Get out of bed!

Remember the last time you couldn't wait to get out of bed?

Was it because you were off to an adventure? About to recieve an award or honor? Had new clothes to wear? Finally heading out for a vacation?

Getting out of bed gets easier and easier when fun is attached. Our brain is charged with emotional buzz which awakens us, then engages our brain and then our feet start walking. Nothing like hitting the floor running!

If our regular days had fun, if our brains were regularly charged with emotional buzz, what then? How often would we hit the floor running, anticipate adventure, sport new smiles and grins and quickly fly out the door?!

Tomorrow I'm heading out of town to Miami FL, and I know I won't need to hit the snooze. I will eagerly take on this adventure. I love the water, can't wait to visit the awesome hotel overlooking both downtown Miami and Biscayne Bay. Although I'm traveling for work, I also get to play. I can't wait!

Any day that gives me adventure, that helps me laugh, grin and feel great is a winner. So often we forget the joys of life and seek comfort. Although comfort and joy can be a part of the same experience, it usually isn't. Joy is based on moving forward, on seeking next steps, on getting out of bed!

As you set your alarm tonight, consider: Do you want to frown or do you want to grin? If grin, then get out of bed!

In a Slump?

Here it is the day after a long weekend, and if you're like me, you forgot something big time.

You dragged your tired butt out of bed (not because you didn't sleep - you did), after hitting the snooze 3 times. You grumbled about the early hour, the desire for more sleep and then you slowly got over it. Slowly.

All weekend you enjoyed hanging out, reading good books, mingling with friends and drinking a few brews. You got to bed early, sometimes even napped. Yet still your tired butt was slow to respond to the weekday alarm. What's this about?

Yes, the above is all about me. No doubt you were better than that. No doubt you heard the alarm and it had only ring once to get you up and moving. No doubt you smiled, stretched and said to yourself, "YES! I finally get to be responsible again!"

Okay, so that was tongue-in-cheek. The point is, maybe you didn't forget what I forgot.

The way to begin the week is with the end in mind. That pulls me up, straightens my back, adjusts my eye level and gives me a shot of adrenaline I don't usually get when starting my work week.

When I don't control myself, I forget to focus on what I've already done and how excited others were when I completed those things. And when I forget to focus there, I also forget the enthusiasm that goes with doing it again. When enthusiastic, my head is up, my pace is quicker and my mood is bright. But without this focus, I go into self-doubt, hesitant about my action plan and resistant to moving forward. My head droops.

See comic again.




Comfort zones suck us in. And if we've been there for awhile, they really start to cement around us. Like my weekend. I am usually a workaholic, yet last weekend I did little activity - and comfort sucked me in! I took the opposite extreme. Whereas, (gosh that sounds like legal jargon) had I simply reviewed my successes from last week - article someone wrote about me for the Cleveland Examiner, the announcement that a local business networking group is honoring me for the month, my prospects that sought me out and the upcoming appointments I have for this week, I should have flown out of bed.

Tonight I am starting a new practice. Before reading in bed I will review my successes and what I'm anticipating. I can't afford to waste time any more. I don't have 1000 years ahead of me to live my purpose. All I have is today. All I have is right now. This hour. This moment. No more putting things off.

Hold me accountable to this one, readers. By this weekend I will see the time I used was on controlling myself. I will face those emotional triggers in my head that force that voice saying, "You don't really have to follow through with that step yet" into the back depths. Instead I will say, "Get it done!" I will be motivated. I will notice that it takes even less time to accomplish more. And I will enjoy seeing the results.

June will have many appointments, 4 new clients, 2 new speaking engagements, and so many opportunities I will simply have to turn some down. I will get to be selective.
Then when my alarm rings I will arise with gusto knowing I get to be in control of my own life, my own business, my own opportunities.

Goodbye to slumps and hello to Pogo Sticks!

'Ways to Introduce Coaching'

'Ways to Introduce Coaching'

Cancellation

Because I have so often stepped into an airport in search of a screen detailing flight status updates, I can relate to what people go through when they realize what they expected to happen was cancelled, forgotten or even ignored.

As kids we fear whether our loved ones will forget our birthday, let alone not give us what we most want. Showing up to give us support is key.

Yet when we turn into adulthood, we see the problem persists. When we arrange a time to meet someone for lunch, coffee, make an appt to see a service provider or schedule a time for an interview, with that comes a level of expectation around follow-through. Not only for us - for them as well. We have set aside time in our day, we may have also deferred time from someone or something else to schedule the agreed-upon appointment.

As a result, no-shows are irritating. They are actions that speak to our character. Certainly life gets in the way adjusting our focus, slowing us down or giving us momentary lapses. Yet today's technology allows for life to get in the way without a character flaw arising.

Phone calls made out of respect to those awaiting our presence demonstrate vulnerabilty while representing respect. Yet not all offenders follow through with these common courtesies. We wait, we wonder and no connection is made. Finally, we make the decision to place a call, to leave the location or to give up on the promise made.

