Slow to Fast

One of the joys of living in urban Columbus is having eating and drinking establishments a few steps away. We're 1 block from the nearest coffee and bagel shop, 1 block from a tapas restaurant, and able to walk to tens more choices of bar restaurants within 2 to 10 minutes.

Like many urban dwellers, we keep little in the cupboards, yet we don't go hungry. Nor is fast food the routine. Although our diet restricts most meats, carbohydrates and sweets (no snacks are in our cupboards), we enjoy eating. Give us humus, eggs, beans, fruit, yogurt, nuts and vegetables, and we're good. While out eating, similar finds are noted on menu's, and with little need to loss sight of our diet, we enjoy. I can still enjoy the eventual fries or pancakes, yet now my body responds poorly when it happens too often.

Today, while on the treadmill at the gym, I read about the fasting of one of Dan Brown's characters, Ma'Lak, in The Lost Symbol. His attachment to it is the purification his body goes through. That's what got my interest. Ma'Lak glories in his control over his body, his decision to fast, to sacrifice and to get through it. Two days of liquids, nothing more. Two days of focusing on the enjoyment of self-discipline.

Discipline is a lost art, today. For the most part, discipline comes with personal benefit that is not immediate: diet, exercise, practice of skills, cold-calling, and other long-term, preventitive and proactive behaviors. In the American way of life, we stay so fast-paced with enjoyment, entertainment, impulsive behaviors, that our eating habits follow suit.

Though some take pleasure in food preparation, few take pleasure in exercising food discipline enough to partake in eventual fasting. When it comes to diet in America fast-fooding, not fasting, fast-fooding takes precedence! Habits that lead us quick to mouth are in control. When our stomachs talk to us, growling in hunger, we respond almost immediately.

Unless our faith encourages fasting and prayer, most of us would not practice this sacrifice. We are slow to fast, quick to eat. Does this mean we have no self-control?Perhaps we are seldom fulfilled in ways other than eating. If that's the case, we would jump at any chance to eat, simply to gain fulfillment.

I'm not sure, yet, whether I will try fasting. Many logical excuses come to mind as I consider it. Yet I do know that life fulfillment is worth exploring in ways other than using plate, fork, fingers and teeth.

Less Than Half Empty

It's beer:30 on my day off. I've worked up a sweat on this first day of October, sitting on the rooftop while reading. Hard to believe, but it actually feels like it's 80 degrees up here! After an hour, suffering, I go inside, reach for a cold brew - a real brew! not the MGD 64 substitute I usually find in the fridge - so I can feel that click in my head that relaxes me.

Because so far this day has been only mildly relaxing. Sleep in until 7, skip the gym, have breakfast out while reading the new Dan Brown release, go to the river and watch kids throw bread crumbs to the ducks.

I need another way to relax. I've slowed my pace, yet I need to FEEL it. Beer:30 usually does the trick. Good thing Blue Moon has twist offs - I don't want to waste anytime digging for a beer bottle opener. Now, it's time to go full tilt.

Yep, that works. That works well. And since I'm a little hungry, I reach for the Quick Fix. Dry roasted peanuts are a great companion to beer. On your day off, you take a break from routine, whether it's work, meals, the gym or anything else on the schedule. Days off are meant to be lived without routine.

I'm running out of beer. On the contrary, I'm laughing. Even singing...."Blue Moon, you make me..." Okay I forget the words to that song. What I do know is, drinking Blue Moon on a relatively empty stomach creates a joy I forgot was possible. Wait - I thought I had another still in the side door of the refridgerator - now that's an odd word, isn't it? Refridgerator? Doesn't "re" mean "again"? What got fridged again?

You're not supposed to let cold beer get warm and then iced down again. I know a guy who bought a case from a carryout, yet by the time he got home it was warm, so he returned it and actually got a replacement since he claimed to have received it warm!

Has my Blue Moon been iced down after it got warm? Can I pull that off? Pulling out the cash to run down to the carryout, I'm laughing. Can you imagine the look on that guy's face when I ask him if he can prove the beer I bought from him before was iced without first getting warm?!

Naw, I don't think I can deliver the punch line without laughing. My bottle is less than half empty and I have to do something about this. I need a FULL Blue Moon.

Running down to the local carryout, I open the door, look for the Blue Moon section and spot a new entry on the chilled shelf: Full Moon. Yes!!!! Does that mean you can just keep tipping?? I turn to the owner who has just finished serving a customer, laughing and pointing, my mouth wide open.



"I love it!" I said. "A Full Moon for my Beer:30!" He just looked as though he was looking right through me. "What?" he said.

Then I look further and see the seasonal distinction. For the winter months. Huh? Who wants a cold beer in the winter months? Aha! No wonder they stay full then! Blue Moon is pretty clever!

