Drop an Anchor

There's a pretty quick way to lose an audience. And that's with mindless wandering. Many of us introverts have a habit of moving while we pull our thoughts into view, looking at nothing in particular in the room while searching the dark recesses of our brains. Extroverts are full of energy - for them movement is large, fast and continual.

For a short time, either of these things is okay. It's an interesting view, from the audience's perspective. But make it a part of your routine, and it gets monotonous.

Try dropping an anchor - you pull the audience right in.

Embracing the Artist

A colleague of mine once said, "My artist side kicked in and gave me survival skills."

She had been sharing her professional journey, alerting me to her distaste for corporate life, and her
need to step out on her own. Mentioning her recent vacation, she was quick to point out her interest in gathering together with friends for walks, visits to parks and enjoyment of the community artists. A bookkeeper, she was pulled to the logic side of her brain during the day and mistakenly thought she should avoid the creative unless she was away from her desk. So she shut down that voice.

Introvert Barrier #2

Give someone a chance to vote on leaders, and if they know the candidates, they would select the introverts. Yet if they don't know the candidates, their guts would steer them away from the introverts. Why? Based on Barrier #2: perception gaps. (We have already addressed the intrapersonal barrier of introverts with the post Introvert Barrier #1. #2 - this post- is an interpersonal barrier)

Face It

For some of us, success is what we fear. The only real solution is to get over it. And by that, I mean, just Face It. Look it squarely in the eye. Learn what it is that makes us shake and then address it.

Similarly, many of us fear getting in front of groups. Whether introvert or extrovert, we fear we haven't what it takes for the moment.

Results of Synergy

These past 23 days have been the most incredible of my life!

Our last meeting was life-altering!

Of the 4 master mind groups I facilitate, the most recent had members speaking the above words - and that's because they were willing to share their business experiences of what has been working and what are they challenged with. And then, they were willing to ask for and listen for help.

Sharing a page or two

Ever stepped away from the platform after having just presented to a group and thought, "I was really into the topic and so was my audience. Yet, I was all over the place." It happens. The passion many presenters have to get it all out there when sharing what they know leads them to forget to focus.

I was recently in the audience of a presenter who did just that. When checking in with her after her presentation about how she felt about the experience, she said, "You know how a child, so excited to share news, will just blurt it all out there incoherently? That's how I felt."

Are You Cut Out for Public Speaking?

Earlier I posted a comment on my personal facebook page: "I am an introvert on the move." And many people who know me well responded, "You aren't an introvert!"

How is it that people who know us well can get such a huge thing wrong: whether we are an introvert or extrovert? Maybe you'd be surprised by the answer - because we so often practice extroverted traits. Especially those behaviors of getting in front of audiences. Maybe most people think introverts aren't cut out for getting in front of audiences.

#1 Audience Complaint - Up the Introvert Alley

Cramming too much information into a short span of time

You've been in these audiences before. You hear the speaker say, "let's get started because we have a lot to cover". Motivation to dig in and listen? No. This comment is more like motivation to groan, to tune out, to pull out the notepads to start doodling.

Why I enjoy Observing Presentations

Several months ago I began the practice of observing speakers. I posted a plea on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn for discovering Ohio-based presentations from folks in my network and have begun finding ways to be in their audiences. Sometimes they make the arrangements themselves for me, sometimes they refer me to the event planner for assistance. Nonetheless, I now am a speaker's observer.

Managing the Negative Perceptions

It's Monday. Planning for your day ahead you realize you are scheduled to attend an internal meeting. And you wish to make a good impression with your meeting participation. You consider, what do people expect of me? That I talk? That I have energy in my manner? That I respond quickly?

If you're an introvert, these expectations do not match your temperament. And when your behaviors fall short from the expectations, there is a perception gap that remains which begs the question of you, Is there something wrong?

Feed your Introvert Downtime Need

It's Friday, a great day for us introverts to reduce our stress. If we've been out meeting with folks during the day through the rest of the week, maybe even attended a few "required" evening events, we need the downtime. Friday is a great day to set aside "me" time: follow up on the paper trails, focus on needed research, and/or make the next prospecting list.

This week I have focused on Stress, the #1 Introvert Barrier Pattern, while addressing some of the factors that cause it: work overload (see post Inside the Lines) and focusing on the physical symptoms (see post Physical Symptoms Don't Have to Derail Us). And another contributor to introvert stress is people exhaustion.

And the Winner Is...

Today is a big day for a client of mine. She is winning an award she is humbled to receive and eager to speak well for, in response. When she called me to seek guidance in creating and practicing her acceptance speech, she had 2 major thougths to share:

I can't believe they picked me

I want to validate their selection

Yet guess which thought her first draft of the acceptance speech focused on? You guessed it - disbelief. For the first several minutes her message focused on why she didn't deserve the award. I knew right away this dear soul isn't used to getting and/or accepting recognition.

Physical Symptoms Don't Have to Derail Us

In theatre I learned that our body feels the same when we are anxious as when we are excited. Butterflies happen both times. The butterflies we feel moments before the curtain opens - that queasiness which affects the digestive system, that makes our ears go red and our palms sweat - are symptoms that we give meaning to sometimes without thinking. Whether we are experiencing these symptoms in our professional or personal lives, when we assume the worst, we get it.

