickly. One mark of who they are rests with their speed - accelerated compared to others.

Yet pace, in all its NASCAR glory, has little to do with high speed when creating success. Ironically, high speed has many things to do with creating failure.

Lawyers: Take a fearless and searching moral inventory.

Not only do addicts work the 12 steps, so do their personal development supporters.

I learned this recently after lunching with a friend who told me of her journey with self assessment. She is now on the 4th step, the one that takes tremendous courage and objectivity. Taking a fearless moral inventory of ourselves helps us break down barriers, and it helps the AA member move forward in their program.

What does this have to do with attorneys? Everything. Just like in other professions, the more we manage ourselves, the better our influence with others. The 4th step is pivotal for courtroom influence, office/firm effectiveness and client development. Without it, we flounder.

After my luncheon with the above friend, I decided to take a fearless moral inventory of myself, only to find there are key issues I need to address.

Flexibility

In many ways I am a control freak. Starting with organization and/or time management, I prefer things to have structure, for I know I work best within defined structures. Yet, I often am in unstructured environments that others don't want structured. The lesson for me here is to give up the need to control and become flexible. Today I make a point to allow myself to adjust as needed. Big lesson for me, yet one that I've already seen beneficial.

For instance, the more days off I take (I'm a workaholic) the steadier my business. This doesn't make sense to me, yet it tells me I need to just let go and trust. This will continue to be a tough lesson for me, yet the more I note the benefits in being flexible, the greater my motivation.

Vulnerability

Along with my need to control is my need to explain my expertise. I know where this comes from. It's a barrier pattern called, Never Feeling Good Enough that plays in my head. It's my own experience that when given constructive criticism, I feel deflated instead of educated. Not everyone responds this way. Nor should I.

What I know about vulnerability is, the more often I admit mistakes, ask for help, or seek perspective the better equipped I am in the future. Yet when I offer apologies, I often fall into the trap of explaining my actions. Unfortunately, my apology appears ingenuine - and it probably is. If I were to simply apologize, offering no excuses, I am closer to building trust, feeling less anxious and on the path to moving forward. Vulnerability is essential for leaders, followers, business builders, professionals, parents and educators. Vulnerability is the key to my own humility which is crucial for understanding and love.

Preparedness

I must take the time to think, to reflect, to observe and to understand. When I do, I prepare myself to self-manage. Instead of constantly running and doing,  this practice allows me to be grounded in what's going on around me and how I'm contributing.

Not to be contrary to flexibility, the more prepared I am with handling unplanned circumstances, the better equipped I am for mentally being flexible. When I taught high school, it used to really throw me off if, while in the middle of a classroom activity the fire alarm would sound. My first instinct was usually - why weren't we alerted?! Didn't administration respect us enough not to interrupt our efforts?

Although at times the alarms were due to true emergencies, sometimes I had simply failed to remember earlier communications of upcoming classroom disruptions. This led to lack of preparation on my part. My busy schedule has usually prohibited preparedness - thus to be better prepared I need to take control of my schedule.

Taking a fearless and moral inventory of ourselves requires reviewing the things that upset us, then taking responsibility for what we need to correct in ourselves. Not easy, yet when we take this step, just like addicts, we will move forward in our own development.

What it takes to be a tree

Yesterday I read a tweet from the author of Be a Tree, a presentation pointer. Wonderful advice about how to come across as though you stand for something. Here is some of what he said:

Stand still as a presenter. Get your weight on both feet. Balance yourself. Do not stick one hip out like a pop singer. Instead, be the tree. But do not sway. Stand as if you are guarding something sacred, as if you stand for something important. Then, after holding this position for a reasonable time, move to another spot and stand still again. Stillness and movement is very near the crux of any performance art.

Sorry, somehow I lost the author of the post. Yet with my background in theatre and my current focus in presentation, I applaud how he illustrates the quality.

One of my clients has experienced the difference between waffling around ideas and how to express them and in being solid and practiced in her ideas, language and movement. She feels an incredible boost in confidence as she stands with purpose, sharing an idea and its illustration, then moving into her next point, ending with purpose on a thought.

I recall the time I was auditioning for a role that many contemporary actors would call an "actor's dream" part. The Guys was Harvest Theatre's new focus in 2006, the 5th year anniversary of the tragedy on Twin Towers and the many engulfed in fatalities. The show features the captain of the fireman unit that lost all their lives during the rescue attempt. Also filling out the cast is the journalist he partnered with to write all the eulogies he would have to deliver.

The journalist role is meaty - rich, dramatic, funny and real. During auditions I had a wealth of experiences to call on as I stood in front of the casting committee. Unfortunately, I didn't simply stand. When many of us are before a group and not hiding behind a podium or desk, we tend to fidget or pace or gesticulate like crazy. That's what I was doing. And in that process, my voice was loosing control. Not to say that I was screaming - instead I was underselling the script because my body was overselling it.

The director said to me, "Let's try this again. Stand solidly, without movement and take it again." Immediately I understood. In my second attempt I got connected to the monologue. The words had depth, the moment had meaning and I got control back. It worked - for I not only ended up with the part. The performances were rich and true. We learned how to move as well as how to stand and deliver. We were trees.

It takes a few simple things to be a tree:
focus, energy and trust

Certainly with focus we understand the "through-line" of our message. We know the set-up, the connection to the audience and the end result. This doesn't come to us immediately. It takes time to play around with the message enough to clarify where we're going. Then the delivery requires feedback, or at least the observance of people's feedback. Focus is the first step in becoming a tree.

