Out of frustration, we have a tendency to attack ourselves when we miss the mark. We didn't anticipate the opponent's move. We studied the wrong script. We missed the turn-off. Just when we thought we were ready, we discovered just how unprepared we were.
So was the case when I met with a young man over coffee who has been beating himself up over his job search efforts.
"All they want to do is talk about themselves! It feels more like a debate than a conversation, and I don't like it." From the way he rubbed his hands on his thighs and then raked through his hair with his right hand, he demonstrated tangibly his frustration with himself. "I didn't expect to have to listen to them(the hiring managers) talk about themselves and the company. I thought they'd want to know about me."
This young guy wasn't ready for the reality of job fairs and today's approach to the interview.
Similar are the feelings of business developers, new AND seasoned managers, parents and other adults who had it all together until new circumstances and/or change created chaos in their lives. At these times, our thinking gets turned on its head. And like those silly drinking games with baseball bats on the floor and our forehead attached to the handle while we attempt to walk away after spinning around, we get off balance, lose our footing, and walk away embarrased at looking like such an idiot!
We've all been there. The worst case scenario is retreating into isolation until the world is eventually "righted". And the best case scenario is reaching out to a trusting individual and discussing it.
Only then do we realize, it's not us. We aren't idiots. We simply had our world turned around and with eyes open a bit wider now, we can begin to function again. New information gives us better decision-making, stronger motivation and the will to move forward - this time with balance.
We laugh at our mistakes. We anticipate new lessons and slowly pick up speed in building confidence. We're not only predictable - we're good.
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