It's All in Your Head

Think you're going to screw up in front of your next audience? If you do, it's because it's all in your head.

Literally. Our screw-ups are driven by our fears and momentary lapses of confidence. So to conquer these lapses and plan for success, it's up to do us to change the voice in our head.

3 Circumstances that Test Us

We are all good communicators for the most part. We think, we feel, we express and we listen to the thoughts and expressions of others. Yet sometimes we are tested.

3 circumstances that test our communication - both the voice in our head that creates calm or anxiety and the voice we use to express - are the following:

1. When we think our audience will disagree
2. When our emotions are negative
3. When risk is high

And given our responsibilities, environment and past experiences, these circumstances may come more frequently to us than to others.

How do we usually respond? In general, when we don't think first - forcing our voice to manage ourselves rather than to lose our composure - we fight or flee. These animal instincts are even more specifically turned into behavior patterns that hold us back.

Barrier Patterns that Create a Negative Voice in Your Head

We all have patterns that we fall into in the above circumstances. James Waldroop and Timothy Butler describe them in detail in their book The 12 BAD Habits that hold GOOD People Back. But for  a brief personal assessment, scan this list to determine which seems most suited to you when you are tested by any of the 3 circumstances above.

1. Never Feeling Good Enough
2. Seeing the World in Black and White
3. Doing Too Much, Pushing Too Hard
4. Avoiding Conflict at Any Cost
5. Running Roughshod over the Opposition
6. Rebel Looking for a Cause
7. Always Swinging for the Fence
8. When Fear is in the Driver’s Seat
9. Emotionally Tone Deaf
10. When No Job is Good Enough
11. Lacking a Sense of Boundaries
12. Losing the Path

Okay, so now you see the patterns that most often hold you back. If you dwell on any of these patterns, you will give them roots in your mind, feeding the voice in your head.

What to Focus on to Change Your Voice

But if instead you focus on those things you and those around you do well, you will effectively counter that voice and manage yourself.

• Think of what you have to offer.

• Think of past experiences with handling difficult circumstances well.

• Think of what people value about you.

This leads you to take the steps you need to plan, prepare and practice for the times you will be challenged. Practice doesn't make perfect. Practice shapes our attitude. So plan by knowing your value and practice demonstrating it by getting into circumstances that test your mettle.

With practice, you can alter the voice in your head that used to throw you, moments prior to the circumstances above. You will shift your attitude about handling tough circumstances from anxiety to enthusiasm. And then your head voice becomes an external voice of confidence and influence.

Want a strong outcome? It's all in your head. Begin practicing now.