Inside the Lines

Coloring was a very enjoyable past-time for me as a child. I took my time selecting which crayon color I would use for the patterns in my coloring book, took my time testing out the color's smooth feel on the page, testing out its ability to evenly display the hue within the lines and, all-the-while, it gave me a sense of calm. What I didn't like about coloring was sharing one page of the book while someone else used it. It seemed they were always finished first, waiting on me to catch up. That put pressure on my slow, methodical, calm approach. I tried to do more, choose quicker, forget about the joy of sliding the crayon on the pattern. Just get it done. Yet as an introvert, getting it done wasn't important.

Managing my workload is the adult perspective of learning how to color inside the lines. It helps me create the calm I am after, unaffected by those working alongside me. Unfortunately, many introverts are motivated to do too much, because they are seen at thorough, as experts, and are encouraged to commit themselves to more things more often.

Do you ever have workload anxiety?

Yesterday's blog post, Introvert Barrier #1, focuses on stress and the three factors that introverts most often are impacted by. The first factor, work overload, is one that was a huge factor in my teaching career. For 16 years I was a high school speech, English and drama teacher, early on enjoying coaching of basketball and volleyball, although feeling inadequate in the roles. My favorite extra-curricular commitment was the directing of high school plays and musicals. I enjoyed it so much, I let that focus expand so that I directed 2 productions yearly and gradually added being the Executive Director of the community's local youth theatre program in addition to my full-time teaching.

There is a behavioral pattern called Doing Too Much, Pushing Too Hard that I quickly subscribed to. As you can imagine, late nights with theatre rehearsals and early mornings of homework grading became a part of my routine. Not on occassion - but this was my mode of operation. I commonly brewed and drank 6-8 cups of coffee each morning prior to leaving home en route to school. As any introvert can tell you, burning the candle at both ends leaves a nasty impact on the body, yet it's worse in the introvert's mind. I was left thinking I would never see an end to this routine - I was good at what I do and would always be responsible for taking on multiple projects while being expected to handle the work-day classroom load.

My error was in my thinking - I thought others were responsible for my overload. Others saw my work and wanted more. My aha came when I realized it was up to me to decide how much is too much. And then do something to set and maintain my own boundaries.

In business we see this philosophy as the ability to create desire, fulfill it, and leave them wanting more. Some business owners think the customer dictates our work schedule and our production. Others believe less is more. Provide the carrot, understand the receiver's interest and motivate their involvement. Even professional speakers and marketers practice the idea of efficiency and focus vs. rambling forever.

Work overload kills energy and confidence that introverts are already in short supply of by nature. The best thing I did to address my own circumstances was remember what I was good at and say yes to those commitments while saying no to things I had once believed I "needed" to do. No more detached coloring-book moments, feeling driven to just get it done. No more Doing Too Much, Pushing Too Hard. I could get back to enjoying the activities of my life, as well as the people.

The decision to commit to few things while enjoying them gave me back my personality, my private life and even my confidence in myself - let alone reduced my stress. It can for you, too.

Introvert Barrier #1

It's the biggest killer in today's society: Stress.

Introverts feel so much better when we manage ourselves. Until then, we are our own biggest enemy. We tend to let stress do us in. The number one barrier to introverts' self worth is stress. We need to break down this barrier.

As Jennifer B. Kahnweiler writes in The Introverted Leader, there are three common stress builders we habitually allow. They include work overload, focus on physical symptoms that create anxiety and people exhaustion.

Introverts can effectively build conversation

A few months ago I wrote a post titled, Building Conversation.  In it I shared a few tips on how to move into the conversation-building mode. Introverts tend to listen so much in other's conversations that they don't know how to contribute, or build, on what others are saying.

Recently a reader - also a self-identified introvert - offered his perspective to building conversation while networking. This great perspective is below.

I would add a practical point that I often share with those seeking to do “networking,” which is to focus on the relationship rather than demonstrating “expertise” or “selling” one’s product or services.  

Begin with questions about the individual, what they do, successes at work, family life, and travel.  The opportunities will come in the conversation to take the next step, or may come at some point in the future.   

I find that viewing such conversations as opportunities for building a new relationship is a great approach for a few reasons.  First, such topics are easy to handle.  Second, the introvert doesn’t have to do much talking, rather they are asking questions.  Third, the conversation seems natural and not like some kind of forced or artificial networking effort.   Lastly, with some foundation, it is easier to transition into points you would like to make (i.e. networking, selling, etc.).

Let me know how these specific tips resonate to you. In the meantime, Thank you to Russ Dempsey for supplying the suggestions!

What suggestions do you have that you would like us to consider? Please contribute.

The Best Performers are Introverts - Why aren't you speaking?

It doesn't take long for me to feel anxious before the curtain opens on a performance I'm in. Likewise, when I enter a space at a conference or meeting environment prior to speaking, the adrenaline and body triggers that are signposts to my nerves are on rapid-fire. In my case, my underarms sweat while my hands go cold.

Yet I continue to perform. It's about the connection, the chance to live purposefully, the moment for charging the air with good energy. The day I learned that my body would respond the same way when I am enthused as when I am nervous, I learned a key lesson. Don't assume you're about to take a dive, unless you're swimming.

If you are also an introvert, as I am, you may be one of the best performers, if you let yourself be. No doubt you have become an expert in a topic or two, are focused on staying calm under pressure and take time to read the audience. All of these reasons make the Introverts, not the Extroverts, the best performers.

Maybe you also play in a band, sing or act. Neither would surprise me - I, too, do those things. You are creative, reflective and skilled at paying attention.

When it comes to public speaking, please consider it. You have what the audience wants. When you realize that, you will take the time to plan, prepare and practice. You will shift from thinking you are not good enough to creating a positively memorable experience. Think about. Then agree to do it the next time you are asked. And you will be asked.

If you think you want it, I would love to help.