I Already Know, and So Do You

I have been awake since 4am, after not going to sleep until 1. The trigger for this unrest is something I have experienced before. I feel anxious about facing my next audience.

My anxiety stems from being expected to speak on a topic uncommon for my usual addresses.  And since my topic of focus is one uncommon to me, I feel burdened with needing to get more information. How much is enough?

Ponder These: quotes on introversion

Friday is a great day for reflecting on the past week, the week ahead and things relevant to who we are. Introverts, see what you think of the following 5 quotes on introversion:




"I'm an introvert at heart... And show business - even though I've loved it so much - has always been hard for me."
Roy Rogers



"I was a very shy and introverted person, and it was hard for me to talk to people and make relationships."
Gabriela Sabatini

“I just realized my lips are inside out. They should be turned inwards, because I spend most of my time talking to myself. ”
Jarod Kintz

“Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially “on,” we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn’t antisocial. It isn’t a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: “I’m okay, you’re okay—in small doses.”
― Jonathan Rauch

“Having people in different optimal environments increases the chances of survival of the human race as a whole. It is nature's way to preserve her species.”
― Marti Olsen Laney, The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World

We know it's hard, but...

Yesterday I shared a post on preparing being the key  (Introverts Can Prepare to Step Out of the Comfort Zone) to motivation. This morning the TODAY show put focus on Why It's Hard for Women to Speak Up in Meetings. The question is, if you know there is a reason for why you behave certain ways, does this give you an excuse to continue doing so?

When I was teaching high school speech class, moments before students would get up to present I would hear them say, "But it's hard!" As though this is an excuse to not take action.

Yep, it's hard to get out of bed, it's hard to hear no, it's hard to speak up in meetings, to attend networking events and to give public speeches, yet that's a silly excuse for not doing so. Preparing for it to be hard while coaching ourselves to do it anyway is half the battle. Soon we find what was once thought hard is now easy.

I cringed when I saw the title of the news magazine for the above focus on women in meetings. We don't need any more reason to not speak up. What we need are reasons to speak up and direction in how to accomplish it.

Reasons to speak up
1. We have ideas that need to be heard
2. We provide sensitivity
3. We understand the value of letting all voices be heard
4. We create diverse perspective, that in the sharing, benefits the group as a whole
5. It gives us confidence

Similarly to introverts, women are thinkers as well as feelers. Women stand just as much of a chance in offering substance as men.

How to speak up
1. Plan for it
2. Practice it
3. Do it again

Although we make it harder than it is, it may FEEL hard, but it's fairly simple to speak up. Sure, there are times you will fall into the common pattern shared above, but focus on the reasons speaking up will serve a purpose. You can let your voice be heard.

Introverts Can Prepare to Step Out of the Comfort Zone

Yesterday I wrote Yes, You Can Gain Visibility, mentioning those times when introverts struggle with being seen and still maintaining the introvert comfort. In the article, 10 Ways Introverts Can Get Noticed at Work, Jhaneel Lockhard refers to my favorite author, Nancy Ancowitz, when he says Prepare for the times you have to step out of your comfort zone. Continuing the idea of being seen, let's approach it now from another perspective - being seen within your organization.

Most attorneys start out in a firm where, for the first few years, work is provided to them until they can prove their own ability to originate or business build on their own. From the partner perspective, this is not a time to rest on their laurels of simply being qualified to do the work. The associates must also demonstrate their confidence in doing so.

I once had a client who was struggling to take initiative in firm meetings. She attended, and she had intelligence to share, yet her meeting behavior held her back in many people's eyes. Eyes averted, and head turned down, her nonverbals spoke aloud her lack of confidence. Further behaviors of not speaking - whether to confirm or add to the conversation - forced her supervisors/partners to not only be concerned about the tone she set at firm meetings, but also gave concern about her handling of clients.

Lockhard and Ancowitz suggest preparation is important when anticipating visibility. Whether we are attending internal or external meetings, consider what agenda items you will be able to offer insight in. Further, stepping out of the comfort zone means connecting. It means getting out of our head and into the present with those around us. It means initiating conversation as well as simply participating in it. So as you prepare which items to speak to, make notes on how you will keep your ideas in bullet points, clear and concise.

We introverts who get out of their head when with others - still listening, still observing and still reflecting - allow those around us to trust us. That's worth getting out of our comfort zones.

Yes, you can gain visibility

As an introverted business professional, I am challenged by the need to be seen. Maybe not by everyone everywhere, yet I need to be seen by those I am most able to help - attorneys. I need to be visible where attorneys are.

Although people who know me question whether I am an introvert, I know the difficulty involved with getting out of my head and into conversation. I may conduct myself well socially, yet I am constantly pushing myself to demonstrate my introvert assets - deep thinking, clear understanding of my expertise and meaningful value. These assets, though valuable, mean nothing unless I am a visible sign of them. Can you relate?

Fun Quotes on Speaking

Because it's fun to have a good quip or two when the time arises, here are a few comical quotes on public speaking I found from a few sources:

"Make sure you have finished speaking before your audience has finished listening."

— Dorothy Sarnoff

"Speak when you are angry—and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret."

— Laurence J. Peter

"The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

— George Jessel

Above all found at The Grinning Planet

A few more...

"When I was born, I was so surprised I couldn't speak for a year and a half" - Gracie Allen

"Before God, we are all equally wise - and equally foolish" - Albert Einstein

found at Public Speaking Solutions

And let me end with:

Q: What would you call Sir Lancelot if he lost his voice?
A. Silent Night

Some people are considered fools.
Some people speak and remove all doubt.
take from AskMetaFilter

Hope you enjoyed this fun diversion! Happy Thursday.

Add to Your #Introvert Reading List

There's good reason to assume that if you're reading this as an introvert, you appreciate reading - see There's Power in New Information. In the past I have mentioned books to read - For the Introvert Reader. Additionally, today I am adding to the resources with more good stuff!

NPR and Oprah have focused in the past month on Susan Cain for her book, Quiet. I am eagerly awaiting that read. Have you read it yet? In the meantime, I just finished The Introverted Leader - Building on Your Quiet Strength, by Jennifer Kahnweiler. Written in 2009, this book addresses our temperament as it compares to the many activities and  responsibilities of the leader. Of late, I have used it's focus on public speaking, meeting participation and managing up. Addressing the 4 key challenges we introverts face, this Kahnweiler moves on to give practical guidance in conquering these challenges within the context of each leadership activity.


What are you reading? Let me know so I may add to my list as well.