Sales are not Tim's Gum

One eye-opening experience I had in first grade taught me a lesson about human nature that has stayed with me today. A fellow classmate, Tim - a timid and honest boy- had drifted off into his head, away from the lesson. Our teacher, Mrs. Showalter, noticed this. To bring him back into the moment with the rest of us, she simply called him by name.

"Tim," Mrs. Showalter said.

"Gum," was his immediate response as his face turned crimson.

"Excuse me?" Mrs. Showalter remarked, her eyes big and her mouth almost laughing.

We first-graders watched Mrs. Showalter regain her composure and stole looks at Tim as he covered his mouth, wondering whether Mrs. Showalter had discovered he was chewing gum in class before he confessed.

"Gum", Tim repeated.

"I see. You have gum in your mouth. Tim, would you please remove the gum from your mouth and throw it away? I believe it's time you pay attention again."

"Yes, ma'm."

We watched Tim slide out of his desk, pull the gum from his mouth and saunter to the wastebasket, hanging his head. Sheepishly he deposited the gum and apologized. "I'm sorry, ma'm." Whether he was sorry he brought attention to his crime or really sorry he attempted to chew gum in class, we don't know.

I have a feeling Tim was not enjoying his stick of gum, having to chew it on the sly, hoping dear Mrs. Showalter didn't discover it. That stick of gum probably lost its flavor quickly.

Here is what I learned. Whatever bothers us stays so top of mind that we cannot focus on anything but it. As a result, we teeter between being stuck in our head with or blurting out those things causing us pain.

Confidence in Asking

When I started observing jury trials to coach attorneys in confidence and influence, I enjoyed watching opposing attorney communication style and quickly learned a few key things. In general, those who were prepared - mentally and logically - demonstrated the most confidence. But I was thrown by the shift in a confident lawyer's approach when he/she switched from the prepared questions to the follow-ups.

Any good attorney will say, "never ask a question you don't know the answer to". But great ones know there are times to ask the questions you don't know the answer to. During voir dire.

Do you understand them, individually?
Like someone pitching a sale, attorneys need to use the process "Seek to understand and then to be understood" during the jury selection/deselection process. This means get the jurists, like prospects, to talk. Introverts, this is something you can be really good at. The more others talk, the less you have to.

When giving sales pitches or demonstrations with my audiences, I have failed if all I do is seek a show of hands. Equally poor is a well-placed question to a jurist without appropriate follow-up. Is it better to know or not to know someone's bias? If it's better to know, - and of course it is - then it's appropriate to dig deeply enough to uncover a bias during voir dire.

Follow your instincts. Practice asking the tough questions. Discover what's being covered up. Seek to understand those who have the power to decide your case. Introverts, if you need to take a moment to word the next question, simply state, "give me just a moment". Do not move on without asking it. Extroverts, remember your time asking questions about the jury is not about you. Seek to understand those deciding your case.

The confidence we have in asking the tough questions is proportionate to the respect and admiration onlookers will have for us. If our questions lead to uncomfortable candidate moments during voir dire, selection/deselection is that much easier. You need to know who is going to give you the best hearing.

Begin Practicing Today
So put into practice today your willingness to follow up with meaningful questions. Choose people on which to practice this process. Those close to you, who understand your career, could be ones to regularly test your skills on. Get comfortable with following your instincts and asking the deeper, more insightful questions.

The more confident you are in asking the difficult questions, the more influential you will be. Your case, and maybe your client, depends on it.

Pushing Forward

On this day of the week when it's common to drag ourselves slowly out of bed, into the day and into focus, I am reminded of a move I made to begin pushing my own barrier out of the way. Some of you may have read that I have been a student of the National Speaker Association's Protrack VI class in Ohio, a class that one of my classmates calls "the MBA for professional speakers".

Through the 8-month course we students have examined not only our speaker style, our message and our business strategy. We have also seen the number of ways we could step out into new territory with our business and our own professional speaking practice. This examination - common to many professionals who strive to remain purposeful - though fearful, is also motivating. So much so that I called upon one of the instructors to mentor me. And the double-edged sword answer is, he said yes.

When Pressured, Pivot

When I played high school basketball, I was very ineffective. Although I could shoot, pass and dribble, I hadn't developed the skill of responding to defenders. I never learned the art of pivoting.

Without this, I was often cornered, trapped or forced to lose the ball. I wasn't considered first string, for my ineffective handling of pressure was a contributor.

This memory comes to mind because recently someone in my network was talking about her need to pivot when handling tough situations. And I realized it is often in need in cases unfolding at trial. Attorneys may be generally good at case preparation, but if either side feels pressure, stress ensues and their influence is hampered. However, if they respond to the pressure by pivoting, they create enough time and space for themselves to resume their drive.

Recognize these Witnesses?

Want a break from the usual pressures of litigation?

These witnesses you don't want to have to control...but you may like their outcome! Check out the video included in this post. I hope you enjoy it!

I have spent too many hours in the courtroom NOT to enjoy this Larry, Curly and Moe clip of antics called Disorder in the Court.

Curiosity only Kills the Cat

My yellow-haired cat, Amber, is generally the one I yell at. Caramel, Buddy and Frisbee (although their names sound suspicious) are fairly sanguine around the house. But Amber is forever searching and discovering, climbing and unearthing. She is a cat in motion.

Although this means she frequently topples things she examines, at times causing frustration, she - like the best attorneys for the defense - is fun to watch.

Before you step into your courtroom

Picture this:
Your left hand is on the pully of your briefcase, your eyes scanning the floor as you navigate around jurists or observers mingling in the hallway. You look up to see the nameplate attached to the wall outside the courtroom, the name revealing the judge chambered inside. Your heart does a momentary flip as you consider who has the power, the confidence, the influence inside these walls.  As your right hand reaches the handle on the door, you smile, remembering you have the power to influence. And today you are about to prove it.

Ever feel this way? If not, it's about time you do.