Getting in the Flow #1

This isn't going to be a "how to" post on what it takes to find that sweet spot we're after. Instead, I feel the need to reflect on the space I'm in. Especially as it applies to several things I have neglected until recently.

Today's post is addressing what has changed since my recent move. Tomorrow's post will address another neglected and now enjoyed piece of my life.

Those of you who know me well have heard me share my love of living downtown. The bustling activity, city that never sleeps (yea, not only New York can claim this!) and feeling of being in the middle of the action has a real pull.

And then a month ago we moved away from downtown to be on the water in a private quarry/lake community full of mature trees and out-of-the way bird and geese activity.

Wow! The activity of nature is amazing. From cardinals to herons to a vulture we spotted over the weekend, camped out about 300 yards from the view of our balcony before it flew away with something in its talons.

Not only our cats are enjoying this activity. Each morning the chorus of bird song pulls me awake and alert to what it's really like to be in the flow. An introvert, I appreciate connecting with nature and letting my mind find fluidity. When living downtown, I didn't have this ability. Now that I do, I see the difference in my state of mind.

Yesterday after a very productive day of presenting and networking, I took time to float in the quarry. I have an upcoming Effective Communication series the local bar association is sponsoring and need to flesh out the perameters of each CLE session. The predominant thought in my head was to ruminate over each while in the water.

I donned my swimsuit, grabbed my water noodle, and swam out into the central area of the quarry to let my thoughts go wild. It works! My thoughts shaped the design of each session, offered co-presenter possibilities, and then when I went to last night's networking event, I began sharing these thoughts and found even more ideas flowing from others.


Now I see that my mental focus and clarity is tied to my natural surroundings. I feel so in the flow! Can you relate?

Separate Rote Learning from Meaningful Delivery

Yesterday's post, Meaningful vs. Rote Delivery, opened the idea that speakers often act unenthused.

Where does this come from?

One of the places it comes from is our habits with memorization. Many speakers practice for familiarity/memorization of their message and fall into rote memorization and delivery patterns.

In school we were taught mathematics patterns through flashcards, scientific theories through rote memorization and delivery. Spelling bees were another case for quick responses, minus the emotional delivery.

We were rewarded when we got it right, encouraged to speed up with the next response.

Each of these cases encouraged us to memorize answers. Although through repetition and song we created long-term learning (our ABC's, for example) for most of us, the rote memorization was to help us past short term learning exercises.

Yet when it comes to influencing people, rote memorization falls short. Quick, unenthusiastic delivery creates little engagement from the jury and the court, or from those listening to a sales pitch or sitting in  a classroom.

If your expertise is invested in subjects that required rote memorization, adjust your patterns when you need to influence. Learn through quick repetitive measures, yet when speaking about the information, slow down and attach meaning.

Meaningful vs. Rote Delivery

It's graduation season.

Recall the graduation ceremonies you have been to when you listened  to boring speakers. Because each ceremony easily has a dozen or more speakers at the podium, we really only have to consider the last ceremony we have attended that bored us.

It's because most speakers read their delivery AND/OR don't really care about what they are saying. Then someone stands up who cares, gives a meaningful delivery and that's when we pay attention.

Rote delivery is the speaking or memorizing of information when we care less about what we are saying. Either we aren't attached to the information, we are in a hurry or simply distracted. Rote delivery puts people to sleep, or at least sends listeners on a quick vacation.

Not so with meaningful delivery. When a speaker presents this way, they are enthused about what they have to say and who they are with.  They care.

Want people on a mental vacation when you are speaking? No? Then give them meaningful delivery. Audience members will nod, smile, get curious and really appreciate that you gave energy and enthusiasm to your message!

Pull it Forward

On Fridays I enjoy having no appointments, especially as it helps me recall the mission of my work. See post titled Remember the Why. It's important for us entrepreneurs and introverts to recall our mission regularly and then pull it forward into our week.

Where Do You Draw the Lines?

My typical mode of operation includes no appointments on Friday. This allows me to stay diligent with administrative tasks of planning, preparation, scheduling and follow up with proposals, presentations or programs. So when it comes to scheduling meetings on Fridays, especially in the late afternoon, I draw the line.

Yet there are times I will bend it.

• a client/prospect has an already scheduled group meeting that day they invite me to attend to seek counsel
• my monthly business accountability meeting with my master mind group
• an out of town appointment that can be tied to an out of town engagement with my band

We each need to know where we draw our lines because when we forget - or when we don't draw them - we get frustrated with ourselves. And this leads to losing the path.

Where do you draw the lines?

Define your boundaries and you define your operational values. Also define how/when you will bend them so you establish your flexibility muscle.

Can't speak up in time? Try this.

Consider the last time you were attending a meeting.

One of the agenda topics gets a few comments from other attendees, then a conclusion is reached and the facilitator moves on to the next topic. More comments are shared. Now you reach a point in your head that you wish you had expressed on the earlier topic. What do you do? For fear of looking like you waited too long to speak up, you say nothing.

If you are an introvert, like I am, this happens to you a lot. We introverts routinely think things through longer before we share our thoughts.

In meeting environments there isn't time for us introverts to think. Comments must be shared now so we can move on to the next point.

Save yourself the frustration with this one simple tip:

Get the meeting agenda ahead of time.

With the agenda in advance you can review the items to be discussed, give quality time to your experiences and/or understanding of them, consider the questions you have and the ideas you wish to share.

Meetings are times to demonstrate what we think. Don't give up this chance.

We introverts don't demonstrate much if we don't speak up. But if we have taken the time to think about the topics prior, we can get to the sharing point before the facilitator has moved on.

Want to speak up? Help yourself by giving yourself necessary time to think things through.

Remember the WHY

It's Friday, the most common day of the week to forget why we are in the business we are in. On a day like today it's often easier to remember what we are doing outside of the work day - through the weekend.

Yet for many of us, the anxiety of not following through with tasks outside our comfort zone that are crucial in our career leads us to search for distraction.

It is for this reason we must remember why we made the commitment to our profession in the first place. This gives us something to celebrate through the weekend and motivate our Monday energy.

Answer this question. What made you chose your profession?

Sure, the logical reason may have more to do with the pay and benefits. But what's the emotional reason? Why law? Why sales? Why research? Why serve the people?

The question is really asking - what's your story? Get to the heart of it. Then enjoy your weekend.