Doesn't it sound odd that it also takes energy? Well it does. One cannot hold themselves solidly without breathing deeply and often. Mental alertness is jazzed with energy. Similar to singing and holding a note, the ability to hold a stance is "rooted" in the energy it takes to stay solid. Mentally we must pump up ourselves for the effort. Relax and the tree-like properties sag.

Amateur speakers seem to believe they are hampered by not trusting the audience's reactions to them. It's actually just the opposite. Those we must trust when speaking or performing is ourselves. We can handle it. We can still ourselves in the moment and create an engaging connection. When the other two properties are mastered (focus and energy), trust is a ready quality.

Tough times require being a tree. Whether on the phone with a customer, whether talking in front of a group or whether performing a rehearsed production, plan and practice focus, energy and trust. Prepare to be a tree.

Success comes from Accountability

Over the past 30 days, several business owners have demonstrated the power accountability has in helping them accomplish things they earlier had ability - but little drive - to do.

This week my focus is on the professional who made a practice of carrying his baggage around.

A man with many things on his plate, (we'll call him Frank) Frank would put out fires like the best of'em and at the end of the day, he would walk his carefully packed box full of all the projects he intended to complete to his car. He would stash it next to him, drive home and open the passenger door so he could haul his box into the house, hoping to find the energy to tackle it.

Frank was doing nothing more than dragging his baggage around. Day after day, week upon week and month upon month Frank did the same thing. What got dragged home got dragged back to the office every single day.



A self-described conflict avoider, Frank feared many things. His box full of projects was one of them. To make himself feel better, he carted it around. Yet he never really felt better.

Eventually he said "yes" to joining the Business Owners' Accountability Group I facilitate. Of course, he said yes for about 4 months prior to attending, for he couldn't get it scheduled.

Little things threw Frank. If he thought there would be a problem, he would avoid it. He knew he wanted to face his fears, yet he dreaded what it would involve. Just like that box, he kept saying yes without following through. The day he bit the bullet and went to BOAG, he learned how empowering it is to have a small group (under 7) of business owners around all talking about problems they were experiencing. When he realized he wasn't the only one with challenges, he felt better. Then when he saw the excitement others expressed with handling earlier challenges, Frank was motivated.

He told us all he would address his baggage, open it, pull out something small and complete it, every few hours in the evening. Soon he realized it was all small. It was all very do-able, and eventually he tackled the entire box in the 30 days between our meetings.

Frank is like so many other people who want to make changes but don't know how to address them. He wanted to say yes to taking on the responsibility but he didn't know how to talk to the voice in his head that was overwhelming him by the amount of work ahead. He has now begun to control himself - namely, that negative and overwhelming voice that keeps putting barriers in his path.

Now that Frank has a group making him accountable, he also has a group celebrating his successes. In small steps, Frank is shifting from a man Avoiding Conflict to one realizing that conflict is a clever disguise for a chance to prove something to ourselves.

Running on Fumes

Within a year of getting my driver's license, one of my biggest fears as a 16-year old was running out of gas. All I could picture was being stranded on a rural county road with no more fuel in the tank and the red light indicator blinding me.

Of course that was before the time of cell phones, so I also pictured myself walking at 10pm to a nearby farmhouse to seek a gallon of gas. An introvert, I would have hated simply ASKING for the gas, let alone dealing with the conditions of pitch dark, fear of danger on the isolated road, the search for a farmhouse and the need to find a willing neighbor.

Ironically, I don't have the same fear when I've metaphorically exhausted my fuel with early mornings and late nights. I don't consider that I may collapse under pressure - instead I fear I will look bad. So I get up early to hit the gym, to work out with Ipod tunes and get my body revved up, thinking there is a spare tank in there somewhere, and collapsing exhausted in the evening once I let myself shut down.

When it's up to me to personally run on fumes, my heart instead of my head wins out. When I'm loving my activities I keep pushing them, driven by enthusiasm - the fumes of passion. But when I am presented the opportunity to commit to activities I'm uninterested in, my head wins out. NO, I say. I need my rest. I need my space. I will have to pass.

Seemingly the fumes I choose to run on are selective. That's a good thing, though. It allows me to prioritize, commit and develop a practice of refueling, so I can drive forward with confidence. Nothing but green lights and Full signals going on here!

With a Little Help from my Friends

Today I gave a presentation with the Women Lawyers of Franklin County. Yes, with them. Although I was scheduled to speak TO them, I knew better than to do that.

I was brought in to help them speak with confidence. I am not an attorney. So the only thing I had to share with them that I am an expert on is sharing my story of the subject and then offering key questions. To make this happen I needed to have their engagement, so I asked for their help.

I involved them in key demonstrations and meaningful conversations, when it mattered. And all I had to do was invite them forward, ask my questions and let them respond. In this way they demonstrated what it took to speak with confidence/or not, to break down their fear/or not, and I could guide them through this discovery.

What did it take for me to do this? It took knowing when to shut up. What this really means is, asking for help. Any time I ask for help - depending on how I do it, that is - I get people eager to participate. Now it may take a moment or two, but once someone decides to help, plenty of others do as well. That is such an enjoyment to watch - an experiment in control all of itself.

By the end of the presentation, people were running into each other making their way to me to say what a great presentation it was! And I just laughed to myself because I knew what they really meant - they loved having the chance to get involved. To see others they knew well actually be up front in meaningful dialogue over things that really matter.

Yes, Merri, it does matter when you step aside and ask for help. Do it more often. Friendships built on likability and trust come from it.