Cancellations aren't all bad. Yet when they happen with regularity, we begin to question the character of those not showing up. Especially when no connection is made.

From my own experiences, I will give anyone the chance to make a mistake. Yet more than one starts to grate away at the trust I had in them. And without trust, the communication that follows is just as questionable.

Much worse than a flight cancellation which is usually a safety precaution, one that happens without regard to the others involved is disheartening. It's the first step toward discomfort with that individual.

Is Communication Coaching for me?

Most people have no idea what to expect from a communication coaching experience. Some wonder whether it's for those who are required to speak in front of groups, or whether it's for leaders, let alone for those who want to improve relationships, focus or a better understanding of themselves.



Consider the following questions and how you may respond to discover whether communication coaching will break down those barriers you want broken down:


1 When you are scheduled to speak to a group, are you at a loss as to how to prepare?

2 Has your speaking fear grown into speaking anxiety no matter what the environment or event is?

3 Is your challenge in how to handle "off-the-cuff" responses?

4 Do you sense that you need to simplify your technical information? Do you want to learn how to edit your material - when everything seems important?

5 Is influencing others, especially key people, your challenge?

6 Do you want to learn how to easily adjust and adapt to feedback?

7 Do you want to be wiser about how you impact people so you can tweak habits accordingly?

8 Do you need to learn how to condense a talk when your time is cut short?

9 Want to learn how to handle tough conversations?

10 Want to manage the voice in your head?

11 Have others asked you to slow down or speak louder?

12 Would you like to be one of those people who walk into any room with presence and confidence?


These are the most common questions clients have that bring them to coaching. If three or more of these relate to you, then you are ready to ask for help, to create a breakthrough for yourself and to generate behaviors that lead to confidence whether in handling tough conversations, presentations, that voice in your head or the relationships around you.

And when you take action around coaching, you are in the top 10% of individuals who actually follow through with what they most desire. Congratulations!

Email Merri at merri@bdbcommunication. We can get started right away.

Difficult Conversations

Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, some conversations are just difficult to have. Although an introvert may find this to be the case more often than his/her assertive counterpart, the truth is, sometimes any of us could be at a loss for words.

I recall a great number of times when I struggled with conversation - all having to do with being honest. Not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, I would rather tell a white lie than speak to someone's faults, errors or inadequacies. Likewise, I had difficulty pointing out my own mistakes, especially when around those I knew well.

All of us are fairly good at communicating. We listen, voice, encourage, discern, account, question, connect, engage, articulate, inform, seek and understand. Yet when any of three key triggers grip us, we stumble.

The triggers are

when we think others will disagree

when our emotions are challenged

when we perceive risk escalating

At these times we will either handle the conversation well (at times this is the case), we will mishandle it (often the case) or we will avoid it entirely (at least a third of the time).

There is no one thing to keep in mind to improve our responses. In fact, moving from avoidance to participation and from mishandling to handling well requires us to do several things.

1. Manage yourself
Doing this means it's okay to you that you make mistakes. You know lessons are learned this way, and as long as you follow through with the appropriate apologies and honest while supportive feedback, you can let yourself be a work in progress.

2. Use objectivity
Let information be information. What is true to one person may not be true to others, yet what is true to them should be validated. Although your emotions may be engaged, focus on facts. This isn't about backing down. It's about discovery - and that moves people forward.

3. Influence others
When people like and trust us, they allow themselves to be influenced by us. On the most basic level, respecting them can move them to like or trust us. What will it take for us to respect them before they even respect us? This step is critical to anyone in leadership as well as to those wanting influence in other circumstances.

With these steps also comes the need to frame conversations well, to be accountable, to plan in advance and prepare to connect well with your audience. Difficult conversations will always stretch us. Yet what we hope comes from them is practice, good experiences, respect and true appreciation for others.

The hardest part

Now what?

I've done what I said I would do.

I showed up. I made the call. I sent the information. I am ready and waiting.
And the clock keeps ticking. My alarm is about to ring. Why? I'm impatient.

One of the hardest things in life is waiting. It allows us to question, to reconsider, to doubt and even to regret.

Yet the ironies that multiply around our impatience have to do with what we have failed to do. While we are patting ourselves on the back regarding a specific individual, task or priority, we fail to engage in the activities others are waiting for us to act on.

In life ironies abound. While we are getting impatient with others, yet others are already fed up with us. It just happens that way.

The hardest part of life is finding the balance in our inconsistencies. What we see in others applies to ourselves. There is always an inconsistency. So we either stop getting impatient with others or we settle for looking within to find the inconsistency. And then do something about it. Now.

Connect. Just do it. There is someone you've been meaning to get back to. Stay in touch. All it takes is a simple connection. Next thing you know, others will be reaching out to you.