3 energies that impact any work environment

A few years ago I explored the topic of Highly Sensitive People when I picked up Elaine Aron's book from the library. The title and topic made an impact on me, for I have a need for quiet, calm, tranquil environments. When in these environments I get focus and clarity. Seeing a book with a label like this immediately gave me a connection to a group of people I assumed I belong in. Now that I've read it I can affirm membership in this category. (If you are feeling the same way, I recommend you find a copy of Aron's book and/or workbook to gain insight for yourself as well.)

Sensitive person or not, there are 3 energies at work in all workplaces that will affect you. Without knowing this, all we can say for sure is, we are experiencing something that gives us hope or that saps us. But knowing these energies we can monitor and address them for best results.

Merri's Tips - Part 4

19. Take the edge off. Learn what works best for you - a cold beer, a shot of something stiffer, a good laugh, a massage, or just getting up and walking away. Telling yourself you can handle it without that just makes you edgier. We all need to take the edge off. Otherwise we treat others or ourselves in regretful ways.

20. Know what is worth saying YES to. Once we identify what is worth making a commitment to, we can then say NO to other things that get in the way.

21. Don't take things personally. But understand that others will. Especially kids. And kids who never grew up.

Merri's Tips - Part 3

13. Thinking doesn't replace doing. Although thinking is hugely important, deciding is moreso. Better yet is acting on the decision. Action is what makes thinking powerful.

14. If you have questions, ask them.  Take advantage of time spent with peers, trainers, coaches, supervisors and mentors. Any moment can be a teachable moment for someone needing to inform us. Help them get that opportunity.

15. If there is tension in the room, work through it. Tense moments, themselves, are teachable moments. Avoid shutting down or ignoring it. Instead, put on your curiousity cap and discover what's going on.

Merri's Tips - Part 2

7. If you're a solo business owner, create a structure for daily affirmations. We all appreciate and/or thrive on recognition, let alone praise. Working solo means we aren't regularly around folks put in the position to give us this. Create it. Write out affirmations daily. (My talents and ideas earn me $___ per month)  Fill in the blank. With a structure like this, our focus goes to what we're good at, blessed in, or wanting to accomplish. This keeps us motivated into action. Face it - solo business owners need motivation!

8. Pay attention to your gut. Not that you need to watch your weight - or maybe you do. Paying attention to your gut means to trust your instincts. They usually indicate caution or opportunity. Even when you can't pinpoint the logic, pay attention to it.

Going with our gut is hardest when we are put in a position to explain our actions. Prepare yourself with a simple plan. You could find yourself saying to someone, "I'm not sure why I'm feeling the need to wait before making this decision. Let me think on it." or "Something I can't put my finger on is troubling me." or "I can't explain this right now, yet I feel the need to move forward."

Guts are measures of our stress.

9. Inconsistency is part of our nature.  If we get frustrated by other peoples' tardiness, we often find we also show up just at the last - or beyond - the last minute. It is not by chance we are in the professions we are in. Something about it is what we need. Accept that you are inconsistent and you'll be easier on others who demonstrate this.

10. If you sell services, put your picture on your business card. This isn't a sign of vanity - instead see it as a form of access to you. When people see your face on your card they remember you much more often. If you face is on an ad, all the better. Bring access to your business referral community and your prospects. And make sure the photo shows how you want to be perceived.

11. When your alarm goes off, be thankful you're still alive! Instead of dreading the start of the day, consider the alternative - the lost opportunity. Get up and get connected to your spirit, your purpose and your relationships. That will awaken you and give you something to smile about.

12. As your week ends, look ahead at the number of appts you have scheduled into your next week. 5 appointments for the business builder is minimum. This allows you to attend networking events, to give presentations, to have follow-up appointments, to meet with your business partners and associates it is best to stay in touch with. For the business builder looking to pick up their pace, schedule 6-10 appointments weekly. Once you know which range to focus on, call/email/visit people daily to keep the appointments scheduled ahead. Before you leave the appointment, ask who your appointee would recommend you meet with next. Then take the steps to put them into your calendar.

Merri's Tips - Part 1

Thanks to Frank Ramos' blog on what he has learned in life, I will also be putting out a few remarks about my own experiences, as it translates into tips for the reader.

1. If you haven't decided what you want to be yet when you grow up, start paying attention to what revves you up. If something really makes you frustrated or angry, like social causes or issues, volunteer for the appropriate non-profit group to learn more about what it involves. If you've had an emotional experience about life circumstances, move into action around it. Public speakers and entrepreneurs get their start this way. Otherwise, life will be based on what happens to you vs. what you do about what happens.

Personal Attraction Tips

Today I began reading Tim Sander's The L (Likeability) Factor, which has shaped my focus on all things attractive. In Sanders book he explains that prior to the printing of his book, little had been written on defining likeability or what attributes go into it.

There is no doubt in my mind that some people have much more power - whether charisma or other people-based attraction - to attract notice, to drive results as well as to stimulate relationship interest if they focus on their communication skills. From what I've experienced - mostly through others - I have come to the following conclusions about what helps us attract people to our lives, our cause or our thinking.

You'll Easily Recognize Your Growth

photo credits - Dr. S. Pinna, MD

This morning I was reflecting on what it takes to have Explosive Personal Growth, as Dan Rockwell calls it. We aren't talking about gradual growth - the kind any of us sees through time as we mature in our focus and skillsets. Rockwell is talking about the kind of growth that few realize. He suggests this happens when we are willing to put ourselves "out there". When we haven't tested ourselves yet, but we know the benefit this test will bring- although frightening- will be freeing.

Rockwell claims getting used to discomfort is the key to explosive growth. How do we recognize when our growth is exploding?

You have to ask

Earlier this week I responded to the question, "What advice did your mother give you?" by saying, "Use your mouth. I can't read your mind."
If you were to ask my clients, "What advice did your coach give you?" I hope they would respond, "If you want someone's help, you have to ask for it." This leads us to a useful business-building tip some industries have been using for years.

3 Ways to Make the Best Use of Time and Talents

 image by Karin Christensen -Scientific Animation & Illustration

As a communication skills and speech coach, I repeatedly see how professionals get held back by lack of focus. We are interrupted throughout our day by stop-ins, callers, email notices, text messages, Facebook updates, LinkedIn status/connection requests, noise and trips to the coffee pot. The one thing we are good at is turning our head. But at the end of the day, it makes us feel miserable. That which needs work is focus.