Finally, I see the Belgian White - the Belgian-Style Wheat Ale. "Oh, good. That will replace what I've been drinking," I say aloud to the owner, who by now has made some decisions about me and my behavior.

As I approached the checkout, I ask him what time it is. "Ten minutes til 4," he replies. "Good, that still gives me enough time to enjoy these six while it's beer:30."

"Blue moon, " I hum while exiting, suddenly remembering to check the temperature of the bottles I'm carrying out. And instead of asking my owner friend if they were able to keep the bottles chilled while re-stocking, I decide I need to run home before they get warm. Perfect. I'll work up a sweat, need the twist-off cap to quickly come off, then can enjoy the first at full tilt before I reach for the peanuts again.

What a day off.

Stirring the Pot

This morning I made oatmeal for breakfast, different from my daily eggs routine. I needed a new warmth - comfortable and laced with sweet. As I stirred the oats, I anticipated the sticking sensation, the heft and cling to the wooden spoon. Refreshing.

Quickly the oats boiled, puffed and worked their magic in the pot, while I stirred, eagerly awaiting the addition of the brown sugar. Turning off the burner and putting the matching lid on the pot, I then reached up for the brown sugar canister - one of the finest staples in the kitchen. With spoon in hand, I dove into the canister, pulling out several scoops while planting them into my ceramic bowl. I left the chunks, chunky.

Once the hot oatmeal hit the bottom of the brown sugared bowl, I stirred. Stirring, I saw the swirls of sugar color my oatmeal. With measured doses of milk, again I transformed both the consistency and the color of my breakfast. Creamy white mixed in with the earthy brown. Too much stirring and the swirls dissolved - just enough and the diverse blend of ingredients held their own, like thick threads in fabric.

My bowl was clean before I even sat down. Warm in my hands, I cupped it against my body while dipping and swirling the oatmeal onto spoon and into my expecting taste buds.

It's that time of year when my soul reaches for nourishment. Depth and enlightenment in new possibilities. I stir the pot. Again ready for the next dose. The thick oats, purifying milk and earthy brown sugar. Let it fall into place.

Breakthrough Blockbuster

Those of us who grip the steering wheel of life like we're on a collision course may have re-considered the seatbelt or breaks once we saw the movie, CRASH.

Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock and others keep us on edge during the violent pace when the scenes of 36 hours of their characters' lives weave into pure impact with others. This blockbuster's blend of corporate stress, cultural tensions and a little girl's faith in her daddy's angel shift us from reality to divine as we ponder the bigger picture of how we are all connected, even when we wish not to be.

Unmercifully my tears broke forth as I observed a scene wrought with fatality, seconds before key characters realized their fate. The gracefully crafted scene of daddy and daughter brings the violent, angst-ridden language of previous scenes to their knees. In this moment all of us viewers understand IMPACT.

From that scene forward,IMPACT is utterly all we can see as the rest of the movie unfolds. How the actions, the attitudes, the words of each character led to distressing results.

Yesterday, while I was with a wonderful person, I witnessed IMPACT of his thinking and actions while awareness came crashing down on him. In his case, as in the case of the blockbuster movie, the essence of life came to a standstill. Presence. In the now. All he could see was facial expressions. Proof of the impact he made on others. His daily treadmill of life, a common collision-course for gunning the gas and shifting into another gear dissolved.

As I watched, I witnessed his reactions to the impact he made on others. It started with contorted pain. His lip muscles working to hold back twitches, to slow his breathing and to deny the response his anger and awareness couldn't help but create.
And then frozen. He was speechless, focused and transported elsewhere.

Suddenly the pain relaxed and his eyes glazed over, his breath caught and held. Divine intervention flowed through him. He saw himself for what he had done, owned it, and with new breath, resolved to make things right. Once he crashed, took responsibility and allowed divine intervention, he found peace. Just as in the breakthrough blockbuster movie.

Sure, it would be better to never crash at all, but we're human.

At a loss for words

Live and in color - breathing shallowly, red-faced, and beginning to sweat, my mind races while I search for something to say. Looking for a sign, a clue, something for my mind to pick up on.

No, I'm not on stage right now. But feeling at a loss for words on stage has happened to me. There, I could at least respond to something else in the moment. Nor am I feeling this way in front of a group giving a presentation. Yet again, this has happened there, too. In front of a group I would ask for a cup of water, see how much time is left - something to momentarily divert focus, giving my mind a chance to connect to a congruent thought worth expressing.

Right now, in the "fight" mode of "fight or flight", I scan the surroundings, insisting my mind lose it's hold on the inner workings of my brain where it's stuck in the emotional, not the thinking side.

"What have you accomplished?", the question repeated in my head, as I momentarily looked at my interested companion slowly manipulating the coffee cup on the table.

