Short Term Sacrifice

Do you love what you do?

When you love what you do, you are willing to do things others may not understand. You are willing to constantly update, upgrade, research and network. You are willing to sacrifice what others see as "fun" and substitute what your time is best spent on.

TV watching, Facebooking, yard work or shopping may all be put aside for other things like reading, reviewing, re-working or reaching for that next level of using your skills and gifts.

What does it take to get what you want?

Nobody has all the answers. What we have is a desire. My desire is to create peace for others while helping them speak with confidence. Those who want this peace are like me. They are introverts. They usually lack confidence while they prefer staying isolated. Yet when they are attorneys or running for political office, they have a conflicting need - influence people to either engage their services or to vote or financially support their campaign.

The only way I can accomplish my goal of supporting the introvert is to be out there, out on a limb. To do this I get to attend evening, morning, noon or other networking events. I get to present to groups. I get to write, speak, create programs and develop quality service for those who overlook their own value.

What am I sacrificing? I consciously decide whether to spend on self vs. spending for others. I consciously question how to take care of self so I can be there for others. My activities - answering my phone, responding to emails, keeping up with Facebook - have gone by the wayside. I am sacrificing "immediacy" for planned, scheduled time to connect with others.

I am sacrificing having a home full of valuable things. I live in a 1300 square foot loft with a very small storage space. My wardrobe, my pantry and my entertainment practices look dismally small and inconsequential. That isn't valuable to me, for it won't do anything for those I'm most committed to.

What I'm gaining is an appreciation for helping people. And that resonates with a supportive following. Short term sacrifice may feel like you're putting yourself out on a limb. Because you are. Yet it's a limb of beauty that won't break.

What if you heard this...

So you're being diligent within your career. You've committed years of your time, your focus and your energy to a particular field of study and set of talents. You burn the candle at both ends. And part of what has given you the successful edge is your willingness to ask for feedback.

You check in as you position yourself for a sale. You check in thoroughly before taking on a new project. You debrief after projects are completed and you continually seek feedback from peers on best practices.

You are a visionary, strategizing toward your end result with plausible goals, taking steps to achieve them. And you are ready to reach for that next level. So you ask a key question of those you're serving:

What can I do better?

Answers cater to the insignificant yet customer-centered tweaking common to many service providers. And then comes another:

If there is one thing I would suggest, it is to be more businesslike.What followed was an assortment of examples, many solid and logical.

What would you do if you heard this?

Like most of us, you may first consider the source and then determine the appropriateness of the comment. Secondly you may question the meaning of the word "business-like" and compare it to the frame of reference of the source. And then you may even give thought to the ways becoming more "business-like" can enhance your value for others.

All emotions aside, you asked for feedback and this is what you got. Feedback, that source of information that without asking for you may not have heard, is some of the most important pieces of information we use to grow by.



Hopefully what you do next is become more businesslike.

Moments of Decision

Yes, I have OFTEN wanted to be guided by divine intervention. I just didn't want it to come from God!

Hoping for a bronze bullet or wand from the willows or secrets from the sublime, I have wanted an inside track into the magical moments of Millions! If the 8-ball could deliver the answer through a floating die cast behind a crystal window, I would pick it up right now. Just don't let anyone catch me using it.

Decisions must be made. Should I like Curly or Moe? Eat now or later? Rent or buy? Take a risk or stay safe? That's actually the bottom line - do I take the risk?

Moments of decision all come down to, is it the right answer? And what if it isn't? Will others make me feel bad?
Will I make me feel bad?
Can I handle it?

Today someone I was with shared he is at a turning point. For guidance he asked me, What do you think?

Granted, it's good to get perspective from neutral points of view. And when asked, I work hard to stay objective. This means keeping in mind what is important to them and measuring choices against that. All from my perspective.

What he asked me is a step better than "God, please make the 8-ball accurate." In that case, the one praying is actually saying I don't care what you think - make sure the other source is giving me good wisdom.

Looking a bit deeper at this, we see something more poignant suggested:

I don't care what I think. What do you think.

My friend really does care what he thinks. He cares so much he wants to be validated without analyzing the information for himself. He has been side-stepping responsibility. In essence, Swinging for the Fence, without approaching the plate. He talks a good talk but has taken little action toward the result.

Today my friend, who is very similar to me in some areas of my life, made the decision to stay the course as opposed to switching to Plan B. Period. And in that moment of decision he picked up the bat. Now that he is putting it on his shoulder, he is heading to the "whole". In the past, he only picked it up moments before he was "up".
There is a sequence he will follow to stay responsible.

In the hole, on deck, batter up. Each phase brings with it a discipline, strategy and willingness to do what it takes. All this was being put off before he made the decision to commit to his plan. There was no "in the hole" work to get himself in the mindset of managing his focus and remembering his value. There was no "on deck" work to review the lay of the land and find the key signals to observe. And there was no "up" time to translate anxiety into excitement, concentration and action.

Moments of Decision ready us for the work ahead. Putting them off wastes everything, especially the base hit, let alone the ability to assist another runner's advancement. Who is dependent on you? What are you willing to do about it? How will you demonstrate this right now? And finally, what base will it get you to?

Walking Away

Recently I read a line out of Kathy Reiche's book, 206 Bones:

Sometimes we walk out on our lives.

I read it out of context, so I can only guess at what she meant since I don't know the details. Yet I found it a profound statement. Enough to reflect on and put out there.

There have been a number of times I can personally attest to walking out on my own life.