I have noticed some people are better at being at a loss for words than I am. They shrug it off, letting the moment pass without incident. It seems there is no drama. Their hands don't shake, their skin tone remains the same and they stay even-keeled and non-plussed.

Perhaps they remark with simple responses such as, "Oh I don't think in terms of accomplishments," or "Who has really accomplished anything these days?", diverting the focus and redirecting conversation. Even suggesting a vulnerable response like, "Oh, nothing to write home about" while grinning, shifts the mood from serious to light-hearted.

But during the times when I wasn't prepared to respond with proof of my value, yet cared to, I, the literalist, couldn't identify anything worthy of note. Especially this particular day, when just starting out in an interpersonal skills business, looking across the table at a gentleman who thrives on statistics, analysis, systems and results. He wasn't going to be a client, and he surely wasn't going to refer me to those who needed me, for he didn't value what I had to offer. And at that point, neither did I.

Fortunately I have traveled down the road of understanding for quite some time now, while embarking on the journey of personal value. What a difference that makes when sharing one's message. Not only am I brief and articulate with the value, I no longer am suffering for the "inspiration" in the moment.

I now realize, when I don't know my value, I wait to hear it from others. And when they're at a loss for sharing it, I have nothing more to add.

Why didn't I?

James had just started the second reading when I heard..."You do not have, because you do not ask God."

He may have even noticed I sat up a bit more, leaning forward to listen, yet in the back of my mind came the plea, "Merri, you could have more business, you could do more in helping others feel good about how they communicate, if you'd only ask."

I am a communication coach - helping individuals both in presenting to groups as well as in communicating effectively one on one. Business this summer has been pretty dismal, and while I have continually adjusted my focus to the most pressing market need, there is one thing I haven't done. Turned to God for support. I coach others in business and sales to learn to ask - and this has been my own stumbling block. Quite the contradiction.

For several months we have been attending this church, very pleased with the weekly lessons, the depth of focus and the ease the minister and others have been relating to us. In our previous church back in Toledo, one of the biggest treats was prayer time. All who felt moved to contribute their concern or joy did so. At least it appeared that way from the intensity of participation. And I often shared my struggles, experiencing great relief afterwards.

Yet for some reason I have been stumbling in the Boulevard Presbyterian Church with offering my prayers aloud, especially those about business, which has been the foremost struggle in my mind. I've been restricting my participation purely from selfishness - feeling embarrassed instead of getting out of my own way, asking for prayer support and getting over it.

As the passage states, I haven't asked God, therefore I haven't received. Must I ask in public? Couldn't I simply ask from the silence of my own home, or car or head?These responses seem logical. Especially since there are another 7 days that must pass before I have the chance to ask aloud during the service. Yet it's from the humbling perspective, the one that forces me outside of my comfort zone that I will feel the relief.

I am reminded of what my spirit experiences when I am truly living up to the test: butterflies from either anxiety or excitement. Without the butterflies I am not taking the test. So now I have seven days to practice - from home and with those whom I am meeting. Ask, and you shall receive.

James 4:2 You do not have, because you do not ask God.

Embracing Beliefs

Tareek Saab, the author of Gut Check, says when he embraced his beliefs he "became more ethical, truthful, helpful, courteous, likeable, responsible and rational."
Before that, he was materialistic, driven, on the way up in the corporate environment, focused and haughty.

His turning point came as a result of a combination of events: sitting in a philosophy class and hearing the difference between happiness and pleasure, living in the corporate world and suddenly identifying with being "dead" vs. being "alive", and feeling the pull of his Catholic upbringing. To add meaning to his life meant to become the type of husband and father his family would be proud of, BEFORE he even met the woman of his dreams.


What does it take to embrace beliefs?


My contention is, we must have something worth living for. When that happens, we then embrace our beliefs as a way to overcome the barriers that hold us back from our purpose.


Paying attention to what truly resonates in us is key. My pastor Steve Smith told me several years ago, "Merri, pay attention to what makes you cry." From that directive I began seeing what is valuable to me. Although many people cry from sorrow, from pain as well as from discomfort, I have begun learning that what most often makes me cry is when someone is in need and others don't recognize it.

And maybe I was the other person. Or maybe I could have done something to inform others on how to be of assistance.


Embracing my belief in the power of the divine, the power of community, the power of compassion overcoming pain all helps me break down the barriers of resistance. Many days I forget the divine element, thinking I am solely responsible for my own success. That keeps me from allowing others - community - to show up. Yet it even more limits the big picture - the divine intervention.

Embracing my beliefs in total helps me to become patient, focused, calm. What a relief from daily activity to have these results! And when embracing my beliefs, I work harder, driven by focus and resolve.