For one, I quit teaching after my 16th year to start a coaching business. I had schooled in education, specifically English/speech/communications/theatre. I had many years of practice under me and became fairly good at it, yet chose to walk when I realized something else was calling me. Life as I knew it was now about to end. I wouldn't get a regular salary, benefits, the 3-month vacation. I also wouldn't be grading piles of papers, writing lesson plans and corralling teenagers into a form of classroom management.

Another time "life as I knew it" was replaced with something else is when I spent 8 weeks in the Catskill Mountains studying with the National Shakespeare Conservatory. A summer experience during my teaching career that changed my understanding of "education" forever. Although I earned 19 credits for the experience, since it was a professional theatre conservatory vs. an academic environment, I would not see the usual upgrade in my salary. I saw no upgrade.

That experience, one filled with professional growth, higher learning, meaningful experiences and immediate applications to how I would direct and coach others - that experience showed me the slanted ways we measure growth. It showed me the illogical thinking of value.

For years I had been advised to get my master's degree so I could continue to increase my salary. Although I was teaching English, I didn't want a masters degree in it. I was invited to get my masters in teaching methodology or curriculum development. I didn't want one in those areas either. What I wanted was a masters in theatre or the performing arts. One in directing or performance. But they required a 2 year's leave of absence which I couldn't afford. What I could afford was a scholarship never before given to a HS teacher from the National Shakespeare Conservatory in Manhattan. And what I learned upon my return from that summer study was that although it changed the way I connected with my students and how I performed on stage, it didn't matter to those who offer forms of recognition. It would not change my salary.

WIthin 5 years I walked away from teaching in search of a new way to live and to connect with the world around me. It's not always good to walk away. Nor is it always easy. It is often embarrassing, or demeaning, sometimes even painful. But in these cases of my life, at these times when I was searching for more meaning and for the truth of what is important, I walked out on my life and am glad.

Get out of bed!

Remember the last time you couldn't wait to get out of bed?

Was it because you were off to an adventure? About to recieve an award or honor? Had new clothes to wear? Finally heading out for a vacation?

Getting out of bed gets easier and easier when fun is attached. Our brain is charged with emotional buzz which awakens us, then engages our brain and then our feet start walking. Nothing like hitting the floor running!

If our regular days had fun, if our brains were regularly charged with emotional buzz, what then? How often would we hit the floor running, anticipate adventure, sport new smiles and grins and quickly fly out the door?!

Tomorrow I'm heading out of town to Miami FL, and I know I won't need to hit the snooze. I will eagerly take on this adventure. I love the water, can't wait to visit the awesome hotel overlooking both downtown Miami and Biscayne Bay. Although I'm traveling for work, I also get to play. I can't wait!

Any day that gives me adventure, that helps me laugh, grin and feel great is a winner. So often we forget the joys of life and seek comfort. Although comfort and joy can be a part of the same experience, it usually isn't. Joy is based on moving forward, on seeking next steps, on getting out of bed!

As you set your alarm tonight, consider: Do you want to frown or do you want to grin? If grin, then get out of bed!

In a Slump?

Here it is the day after a long weekend, and if you're like me, you forgot something big time.

You dragged your tired butt out of bed (not because you didn't sleep - you did), after hitting the snooze 3 times. You grumbled about the early hour, the desire for more sleep and then you slowly got over it. Slowly.

All weekend you enjoyed hanging out, reading good books, mingling with friends and drinking a few brews. You got to bed early, sometimes even napped. Yet still your tired butt was slow to respond to the weekday alarm. What's this about?

Yes, the above is all about me. No doubt you were better than that. No doubt you heard the alarm and it had only ring once to get you up and moving. No doubt you smiled, stretched and said to yourself, "YES! I finally get to be responsible again!"

Okay, so that was tongue-in-cheek. The point is, maybe you didn't forget what I forgot.

The way to begin the week is with the end in mind. That pulls me up, straightens my back, adjusts my eye level and gives me a shot of adrenaline I don't usually get when starting my work week.

When I don't control myself, I forget to focus on what I've already done and how excited others were when I completed those things. And when I forget to focus there, I also forget the enthusiasm that goes with doing it again. When enthusiastic, my head is up, my pace is quicker and my mood is bright. But without this focus, I go into self-doubt, hesitant about my action plan and resistant to moving forward. My head droops.

See comic again.




Comfort zones suck us in. And if we've been there for awhile, they really start to cement around us. Like my weekend. I am usually a workaholic, yet last weekend I did little activity - and comfort sucked me in! I took the opposite extreme. Whereas, (gosh that sounds like legal jargon) had I simply reviewed my successes from last week - article someone wrote about me for the Cleveland Examiner, the announcement that a local business networking group is honoring me for the month, my prospects that sought me out and the upcoming appointments I have for this week, I should have flown out of bed.

Tonight I am starting a new practice. Before reading in bed I will review my successes and what I'm anticipating. I can't afford to waste time any more. I don't have 1000 years ahead of me to live my purpose. All I have is today. All I have is right now. This hour. This moment. No more putting things off.

Hold me accountable to this one, readers. By this weekend I will see the time I used was on controlling myself. I will face those emotional triggers in my head that force that voice saying, "You don't really have to follow through with that step yet" into the back depths. Instead I will say, "Get it done!" I will be motivated. I will notice that it takes even less time to accomplish more. And I will enjoy seeing the results.

June will have many appointments, 4 new clients, 2 new speaking engagements, and so many opportunities I will simply have to turn some down. I will get to be selective.
Then when my alarm rings I will arise with gusto knowing I get to be in control of my own life, my own business, my own opportunities.

Goodbye to slumps and hello to Pogo Sticks!

'Ways to Introduce Coaching'

'Ways to Introduce Coaching'